Post # 46
A few years ago I was at a party and Darling Husband (was only my boyfriend at the time) had went out to get the food before the party started. He’d left with his friends so it was just me and a girlfriend.
We start talking about how hot one of DH’s friend is and that if we both weren’t in committed relationships we’d totally fuck his brains out!
Just at that moment, I see the poor guy walk into the kitchen, realising he was behind the door the whole time and had felt too awkward to announce he was there!!!
He never mentioned it and we still hang out every week with Darling Husband but I am constantly embarrassed whenever the subject of him (still) being single comes up!!
Post # 47
peggy92 : Oh gosh, I have a similar story but not nearly as bad as that, lol
We were at a family gathering and a cousin’s husband (who I’d never met before) had brought his dog and left it in their car with the windows down. The dog kept honking the horn which is what brought my attention to it, so I said aloud to my SIL, “They could at least tie him to a tree to run around a bit” and SIL just nodded and said “haha mmhm”. I wondered why she sounded uncomfortable, until I realized that said dog’s owner was in the room (behind a pillar which is why I didn’t see him). He acted like he didn’t hear me but I know he totally did. Awkward. I don’t regret what I said, but had I known he was present my tone would’ve been less judgmental, lol.
Post # 48
It was 1984, me & my then-boyfriend were at a casual family party. He was upstairs in his mom’s and her boyfriend’s room, watching Dr Who. So I went up to sit with him. We were sitting on the edge of the bed, not touching, all four feet on the floor, watching the TV, with the door open.
The show ends and we walk downstairs. Everyone was staring at me, and not in a friendly way. My boyfriend was talking to his mother’s boyfriend and he comes over to tell me that the boyfriend’s 90 year old father felt outraged that a single couple was in the bedroom together. Everyone knew we were only watching TV, not having sex, but it didn’t matter.
So I took my leave. We had been in my car, so with his whole family there, someone else could take the boyfriend home. I stopped by the side of the street a few blocks away, to throw up.
Post # 49
My whole life is a series of awkward moments, strung together.
As a child I managed to frequently walk into other people on the toilet, or the wrong bathroom in public areas.
Saw an old boss whos male and 20 years older than me and we went to do the half hug and cheek kiss thing but im left handed so go to do things the wrong way sometimes and ended up pecking him on the lips. Mortifying.
Fell down a whole flight of stairs at a work function. Not a little fall either, dramatic went flying down the stairs. Concussed myself.
Fell down a flight of stairs at school. Dramatically. Concussed myself. (Yes there’s a theme here)
Dh playfully threw a lighter at me at a party when we were freshly dating. I had thrown it at him first. I was running away from him and heading inside when he threw it. It rebounded off the corner of the brickwork which somehow gave it more force, and hit me straight in the eye. Cue almost instant black eye. No one saw him do it so while nursing my injury, had to explain to intoxicated friends (some of them large males) that he isn’t a woman basher and the injury was an accident.
Post # 50
Not sure if this one is all that funny, but definitely awkward!
A few years ago on Christmas, my SIL started talking about how she wanted to have another kid. She has two from a previous relationship, and then her new husband has 3 kids. So while all the kids are opening their presents, she’s going on about how she was looking into sperm donors. Her husband was standing awkwardly off to the side looking so uncomfortable.
Someone was like, “Um, why sperm donors? You’re married…?” She goes, “Well ew, I am not about to have his baby! No way! Can you imagine what it would be like? If I have a kid it’s gonna have to come from a different man’s sperm.”
Her husband looked dismayed that she was airing their dirty laundry and insulting him like that in front of the whole family on Christmas. Like, way to get into the holiday spirit on Christmas morning. 🤣
Post # 51
I was blowing my ex and his brother walked in.
Part two: I was blowing my ex and his mother walked in.
Post # 52
slomotion : I was having sex in a car in my parent’s driveway and my mom walked up.
Part 2: We decided to be smarter and parked on the street, and a cop walked up
Post # 53
I lost my virginity on my preachers couch (not the preachers son) The idiot flushed the condom, clogged the toilet, and when my preachers wife found it and asked her kids they both ratted us out. 😑
Post # 54
Oh so many moments.
1. One of my best mates is a very conservative Christian. He takes his virginity before marriage very seriously and has never had a girlfriend. A few years ago, he had an accident and when I heard he was in hospital I dropped everything, packed a few books and snacks and went to see him. There was nowhere to sit, so first sat and later laid next to him on his hospital bed. In a double room. All hands above covers, nothing sexual at all going on. And then his parents walked in. Maaaaaaan, the look they gave me, like I was the evil temptress come to steal their son.
2. I was at a political rally at college and had chatted to a random stranger about what we were reading. At some point I walked away to hang out with a mate, we sat on some stairs and talked. Then that first guy came up to me, really cross. He felt that by talking to him, I had basically tried to get into his pants and he then opened his fly and whipped out his dick. Which was really squashed and small. My mate and I stared and then burst out laughing.
3. Walking down stairs at school, two kids calling my name, one from above, one from below. I was wearing heels, stairs were slippery. I tumbled right into a group of 15-year-olds who at least slowed down my fall. My book bag spilled all its contents, including test papers throught the corridor. It must have looked hilarious bc all the kids were trying so hard not to laugh until I did. They then helped me up and collected my belongings.
4 At uni, I was overseeing a test in a lecture hall. I had to hand out testpapers to 100 students. The stairs in the lecture hall have a really weird height, so I managed to stumble not once, not twice but THREE times. All of them were laughing. I told them those were happy accidents because now they were a lot more relaxed about their exam.
So many more stories…
Post # 55
lovelyruby : holy shit, that is epic levels of awkward. Did she succeed in her sperms donor quest?
Post # 56
One time I laughed while delivering a funeral eulogy out of nerves.
Post # 57
pussinboots83 : Nope. I honestly think she was exaggerating her interest in having more kids to make a point that she thinks her husband is stupid, ugly, and has bad genetics. It was so uncomfortable. One of his kids overheard and asked what a sperm donor was.
Post # 58
michellelynn9175 : Did they at least appreciate that you practiced safe sex?
Post # 59
lovelyruby : that’s just awesome. My sil used to do that. She spent two years talking about how she can use a sperm donor to have another baby, that she doesn’t need my Brother-In-Law for it, that she will never, ever get her baby girl and has two boys instead
Then, we were supposed to be shocked at her “accidental” pregnancy lol she seriously thought we were stupid, it was pretty insulting. Like we didn’t spend two years listening to her about how she wanted a girl
Post # 60
lovelyruby : Absolutely not. I was 16 at the time, so the preachers wife told my mom. She about had a nervous breakdown. It was awful. I’m pretty positive to this day she’s never told my dad because I think he would’ve been devastated and probably killed the douche canoe that took my v card. He already hated him….so…..lol