Post # 1
So after getting an unwelcome visit from Aunt Flo yesterday I was thinking about what I would say to her if she was a real person and I could actually express my frustrations and I thought other bees might also benefit from some imaginary venting lol
So I’ll go first:
I would say to her “Aunt Flo I never asked you to visit this month and to be honest I would have been a lot happier if you’d just stayed away! And not only do you keep showing up uninvited, the whole time you’re here I feel uncomfortable and emotional!”
Post # 3
@Katchin: probably, “GO AWAY!!!”, then I’d get a restraining order lol
Post # 4
“Leave me the hell alone. I am a great mom to Dirty Delete and would love another and your visit is stopping me from continuing to build my happy family. I didn’t like seeing you during our first TTC struggle with Dirty Delete so what makes me think I want to see you again.”
Post # 5
“Oh, hey, thanks for letting me know I’m not pregnant. Now go. the. hell. away. You make me bipolar and turn me into a crying mess. I don’t want kids anyway. B!tch.”
Post # 7
@Katchin: Ugh I’m sick of you! I’m no longer interested in a relationship with you, please stop calling me psyco!
Post # 8
Thank you for finally staying away!
Post # 9
I’d straight up tell the disgusting bitch to fuck off. I don’t need her! I never asked my body to be able to get pregnant, I never want to. So I’d rather she just take her stuff and move out for good haha.
Post # 10
@Katchin: This crazy psyco showed up at my house again yesterday! Aunt Flo, I have tons of great plans for the next couple of days. Why the fuck are you visiting AGAIN?!?!
Post # 11
I hate you I hate you I hate you! Just kidding. But I really do 🙂
Post # 12
Dear Aunt Flow,
I’m sure you have notice the newfound tension in our relationship. My whole life you made a point at showing up at the most inopportune times. Remember the time you walked in on me having sex with a new boyfriend? Yeah, I could never forget that either. I spent most of my teenaged and early adult years worried about when you would show up and nervous everytime you were late. You never cared about my needs.
Aunt Flow, I have decided that we need to take a break. I would like to spend some time apart for the next 9 months to see what great things I can accomplish without you. I’m sure you will have a place in my life sometime in the future — we are, afterall, bonded by blood — but I feel we definitely need some time apart.
Dear Aunt Flow,
I see you have ignored my last letter. You are a horrid, dreadful, cunty, tuna-kootered biotch and I hate you.
Post # 13
@GrannyPantiesRock: LOL, perfectly worded!
Post # 14
Dear Aunt Flo- I know we haven’t really communicated in 2012, my birth control pills were AWESOME and I never saw you. Well, my insurance stopped covering them, so I got the Mirena. I know you must not be happy with a T shaped stick of awesome hormones, but you don’t have to come every two weeks for the next 3 months. I’ve dealt with you for 3 months already. Give it a break. I’ll be much happier with you visiting every 5 weeks. That’s cool with me. You can lessen the PMS a tad bit. Mr.Z31 isn’t really happy with your frequent and intense visits. You’re welcome to come back in 5 years.
P.S. Please stop throwing my eggs away. I want those someday. By the time you’re done I might not have any. That’s not cool.
Post # 15
Couldn’t you just send emails? Why cause me pain? Even a text would suffice.