OK, I’ll share. Please, don’t think I’m a witch…but I have to finally get this off my chest and it’s not going to be nice to hear or say but I’m going to be brutally honest. Could have been worse, but:
My Bridesmaid or Best Man (let’s call her M), agreed to meet us (me, Maid/Matron of Honor, my stepmom, two other BMs at a hotel so we could all get ready in a suite, and have our hair and makeup girls come and work on those who wanted hair and/or makeup.) Then the limo would pick us all up, plus my dad and bring us to the venue. We planned to meet at 9:30, hair and makeup will arrive at 10, limo at 2pm.
The night before when I got the room assignment, I texted M (who did NOT attend the bachelorette day the others all attended that day before, we all went to a spa and had massages and mani/pedis and lunch, nor did she attend the rehearsal dinner I had catered at our house that night. Keep in mind that she lives only 10 mins from me. My Maid/Matron of Honor came 1200 miles, one Bridesmaid or Best Man came 1000 miles, one came 100 miles and the other came from about 50 miles away. All were there for the bachelorette spa day, the rehearsal dinner and the brunch the day after the wedding–except M who only attended the wedding. Barely…) and told her that we would be meeting at 9:30 am in room 327 at the Hampton Inn XYZ City.
The next morning, we girls happily met up at the hotel, opened a bottle of champagne, toasted and started hair and makeup. I started texting M at about 10:00, wondering where she was. No response. Called. No response. 20 texts/calls later, at about 11:00 I get a call back from M, sounding like she just barely opened her eyes. “Hello, M where ARE YOU! Are you ok??”
“I just woke up, you didn’t text me til after I went to bed last night and I didn’t know what time you wanted to meet.”
***BULLSHIT #1. I had been emailing/calling/texting ALL the girls with every detail of the intinerary, I’m a super planner. This, all except the room #, was set far, far in advance. I had booked her hair and makeup slot for her 2 months before. Confirmed a week before. She knew, she just didn’t bother to set her alarm. Nice.
M: “OK yes I still want hair and makeup, can they do everyone else first? I’m on my way, I will be there in 30 minutes!”. (which would bring her to 11:30, 2 hrs late but workable).
Me, slightly annoyed but understanding: “Sure, ok see you in a few”.
More texts/calls because it’s now 12:00, she is 30 mins later than she said again, and MIA. At 12:30 she calls and says, “I’m knocking on the door of room 327, no one is answering”.
Me: “We are all in here, no one is knocking”.
After 5 mins of confusion she says, “well I’m at the XYZ City Hotel, room 327 like you said.”
Me: “UMM NO!!! I SAID THE HAMPTON INN XYZ CITY NOT THE XYZ CITY HOTEL!!!!”
She was at the WRONG HOTEL. Luckily her husband didn’t leave yet so she had him drive her over to the right hotel (remember, she had ALL THIS INFO in her emails and texts) and arrived at 12:45, 3 hrs and 15 mins late. Hair and makeup artist had to leave, they were done with all of us and had another event, they were only supposed to be with us until 12:30. So ok, I think–we will just help her do her own hair/makeup, no biggie, right?
WRONG. She rolled in, literally like she just rolled out of bed in dirty sweatpants and a grimy t-shirt. With dirty, smelly hair (she has long, mid-back length hair). Seriously, she couldn’t bother taking a shower for my wedding????? WTF!!! I mean, she’s IN MY WEDDING PARTY!
Me: “Ok, let’s help you get it together, we have one hour til the limo leaves. Where is your makeup?”
M: “I didn’t bring any.”
Me: “Ok, let’s start with hair–I’m sure we can rustle up some makeup. Grab your hairbrush.”
M: “I didn’t bring it”
Me: Internally seething, trying not to ruin MY makeup or wedding dress with tears of frustration or the blood of a Bridesmaid or Best Man…”OK….”
Bridesmaid or Best Man named “J” steps in, takes matters into her hands, uses her makeup and hairbrush, and luckily had a pretty hair piece to help hold M’s hair in a bun. But really, I felt terrible because just before the limo came J pulled me aside in the bathroom (I needed help peeing, my dress, remember? Plus I’ve known J sicne we were 5 LOL) and said, “OMG I am going to sound mean but I’m saying this, EEEEWWW! M’s hair is gross, it is greasy and smells! and really dandruffy…I have to wash my hands before I touch your dress, her hair is that bad and I don’t want to get your dress messed up”.
I swear to God this is all true. I just couldn’t believe it, I was shocked, annoyed, and mostly–hurt. I mean really! You don’t care enough about your so-called friend’s wedding that you could set your FREAKING ALARM CLOCK? To get up at a decent hour? It’s not like I asked her to be there at 6am, 9:30 is NOT that early! And she didn’t roll out of be until after 11 anyway! And you can’t even SHOWER???? UGH.
Needless to say, I have really separated myself from my friendship with M. Still never said anything to her about it–really, what would I say anyway?
UGH. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest, I hope I didn’t sound too mean.