- 10 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
We pretty much share the duties.
We pretty much share the duties.
When my fiance and I first moved in together, I was unemployed (and stayed that way for five months), so I did pretty much all of the cleaning, errands, cooking, etc. I just started a new job 2/1 and we’re working on a more equitable division of labor. My fiance and I have REALLY different definitions of “clean”, though, and he just doesn’t notice stuff the way I do. Once I specifically ask him to clean the bathroom, he’ll do it. But I’m frightened to see how long it would take for him to just clean it on his own.
Well we both work 60+ hour weeks, so we don’t cook or clean much – yay for living in NYC and having a maid coming every other (an important ingredient to a solid marriage for us!). Beyond that, its pertty even – we each do our own laundry, I do more of the dishes when we do use them and he throws out the trash, sweeps the leaves, does any home fixing we might need….he is much better at straightening up (he sees mess) and I am better at cleaning (I see dirt). He takes care of the car and I take care of the bills…..we never talked about it, it just worked out that we do the things we think about most. I would NEVER think about getting the oil changed and it would never occur to him that the gross stuff in the fridge should be in the trash 🙂
We’re pretty equal. I cook, he cleans up after we’re done eating. We both share the laundry responsibilities, we both do the shopping together, we both vacuum, we both shovel snow (ugh). He takes out the trash, usually cleans out the cat boxes and mows the lawn. I dust/wipe things clean, make the bed, unload the dishwasher.
He does 99%, I handle the food (grocery shopping and cooking), he does everything else. My acceptable living standard is a lot less neatfreakish than his and he doesn’t have a job right now, so he handles all the laundry, dishes, floors, kitty litter, etc. I think we’ll have to strike a ballance once he’s working again, but while he’s home all day he takes care of the place.
I’m a grad student who works from home and he’s in sales, working 65-70 hrs a week. I do almost all of the home things, with help from him when I specifically ask for it.
He likes to cook, and will do his own laundry, but won’t clean the bathroom vacuum or dust at all…. which leaves me with the chores! oh well. At least I know when I clean, it’s really clean!
We just moved in together but so far (and I hope it continues)… it seems like I do the grocery shopping, most meals (including making him lunch every morning), and most of the laundry. He does the dishes after I cook, and shovels the driveway (and i think will mow the lawn), and helps out with laundry when i ask. We plan to split cleaning. We both keep things pretty picked up.
it’s pretty even, because he does most the cooking (he has a food blog and it’s his creative outlet) and laundry (because he’s pickier about folding than i am). we usually grocery shop together, and take turns taking care of the dog. but i get frustrated sometimes because all the little housework things–reorganizing, making the bed, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, etc–fall on me, and they seem little but add up to a lot. and i get frustrated about having to nag him about “his” jobs that he doesn’t love–like taking out the trash. i mean, cooking is a huge help, but he loves it, so it’s doesn’t always feel as even as it is…
This has been a thorn in our relationship! I’m a clean freak and his definition of cleaning is shoving it out of sight! ARGH. To save our relationship and my sanity we set up a deal. He has one room he can competely be in charge of (not a common room) and he chose the office, as long as I have a path to my desk he can trash that place till the cows come home and he does!!!
But, he pays for maids to come in every 2 weeks and cleans. He has been getting better and has helped me with laundry (putting it away) and dishes (filling the dishwasher) but yeah. I do everything else!
P.S. We pay $90 for the maids and this $180-200 a month is SOO worth it! I have dust allergies and it’s so nice to come home and not worry about dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, think about it! 🙂
We cook almost every meal together, plan our meals together, and ordinarily do our grocery shopping and laundry together too. My fiance does most of the rest of the house cleaning…I’m in medical school and don’t have much free time. We decided that it was more important that my free time is spent having quality time with him rather than doing housework, so he does almost all of the other chores. In the summer we have a garden and I take care of that and he takes care of mowing the lawn.
When we were both employed it was equal, but now that I don’t work I do more. I wanted to improve my cooking skills so now I finally have the time to spend shopping and preparing nice meals; I do all the cooking, and he washes dishes.
We have a maid service so neither of us does housework!
We each do our own laundry. I do most of the cleaning around the house. He takes care of the pool and takes out the garbage. He mows the lawn, but if he has to do any trimming, he clips and I pick them up. I cook dinner and do the dishes. He empties the dishwasher. I do the groccery shopping. We do big projects together, for instance painting a room. In the end I probably do a little bit more, but I don’t work as much as he does so I feel like it evens out in the end 🙂
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