(Closed) For Fun: You at the beginning of planning vs you now

posted 4 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
2804 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My vision and budget are the same. I’ve just really lost any and all planning motivation. I was all about anything and everything wedding in the beginning. It’s been a two year engagement and all materials for my DIY are sitting in the basement not even started. Its four months out and I crazy amounts to do. 

Post # 3
Member
471 posts
Helper bee

When I started planning my wedding I wanted to be the DIY queen!  i quickly realized this was going to cost me about the same as just paying someone to do it for me. I could bake my own cake (without knowing how it was going to come out), rent the venue (and be in charge of cleaning up), buy the food (and prepare it somehow?), do all my own flowers (possible, but I wanted them fresh so i wouldn’t have had time in the morning), make all the decorations (and set them up, at this point where was the time for that!) all for about $6,000… it was beginning to be too much so I just went with an all inclusive venue for $4,000 and it saved me so much time and stress! 

DIY weddings are so unique and beautiful but I quickly found out it wasn’t for me! This is a great thread btw I love it! It’s like real life vs. expectations ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 4
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I have a lot less hair now. Oh, it’s growing… But I’m pretty sure stress has caused it to fall out, and I’ve pulled a ton out ๐Ÿ˜‚

Post # 5
Member
6264 posts
Bee Keeper

Before – “oh we are just having a small wedding fuss free wedding and a meal at our local restaurant” 

Now – “darling, do you think it matters that the font colour on our invites are dark grey instead of navy?”

Post # 6
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’m pretty sure I’ve developed an ulcer or two. 

I began and still am of the mindset that we will have a small & simple wedding for little $. What’s giving me issues is just actually planning the thing and handling all the family members that MUST invite people. Luckily my fiancé is level headed and keeps me from going roo crazy. 

Post # 7
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

OMG! I wish I knew then what I know now! I was just talking to my Fiance about this last night actually. When we got engaged, I wasn’t super into the bee yet so I didn’t go through all of the posts and do research. If I could go back, I would probably get a less expensive ring. Don’t get me wrong, I love my ring but there are so many other options that I didn’t look at then. I would probably have gotten a moissy. And when it comes to planning the wedding, I would have taken a completely different look at it. Probably still done a destination wedding but I would have saved more for it and done more internal planning before involving other vendors. I’m 163 days out and I feel like one hot mess.

And the original plan was for us to have a giant formal wedding. (So happy I didn’t do that lol) I started planning it, realized it was too much and went for a Destination Wedding instead. I’m so happy I did. But I would probably have changed some ways that I was looking at things, like invites and the website. So much knowledge now, completely wasted lol

Post # 8
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

1st daughter’s wedding went miraculously well. RSVPs were collected, through their wedding website; 248 of 250 were received, 10 days before the due date.

2nd daughter’s wedding – still waiting to hear from some of groom’s side, a year and a half later. They seem to be of the “acceptances only” school of thought. Then 3 cancelled and 1 was a no-show = $$$.

Post # 10
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I had no idea the level of detail that went into planning a wedding. I was so obsessed with getting the best diamond for my FI’s money and comparing them to rings on the bee. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have been so focused on that. I have a beautiful .62ct diamond, but I was so obsessed with colour, ct and clarity. No one and I mean NO ONE in real life has asked me any of those stats, so could have gotten bigger and gone down in colour a little and had more fun with the design.

I also would have chosen to get married at the end of this year to set ourselves up better financially. I am actually quite embarrassed how I allowed the bee to influence my decisions in the beginning. So any newly engaged bees or waiting bees take note. It is very easy to get caught up in the excitement, but in the outside/real worl a lot of these things are really insignificant and your love and future with your Fiance is what truly matters. 

Post # 11
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Oh man! Well, right off the bat I was super excited about getting married but kind of jaded about how expensive a wedding was going to be. The first few months I managed to keep us right on budget.

But then life happened. As the year went by we kept having extended family members reach out and beg for invites. We relented because we thought “we’ll make it work since we’re actually below budget”….wow what a mistake that was! Now we are way over budget and I’ve exhausted all my savings all because we didn’t just say no.

 

Post # 12
Member
9425 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I went through stages.. I actually took 3 weeks off (I’m a student working on my dissertation, so I can do that on a whim..) and planned the entire wedding in one go.

So my stages were:

Right before the 3 weeks/as they started: Oh I can have THIS florist and THIS wedding planner and THIS DJ ๐Ÿ˜€

As the 3 weeks went on: Holy crap HOW much?  No way.. OR: Ah you’re booked already? My wedding isnt for another 14 months!

Towards the end of the 3 weeks: I’m gonna call you, we’re gonna talk, and by the end of the phone call I will either offer you the job or move on.  Stop assuming I’m going to take months to decide, I want to get back to work!!! (Lol, the last few vendors I booked were all SHOCKED when I was like “ok, send me the contract and I’ll get you the deposit tonight”) without ever having met them in person. (I didn’t meet any of my vendors in person before booking them because teh wedding isnt in the same state I’m in).

And now: la-dee-da I don’t care. ๐Ÿ™‚  Everything is taken care of, what is there to get anxious about?  Honestly, the only thing that makes me anxious is Future Mother-In-Law.  She constantly has 300 worries about the wedding and the rehearsal (which she informed us she was going to host) so whenever I actually see her (luckily not often) I get bombarded with anxious questions.  Aside from that, I’m cool as a cucumber.

Post # 13
Member
3523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

At the beginning, 6 weeks ago: This is so much fun! So many options. What colors should we pick? Ooh, let’s make invitations! I want it to be small, but we can still do aunts and uncles… What about a brunch wedding! We can have a waffle bar! 

 

And now…: To my Future Mother-In-Law last night who asked how planning was coming, “It’s not. Honestly, I hate it and I don’t want to do it. I think I’m done. We’re gonna pick a spot on the beach in the morning, then go to lunch after.” She was so upset and freaked lol. She wanted to know about my bouquet, the isle, beach permits. I said “No…. See, we are eloping but inviting you along. That’s how I see it. And this is most likely your invitation.” 

She was not happy, but my Fiance chimed in that he wanted to elope alone, but that I insisted immediate family be there. So at least she can’t hate me too much lol because she is lucky there’s anything at all.

Post # 14
Hostess
11050 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Great thread, love it!

Post # 15
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

At first I was all like “YAY a fun project and so much time to get it all done! I have so many ideas!”

But now (14 months into my engagement) my wedding planning motto is “I’d rather not be involved in this decision”

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