(Closed) For brides living together before marriage , did your relationship changed after

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
Post # 16
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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lucky_charm :  you didn’t feel secure before? Marriage is not any more secure than any relationship.

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legojedi :  hold on? You need to go somewhere to register it? I thought the marriage certificate mean that the officiant alredy did that? 

 

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weddingbells2016 :  nothing has changed really, we are still the same people in the same relationship. 🙂

Post # 17
Member
2922 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Our relationship changed a little when we moved in together, in the sense that we were no longer going on as many dates the way we did before, and being together so often made us more “comfortable”, it did change a little after marriage but not because we are married but because I got pregnant right away, which has changed our sex life a little bit, but things are still great, just a little different.

Post # 18
Member
770 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza

We lived together for 4 years before getting married and will hit our 3 year wedding anniversary this September!   On a day to day basis, nothing changed.  As far as our relationship goes, it has definitely strengthed and now we’re more of a family rather than a couple.

Post # 19
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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subola :  not married yet but I have already noticed a change since getting engaged, similar to what you’re saying. Like you mentioned, anything we were reserving mentally before in regards to being a family unit has come through. I feel much more we are a team (not that we weren’t before, just really obvious).

 

OP, I think it just depends on how you and your Fiance are already behaving in your relationship. We met and started dating 3 years ago, and moved in together a little over 2.5 years ago, and adopted two dogs together. 

Post # 20
Member
255 posts
Helper bee

We have lived together for three years, of which you can probably add another one as he basically lived at my student house anyway! 

Together for over five and a half years in total, bought a house a little over a year ago and married a few weeks ago.

It hasn’t changed anything fundamentally in our relationship as we felt committed to each other moreso through the house, it’s more of a fun, warm feeling we each get when we refer to each other as wifeys (and i married a dude 😉 ). 

Post # 21
Member
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Living together for the first time was def the biggest relationship charger for us. It changed in the sense that we had to learn to live with someone, pay bills, buy groceries, you learn a new routine. We lived together for 5 years and dated for 10 before we got married just 3 weeks ago.  We felt way more of a difference after moving in together than getting married. Feels exactly the same as 3 weeks ago, except now he wears a ring hahahah.  

Post # 23
Member
608 posts
Busy bee

We just got married at the beginning of this month and we’ve lived together 3 years. I dont think it’s changed at all between us but I do notice people’s reactions are different when we say “this is my husband” vs “this is my fiance” it’s like they take it more seriously. But between us no changes really.

ETA: I get what bees are saying. It is really nice to look at my husband and think “he’s actually my husband now” mostly thats associated with me feeling a huge relief that all the wedding planning is over

 

 

 

 

Post # 24
Member
639 posts
Busy bee

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weddingbells2016 :  We lived together for three years, including owning a house for one before marriage. Our finances were combined, we own dogs together — our lives were very intertwined. But something totally changes after getting married. It’s intangible and I’m still having a problem putting what it is exactly into words but there’s a definite difference.

Post # 25
Member
4812 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I am someone who believes that commitment, trust, honesty, security and so on can all exist independent of marriage (and marriage does not guarantee it either). So, I would say marriage did not change anything fundamentally in our relationship. We already enjoyed all those things – or we would not have got married! 

It was still very emotional and touching to exchange our vows and declare those commitments and promises publicly. We regularly tell each other that marrying each other was one of best decisions we have respectively made. I would agree there is maybe a certain “warmth” in knowing we are married, but I am not sure I can explain why that is. I would also say that over the years we have further enriched and deepened our bond – but I don’t think that is because we married, but rather just the nature of our relationship and who we are.

We lived together about 9 months before we were married.

Post # 26
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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RosaBride :  sorry I probably should have explained more. I’m from the uk, he’s Japanese, we live in Japan, got married in Vegas. The U.K. Doesn’t need us to register or anything, but Japan needs to see a copy of the translated certificate and maybe and apostille before they will recognise the marriage. 

I need to send a certificate to the passport office and the driving licence people to change my name, too! 

Post # 27
Member
481 posts
Helper bee

For us, our relationship got better but my relationship with my now Mother-In-Law changed for the worse. 

Post # 28
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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RosaBride :  

We did feel secure before but I would say more so now. In my opinion marriage is more secure than just dating as you have signed a legal contract to be that person’s spouse as well as in our case making that commitment before friends and family. Also in legal terms we are now each other’s next of kin, we are each other’s beneficiaries when we die, we now legally have ‘what’s mine is yours’ in terms of all property (which we agreed to some time ago but now it’s legally the case). 

 

Also for me personally there’s something about marriage that says I’m choosing you forever that, while you can verbally say that while dating, just feels different after marriage.

 

So yes I think we feel more secure now. Other people feel differently and feel just as secure in a long term relationship without marriage and that’s fine too, goes without saying. It’s a very individual thing. 

Post # 29
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

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weddingbells2016 :  we had been living together for 2.5 years and owned our own house for one year prior to marriage. Nothing changed for us as the commitment and values were already there, and we had already learned how to live and manage a house together. A friend of mine who recently got married has found it challenging to live together after marriage. There are a few other factors at play but they are still finding their way in managing their new household.

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