For Fun: What "Etiquette Rules" did you breach? Did anyone care?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 32
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

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sboom :  *resounding applause* 

Say it louder for the people in the back, sister! <3 

Post # 33
Member
755 posts
Busy bee

I didn’t invite the SO of one of my guests because I couldn’t bear the thought of his smug abusive face being anywhere in my eyeline at any point in the day. 

It’s often said on here that not inviting the SO of someone is disrespecting their relationship whilst asking them to honour your own and to be brutally honest, that’s exactly what it was. I had no respect for their relationship because it was such a shit show. And I was damned if I was having the SO enjoying any of my hospitality. So he wasn’t invited. 

 

I also had a cash bar. But I’m a uk bee and I’ve never once seen a wedding without a cash bar

Post # 34
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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jellybellynelly :  “But I will say, you (as the bride/couple) are unlikely to hear anyone actually say anything bad about your wedding. People love to say “omg best wedding everrr!!” to your face and don’t want to also be rude by pointing out what rude things you did. They will just talk about them to other people “Omg, remember so-and-sos wedding where they did XYZ”. So just because no one said anything to your face doesnt mean people werent upset.”

haha exactly right about that! lol especially at a bride actually believing that no one knew that she n the groom were drinking the “good” champagne and only giving cheap wine to the guests!

Great thread for laughs and celebrating tackiness!  🙂

Post # 35
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m mostly just glad I’m in Australia. The weddings I’ve been to would horrify people on here. Maybe we’re just more laid back. 

Post # 37
Member
7395 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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therobinsparkles :  etiquette is about treating your guests well. If you don’t give a shit about your guests don’t invite them. 

Not bringing up what was rude at an event IS being respectful. 

Post # 38
Member
344 posts
Helper bee

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jellybellynelly :  I feel like a lot of people on this thread ARE treating their guests well and being respectful… the issue is that it goes against traditional etiquette and thus is deemed differently. I would love to be a guest at any of these bees weddings. Etiquette rules just don’t make sense, for example: free beer and wine is fine, but free beer and wine + cash liquor is tacky? It’s just nonsense. 

Post # 39
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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jellybellynelly :  you fail to appreciate cultural differences in regards to etiquette. American etiquette is not global etiquette. 

While you’re right no one would say anything to the bride’s face, if they themselves do the same at their wedding, I think it safe to assume they weren’t offended. Evening guests in the UK is a perfect example. I’ve never been to a wedding which didn’t have them and have been one myself several times. 

 

Post # 40
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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sboom :  I don’t think I know a single person that would say anything negative to a couple about their wedding. 
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jellybellynelly :  hit the nail on the head with her statement. I’m by no means an etiquette snob but some things are really rude/annoying to guests

*not enough seating: RUDE. I want to be able to sit down without playing musical chairs

*no +1s to SOs: unless your wedding is family only and super small I feel like it’s a rude and tacky way to cut costs

*asking for cash explicitly: MEGA eyeroll. 99% of people know you want cash (weddings are expensive) but not everyone wants to give money so you’re essentially saying anything else is not worth it. 

*semi cash bar: I think this is 100% fine!! Wine and beer make me happy and it’s a great compromise for budget conscious brides 

*helping set up shower:if someone is throwing you a party I don’t see a problem with helping set up at all. Why is this an etiquette issue?

Anyways… knowingly breaking etiquette that puts your guests comfort at risk are always rude. Just because people didn’t say it doesn’t mean they didn’t think it. 

Post # 41
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I committed the worst of etiquette sins: We skipped the bridal shower and had a stag and doe instead.

I guess I’m tacky *shrug*

I literally shuddered at the idea of sitting around opening wine glasses and bridal lingerie in front of my great aunts…. so, we threw a big party, had lots of drinks and a catered taco bar and yes…. our family and friends spent some of their money playing games to win some sweet prizes. 

I feel like it’s such a double standard that stag and does are considered poor etiquette, but wedding showers are perfectly acceptable…… 

* just over here awaiting World War 3 to begin over my response. *

Post # 42
Member
892 posts
Busy bee

Not specifically wedding related but where I live people throw their own baby showers or plan it with their moms/MILs or someone close. If you were to tell people it’s rude to plan their own baby shower they would look at you like you have a second head. Bridal showers really aren’t a thing here, idk anyone who has had one and I’ve never been invited to one so that doesn’t apply so much to planning your own bridal shower. Again it’s all about knowing your social circle.

Post # 43
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Omg we are breaking so many rules. But we are super laid back and so is our crowd. 

The ultimate etiquette sin: wedding is in March and we are already married. I needed health insurance. Our families and close friends know. We know our crowd and no one cares in the slightest. 

We are having a taco bar reception.

Open seating (though we will have more chairs than the amount of guests).

I really think it all depends on knowing your crowd. What might be rude or inconsiderate in some circles is totally acceteptable in others. 

Post # 44
Member
959 posts
Busy bee

I put our registry on the invitation. Although, the 4 weddings I’ve been invited to within the past 2 years have done the exact same thing, so either it’s becoming more acceptable in general, or it’s just a normal thing in my circle of people. There’s just no point wasting more paper for an “insert”, and I think it’s rude to expect guests to go hunting for the registry. I don’t think it’s gift grabby if the event is known for gifts to begin with. 

I also don’t see a problem with “cash only”….one way or another, you’re giving them cash. You can either limit the use of that cash by dictating what it should be spent on by buying the item yourself and giving said item, or you could just give them the cash you would have spent on that item. Either way, you’re out the same amount of cash…I’d rather the couple ask for what they actually want, rather than quietly accepting gifts they don’t really want/need (and wasting my time picking something out that they don’t want) just to please an etiquette rule. 

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