- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
I wrote this to my aunt, I just found it in my email – and I thought….maybe someone else could use it, send it to someone they love. Or maybe someone just needs to read it for themselves.
I know that you sober is not who you are when you’re drunk. I also know that it is a nasty disease that controls people, consumes their thoughts and ruins their lives. What you need to realize is that it doesn’t only affect you, it affects ALL of us. While I realize that you are not as bad as you were when you were with him, I also know that you are not better, that you will not ever be better, until you are ready to receive help. You cannot do it alone. No one can. No one wants to hurt their family with their actions and words because of their alcoholism. No one wakes up each morning and says “I want to drink until I forget who I am and what I stand for”. If it were something that people could stop themselves, there wouldn’t be any alcoholics around.
You really need to understand that while you think you’re only hurting yourself, you are also hurting those around you that love you the most. Not only is it extremely difficult for us to watch you slowly destroy your body, it is also hard for us to watch the behaviour that comes with it from the slurring, exaggerated gestures, drinking our alcohol to saying things that you cannot take back. It is so hard, because we all know what and who you are when you are not overcome with this illness, we know that you are a kindhearted and loving person who would never ever want to hurt anyone, especially family.
I love you. I want so much for you to be strong enough to ask for the help that you so desperately need. Whatever it is that you feel you cannot face sober, you can. You have family that loves you, and friends that love you. We all want what is best for you, and for you to love yourself enough to want to get better. There will never be a ‘good’ time to quit, there will always be stress in your life that will allow yourself to think you can or will do it another day. There’s never a time that will be easier, your mind will always make up an excuse, that is how all addictions work. Accepting help does not make you weak, it makes you strong. The rest of us believe you can beat this if you want to, you just have to believe it and want it yourself.
You can make the choice every day to wake up and fight this bastard demon with everything you have inside you. You do not have to do it alone. You have all of us to help you, to lean on for support, to talk you out of that first sip. If you can promise to work to get there, I can promise to work on forgiveness.