Post # 1
This might be a silly question, but, I come from a country where stay at home moms are pretty uncommon. At least where I am from (I guess those are more common among the *richer* people). I am sure some moms are at home, but in most cases not by choice. In the social circle where I am from (small town middle class-ish), you either work or you are unemployed… 🙂
So, naturally, I am a bit curious, since I would love to be a stay at home mom myself later on if it will be financially possible. My SO is OK with this. I guess it will get more and more common around here too, when we get more and more infuences from the USA.
For how many years does a stay at home mom normally stay at home? What does a sahm do? Is your kid home ALL day? Or do you have them part time at day care just for social stimulation? Or do you go to other activities?
What is your *work*? Clean the house? Make dinner? Play with kids? Educate them?
Feel free to tell me everything I should know about this! 🙂
Post # 2
Every Stay-At-Home Mom is different. The ones I know spend their days caring for their kids, volunteering, cooking, cleaning, running errands, etc. The ones I know also tend to be from the “it takes a village” camp, so while they run their kids to and fro they also tend to pick up a stray kid or two and cart them to and fro if needed – which means they spend more time running around because they pitch in and help out the kids and families who have two working parents. There are SAHMs who have a nanny and a housekeeper and spend their day at the gym and nail salon, but I feel like that’s only a small number.
Many SAHMs find it hard to re-enter the work force once their children have grown. Even if they’ve kept up their professional qualifiications, they lack the professional connections that someone of their maturity would normally have. My husband’s client just told me that his wife went back to work after raising their children. She is a CPA and joined a small firm once the kids were older.
Post # 3
bibilicious : Everyone is different. My mom was a Stay-At-Home Mom, and my dad was self employeed. My mom took care of raising us kids, taking care of the house, and as well got older shuttling us between all of her activities. She also did the books (from home) for my dad’s business. We did have a cleaning lady as I got older though. She went back to work when we were 10 & 13 after my parents got divorced, otherwise I assume she would have continued to stay home.
With my friends, I’ve found the Stay-At-Home Mom role to be more vital as the kids are older – espeically if they are active or if one parent has a demanding job. My BFF’s Darling Husband is in the same profession as mine and they travel A LOT for work. If she worked outside the home I’m not sure how she’d do it. Her kids are now in middle and elementary school and it’s a full time job getting them to and from school, to all their pratices, games, comps, homework, etc.
Basically every Stay-At-Home Mom I know takes care of the home, does the grocery shopping, cleaning, daytime childcare, etc.
Post # 4
I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom by choice to a 1 yr old. We go to a couple of mommy and me type classes a week (gym, music, swimming, etc.), story times and play dates. We run errands and I do all of our housework, laundry, cooking, etc. My husband works a pretty demanding job and does some traveling, so I take care of pretty much everything else. I even shop for him, book appointments for him, etc. On the weekends, we split the care of our daughter and spend time as a family. I get all of the housework and errands out of the way during the week, so we have more time to enjoy ourselves on the weekends. Our situation works pretty well for us. I only leave my daughter with a babysitter for my hair appointments every few weeks and the occasional date night with my husband. I worked as a nanny previously, so rejoining the workforce should not be an issue for me, but I don’t plan on going back to work anytime soon. We don’t need the money and there isn’t any other way I’d rather spend my days than with my daughter. She’s amazing and the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Post # 5
I stay home with my twins, and I intend to go back to work when they start preschool, which will be around age 3. I’d say roughly 2-3 days a week we go out somewhere (children’s museum, aquarium, zoo, a park) and the rest we stay in and play. My living room pretty much looks like a daycare center.
Maybe this is controversial (maybe not, I dunno) but I absolutely don’t do all the housework. I run around after toddlers all day, shit if that isn’t a job. So Darling Husband and I split the cleaning, I do a little more since I have their nap free but it’s close to even. We alternate on who goes to the grocery store, and we cook together. It’s fair to us, he only had to spend the day alone with them once to realize my job was just as taxing as his, no reason I should do all the chores too. I imagine if he worked a physically demanding job or crazy-long hours we’d probably have to reevaluate that. If my kids were in school I’d certainly want to do more, but when they’re in school I’ll go back to work, so it’s a moot point. Hope that helps!