For Fun: Personalized Vows or Nah?

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: What did you do for your vows?
    Traditional vows : (22 votes)
    41 %
    Personal stories : (15 votes)
    28 %
    Somewhat traditional w/ flair : (11 votes)
    20 %
    Religious-based vows : (2 votes)
    4 %
    Other: I'll comment about it below : (4 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    3421 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    We wrote our own vows, but we’re still going to repeat them after the officiant like people do with traditional vows. I was afraid I’d be too blurry-eyed to read anything that was written down. Our vows are our promises to each other. We worked on them together for several days as we both added and changed parts until it was something we both liked.

    Post # 17
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee

    The idea of doing this makes me so nervous. The idea of being married in front of people already makes me really uncomfortable but I’d be even more nervous if we had to exchange personal, intimate vows.

    Post # 18
    Member
    662 posts
    Busy bee

    My FH and I’s relationship is based heavily on humor and light hearted was. We prank eachother often and often get into playful battles, rarely is there even an hour that goes by when we are completely serious with one another. 

    I am toying with the idea of doing anti-vows, for instance at first listing off a couple of things that I can’t/won’t promise. “I won’t promise that you won’t come home one night to a stray cat in our house.” -silly stuff like that, then rounded out at the end with some really heartfelt and even a bit traditionally promises. I like the sickness and in health thing, I’d probably include that but in my own words.

    Reading other bees posts I’m realizing just how different this may be, but typing it out makes me realize how much more o want to do it!

    Post # 19
    Member
    616 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    mrslovebird12 :  yes, for sure! But the bad thing is I’m stressing over what to write a little. Good thing I still have 4 more months!

    Post # 20
    Member
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    we wrote the entire ceremony to be a balance of funny and romantic and the vows were the same…. I promised to ‘always encourage Darling Husband to be the best person he could be- even if that means buying more lego to support his creatice endeavours’ after first saying that he was ‘Hilarious Chandler to my stressed out Monica, geeky Howard to my frustrated Bernadette’. His were soppy and romantic. We wrote them at the same time and then showed each other- I offered to change them, but it was nice that they were so different to be honest.

    I like personal- if romantic is ‘you’, then do romance, if funny is you then do funny… just do you ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 21
    Member
    3284 posts
    Sugar bee

    We wrote our entire ceremony ourselves basically. We are nature lovers, these were our vows (we both did the same):

    I ask the persons here present to witness that I, Darling Husband take you, PorcelainBelle to be my lawful wedded wife.

    I ask for our marriage to be abundant, to grow stronger through the seasons. May our love remain rich, like the spoils of nature. May it resemble fire – passionate and intense. May our marriage resemble water – A life force of vibrancy and nourishment.

    I wish for our bond to remain strong – Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually – to form a lasting marriage

    PorcelainBelle, I want you to always be happy and fulfilled and to know that you are loved and supported. Know that I will be by your side throughout any storms life wages upon us.

    As I give you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1412 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017 - Downtown Riverfront Cafe

    I forgot I had my very recently spoken personal vows in an email, in addition to the written “message in a bottle”, so here they are. Personal, intimate and confessional. 

     

    “I wanted to initially get married all those years ago so that you knew how much I loved you, even though I didn’t have justified reason for love at that time besides the overwhelming familiarity in my soul. I stand here now, my love justified through actions taken, words spoken, tears cried, trust building, child bearing, sleep depriving, giving and taking. You’re the only one I’ve been waiting for in life and you’re still here, you’re you-my love at first sight, my favorite person, my kids’ father, my beloved, beautiful man and I want you to know that I love you for those reasons and so many more, regardless of imperfections, mistakes, and complaints. Marriage isn’t about waiting for perfection. It’s about confessing and protecting what comforts me after a long day, ignites me after a long stare, empowers me after a long kiss, and what is real and true and irreplaceable. It’s about what means home and family and forever and you mean those things to me. You are my weakness and my healer. With you, I feel more like me. With you, I am us. You bring out only my best and influence better. I didn’t make sense without you. I choose you as my friend, lover, teacher, partner and now I will choose and love you with everything that I am for as long as I am as my husband.” <3

    Post # 23
    Member
    433 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I like both and think it depends on the couple. My sister officiated so we found some vows we liked online then customized it to us. However, my BFF and her hubby wrote their own and I loved that way too!

    Post # 24
    Member
    179 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    We’re doing personalized , and I have added religion into mine at least ๐Ÿ™‚ I had taken some therapy for depression, and my therapist told me to write all of my thoughts and feelings into a journal, good and bad. And I realised as I’ve gotten better I write mostly all the things I like about my FH so I turned my journal entries into my vows ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 25
    Member
    198 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Our entire ceremony was personalized by my BIL (officiant), and we wrote our own vows. We set some general guidelines for length and ‘feel’ so that they’d be a surprise, but still sound good together. I focused my vows on how we balance each other and are stronger together, and I think they turned out pretty good:

    I’m so glad we’re here, finally. Today, before our friends and loved ones, I promise to remember the lessons we’ve learned together and apply them to our future. 

     I promise to take care of the details, and to trust you with our big picture. I promise to treat you with love, patience, and respect; using sarcasm in good times and resisting the urge in bad. Even when my to-do list is a mile long, I promise to try to slow down and breathe. I promise to embrace your weaknesses and guard them with my strengths. I will ask for help when I need it, and offer help to you always. I promise to make my heart your shelter, because in your arms I am home.

     I love you for who you are, for who you will become, and for who I am when I’m with you. I promise to choose you every day, and to do the hard work that makes love last. I know that our lives together will be far better than either of us could manage alone.

     And so, with this ring I claim you publicly, now and for all time.

    Post # 26
    Member
    551 posts
    Busy bee

    mrslovebird12 :  When we met with our officiant we decided to do the tradtional vows during the ceremony. Now We are stuck between two choices:

    A) Before the ceremony (while getting ready) instead of exchanging “love notes”, we are going to exchange vows for us to read independently.

    OR

    B) While doing a first look, have the chance to read our vows to one another.

    Either one gives me the chance to fix up my make-up before the ceremony since I ugly-cry. HAHA! 

     

    Post # 27
    Member
    213 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    We eloped and wrote our own ceremony. It was beautiful. We wrote our own vows and both promised the same thing. I didn’t want to promise him undying love and have him promise to put the toilet seat down. ๐Ÿ™‚ Prior to that we both wrote something personal to read to each other about what we love about each other and thanked each other for differnt things. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Very personal.

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