(Closed) For Fun: Ladies, what etiquette rules are you breaking ON PURPOSE??

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 242
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

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@blueskye:  we are having an open bar beer and wine only. No p,us 1’s invited but 2 RSVP’d that they are bringing one. How rude. And like you, if they don’t like our choices, leave or better yet don’t come at all, lol. Last I checked it’s my wedding not yours. 

Post # 243
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Etiquette shouldn’t even be a word anymore, haha.  No matter what you do or say, Everyone or Someone always gets offended or finds it rude.   You just can’t please everyone, With that being said, i am guilty of most of what has been posted already about breaking “etiquette” rules.  

 

Post # 244
Member
3313 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is a mix of tradition and etiquette rules that I broke:

  • 2 weddings (one civil and one full wedding 6 months later) and yes I call them both weddings and am not changing my stance on that.
  • full wedding despite being 6months married
  • printed labels
  • put a preference for money on our wedding website 
  • had no bachelorette/bachelor party, wedding shower, etc
  • no dancing
  • no booze
  • small intimate ceremony with larger reception
  • listed both sets of parents on the invite
  • white wedding dress despite being already married and definitely not a virgin.
  • rsvp’s were labeled to come to my husband and I and not either of our parents
  • gave people true +1’s rather then list names that people didn’t seem to want to give.
  • No outer envelopes – I’m a pocketfold kinda gal
  • no garter toss or bouquet toss
  • ceremony on one day, reception on the next
  • did not use titles when making the address labels
  • did not set up a block of rooms for people to use, but did list a bunch of local hotels to help them find a place they liked
  • did not do toasts
  • had an ipod dj
  • slept with my husband the night before both weddings.  lol
  • guys had suits not tuxes

I don’t know, there are probably a whole bunch more.  lol  The only thing I had any complaints about was not having a registry.  I loved my wedding and would do the same again any time!  🙂

Post # 245
Member
3313 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is a mix of tradition and etiquette rules that I broke:

  • 2 weddings (one civil and one full wedding 6 months later) and yes I call them both weddings and am not changing my stance on that.
  • full wedding despite being 6months married
  • printed labels
  • put a preference for money on our wedding website 
  • had no bachelorette/bachelor party, wedding shower, etc
  • no dancing
  • no booze
  • small intimate ceremony with larger reception
  • listed both sets of parents on the invite
  • white wedding dress despite being already married and definitely not a virgin.
  • rsvp’s were labeled to come to my husband and I and not either of our parents
  • gave people true +1’s rather then list names that people didn’t seem to want to give.
  • No outer envelopes – I’m a pocketfold kinda gal
  • no garter toss or bouquet toss
  • ceremony on one day, reception on the next
  • did not use titles when making the address labels
  • did not set up a block of rooms for people to use, but did list a bunch of local hotels to help them find a place they liked
  • did not do toasts
  • had an ipod dj
  • slept with my husband the night before both weddings.  lol
  • guys had suits not tuxes

I don’t know, there are probably a whole bunch more.  lol  The only thing I had any complaints about was not having a registry.  I loved my wedding and would do the same again any time!  🙂

Post # 246
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

oh, where to start, lol Some of this is more tradition than etiquette, but oh well

  • I’ve used clear address labels for the save the dates and intend to do so for the invitations.  I have terrible handwriting, and in any case – I’m rather obsessed with fonts and already have the perfect one in mind
  • No DJ
  • I’ll be walking down the aisle alone – I am nobody’s prize chicken being given away at the altar!
  • My best friend is a lesbian, my other best friend is male, and so two out of my three “bridespeople” will be wearing traditionally male attire.  I told them I don’t care what they wear, as long as they show up and are comfortable (within reason! no potato sacks, please!) I’m sure that will go over well with some traditional family members… 
  • Not doing +1 unless we both know the person, or one of us feels very strongly about inviting both.  This stuff costs too much without adding on people neither of us care deeply about
  • No names of parents on the invitations.  We’re paying for it ourselves, and anyway, WE are getting married of our OWN volition – just not sure why it is relevant
  • No seating chart – I’m pretty sure people can seat themselves, and anyway, if my aunt is being extra bitchy that night perhaps people who would normally sit by her would prefer to relocate.  
  • Plastic plates and cups!  I know some people go ape crazy over this, but seriously, it’s cheaper (but more wasteful… I know), and with our famous Kansas City BBQ dinner it isn’t terribly out of place.  They match our colors, at least, and will be a heck of a lot more easy to transport to the venue than real dishware, and no dishes to do afterwards.
  • No alcohol!  Our venue doesn’t allow it as it is located in a building on public park property.  I think people can have a good time without it, and I don’t want to deal with drunk guests. 
  • I refuse to follow the rules about addressing invites.  I will invite by first and last name, and list first names in alphabetical order.  For instance, “Kristina and Trevor Smith” rather than “Mr. Trevor and Kristina Smith”.  Why should the man always be listed first? This was the most fair way I could think of to address envelopes.
  • … I’m sure there’s more.

I have to admit I’m rather disgusted that there is a different wording for invitations declaring something more of a “honor” if a wedding is held in a religious institution… as an atheist, I clearly find that offensive.  So there is no honor in attending a non-religious wedding?  … seriously? I’m having a hard time holding in the snark on that one.

Post # 247
Member
7294 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i did a bunch too.

– online RSVPs

– registry cards in invites. Granted i truly thought i was supposed to include them because of most weddings i had been invited to in the past had them. i had been on the fence with them, decided to put them in just because i had them, and then regretted it after.  But no one condemned me to my face about it.

– i did a honeymoon registry which is sometimes perceived as asking for cash, except that i actually did the activities that were purchased off it and totally loved it!

I cant think of others now as it has been so long, though i am sure there were more.

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