(Closed) For all of us older brides out there…

posted 3 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 2
Member
1703 posts
Bumble bee

wifetobee63 :  

LOL!! I hadn’t heard that, but I was an over 40 bride and SOOOO glad I waited!! 🙂  

 

Post # 3
Member
4392 posts
Honey bee

wifetobee63 :  I’m not an older bride but the whole bank robbery hostage thing you mentioned just made me laugh LOL. My aunt has been married 3 times. First at 28, then at 35. The last one being at 49 years old and that is her best and longest relationship ever.  

Post # 4
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

wifetobee63 :  yeah and it eliminated 99% of the male population from your dating pool. No wonder. For example, you weren’t even “allowed” to marry someone your own age or one year older or younger. I think it had to be exactly 2 years older and he couldn’t have been married before. All sorts of eliminations.  I know people who have married several times after the age of 40 and some who have married at 75 or 80.

Post # 5
Member
5087 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

nycsa :  was this a trump University study?

Post # 6
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Ugh! That was a real, but small study (and, not a great one!). But, then, Newsweek got a hold of it, found a salacious headline and some great media snippets, and it was off and running! Soon, everyone was saying it as if it was a FACT! I think their actual quote (Newsweek)- and, bear in mind that this was before anyone ever thought that there would be a terrorist attack on US soil- was something to the effect of a highly educated single woman over forty had a better chance of being killed in a terrorist attack than of getting married. It was quite the news for a while- and, a total misrepresentation of a small and not great research study.

Post # 7
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

wifetobee63 :  That’s got to be a made-up statistic. 

I found some Australian statistics. Now admittedly Australia’s got guns under control etc so we’ve probably got less bank robberies than many other countries, but still: we average about 500 bank robbery victims a year, and only 1% of those – an average of 5 per year – are hostages. http://www.aic.gov.au/publications/current%20series/tandi/241-260/tandi253.html Since Australia’s got a population of about 24 million, that’s a chance of 1 in 4.8 million every year. Say 1 in a million to be generous.

40-44 year old women http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/[email protected]/Lookup/4102.0Main+Features30March+Quarter+2012#MARRIAGES  marry at a rate of roughly 10 per 1000, or 1 in 100, each year.

So you’ve got a 1 in 100 chance of marrying in a given year, and roughly a 1 in a million chance of being a bank hostage. Being married is 10000 times more likely.

Post # 8
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

robsbeach :  Real? I’d love to see the link. I don’t see how anyone could possibly suggest it, no matter how small a sample (see my email above). Are you sure Newsweek didn’t accidentally cite The Onion?

Post # 9
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

It was a real study- it just did not say what Newsweek said it did- they took snippets of the study and slapped a titilating headline on it. It was, as I recall, in the mid-80’s. We discussed the actual study- which bore no true resemblance to the Newsweek headline (but, was still a poor study)- in a couple of my college psych classes at that time. We basically dicussed problems with the research, but also the greater implications of how it was totally misinterpreted in the media (even such as it was), and then the misinfo just spread as if it was fact.

Post # 10
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

(and, I don’t think the Onion- which I enjoy!- was around in the mid-80s, but I could be wrong on that one!)

Post # 11
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

robsbeach :  But I’m still confused – how could such a bad study ever get that far? How could any university or research insitution put their name to it, and how could anyone from Newsweek read it without laughing?

OK, I found it at Snopes http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/terrorist.asp

The study said a university educated 40 year old never-married woman had a 2.6% chance of every marrying (which for various reasons was far too low), and the “terrorist” bit (not bank hostage) was put in as a joke by Newsweek, as far as Snopes can work out. 

Post # 12
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

aussiemum1248 :  Yes, unfortunately, the “killed by terrorist” chance might be a little higher right now than in the 1980s. By the way, the writers of the article retracted it, they stated that they hadn’t taken into account that marriage trends/ages were changing. 

Post # 13
Member
1411 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

You asked if people still think like this?

I got married at 40 and everyone was really happy for me. No difference to if I were 30. I can’t remember any negative comment or surprise at all. Maybe one older relative saying it was about time but they were a real exception and people like that have outspoken views no matter what you do. Maybe they don’t really see me as a typical 40 year old! 😉

It probably depends a lot on your social circle. Mine is basically ‘university educated in the UK’ and in that (limited) group it’s probably average to marry in your early, even mid 30s. We have  a family friend who got engaged recently at 24 (she’s a very mature girl in a great relationship) and most of the 60-somethings (who got married themselves around 25!) expressd the opinion that she was ‘still very young’ and maybe it was best if the wedding wasn’t immediate, ‘they should wait a couple of years’! So increasingly, getting married too young actually has a bit of a stigma where I’m from.

Post # 15
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have never even dated someone exactly 3 years older than me (the only group of men I would have been permitted to marry according to this study.

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