(Closed) For Better or Worse…. What did you when worse arrived?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We’re not married yet, but have experienced several tough times this year alone – Fiance losing his job, my mother’s death, my father’s cancer diagnosis.  I believe getting through these times was possible because of how constant we both were on being there for one another and, in turn, relying on one another.  We give each other hope and push one another to help ourselves out of situations and negative places.  We have several mantras for hard times.  “This too shall pass” is pretty universal.  “Only good will come from this situation.”  I think we both tend to draw from a place of percieved resilience – in a what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger sense. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Let’s see, “worse” started the day he moved in. He has a toxic relationship with his mother, to the point that she’s taken him to court once already & we’re getting ready for round 2. Now it’s gotten worse, his aunt & uncle are now sending harassing emails to him, threatening to try & get him fired, all because he owes her money. Fortunately, once we get through small claims court we won’t have to speak to any of them again. Shortly after he moved in, my air conditioner went out, the main water line ruptured, he had a close call with work (he’s still on probation, so any infraction could cost him the job), & now my job is potentially tenuous. Through it all, we tell each other “we’ll get through this together, you’re not in it alone.” I’ve been on my own for so long that it’s been hard to get used to having someone to lean on, & he’s never had anyone stand beside him, so this is new territory for the both of us. But like we keep telling each other, we can get through this together.

Post # 5
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We don’t necessarily have struggles because of our personalities, but his committment to the Army constantly cancels our personal plans, which definitely is trying. I’m fully aware that marrying an Army man means marrying the Army too, and I’ve definitely learned patience.

Plus, I play collegiate sports so when I’m not in class, I’m practicing, so it doesn’t leave much time for us to spend together, which is valuable time to me considering he’s deploying soon. Today SO called me to surprise me with reservations to a great steakhouse and asked me to wear one of my nice dresses…but the Army intervened. I did cry, but I am learning that I SO depends on me for emotional support in these matters, too; it’s not all about me and I need to be patient with him and be flexible. It’s not his fault and I know he loves me dearly.

It’s been a growing experience in sacrifice, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It’s teaching me to love more selflessly.

Post # 6
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Tagging to follow, this has always interested me too…

Post # 7
Member
9667 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

we aren’t married yet but have definitely experienced ‘worse’. I got diagnosed with depression in early March, less than two months after we got engaged. I think it actually helped our relationship believe it or not. Beforehand we would fight all the time, about silly little things. But through the past few months we haven’t fought, we talk a lot more about issues, etc. he has been my rock, he has supported me fully, and understood me, even when my immediate family haven’t been as supportive. 

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