- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2008
Are you married to a student of some sort? Dental, pharmacy, nursing, graduate, medical, PA, or other? I have said/seen/done things in the past 5 months since Darling Husband started med school that I never thought I would…
You know you’re married to a medical student when:
1) Your SO brings home a real human skull in a cardboard box (complete with oily stains on it) and leaves it on his desk for a week to study. Then, you go into the office to collect his coffee cup and cereal bowl one morning and accidently nudge the real human skull with the bowl and one of the teeth falls out.
2) Your SO wants to practice “percussion sounds” on your chest, as well as feeling for your liver. Then, he proceeds to try to find your liver, pokes you in a VERY tender part of your ribs and when you yelp in pain he looks at you with fear and tells you “YOUR LIVER IS ENLARGED AND IT’S PAINFUL, THAT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN” and you try to tell him “no, I think you got my rib”..then 2 minutes later he tries again, doesn’t poke you in the rib and realizes you’re not in pain, he says “oh, wait. Your liver isn’t enlarged. I must have hit your rib”
3) He points to an area on your dog and tells you “that’s where his filets would be” and proceeds to graphically illustrate exactly WHICH muscle the filet comes from…almost ruining steak for you forever.
4) Brings home a lab coat reeking of formaldehyde and off-putting bodily stains from the anatomy lab and when you try to wash it, it leaves such a strong formaldehyde scent in your washer and dryer, you have to run an empty wash full of bleach just to try to get rid of the smell.
5) He excitedly tells you “if you’re ever alone and choking and can’t get it out, you can make a small inscision here (points to area in lower neck) and insert a pen. It’s an emergency tracheotomy”. Then, he acts appalled and sort of disappointed when you say “there is no way in hell I would do that to myself. You’d just find me dead if it came to that”. Then, a few minutes later he tells you matter-of-factly “I’ve put a sterile scalpel blade and an empty pen tube in the first aid kit in case of emergency. All good first aid kits should have one”.
Oh…what an adventure it has been. What does your student SO tell you/teach you/advise you to do that you find yourself thinking “oh my god…this is not normal!”
If only I could retaliate with odd learnings from my own graduate studies. But at this point I think I could only bore him to death with research about intercultural communication strategies and technical writing…