(Closed) For my own amusement… bridesmaidzilla stories!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9083 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m not a bridezilla, but my mother is a momzilla. She’s seriously driving me up the wall, because I’m a pretty laid back woman. If something goes wrong, my response is generally, “so?”

I just got married via Justice of the Peace wedding, but my family and my new inlaws and I have been planning our formal wedding in June. While they were out here for the ceremony, we all sat down and discussed some vital things that needed to be done. Well, our parents had visited a DJ who, while I don’t doubt is excellent at his job, isn’t for my husband and I. We’re both gamers who are pretty no-frills relaxed. This guy was very “hoity toity”, very pretentious, does things very romantic, and flowery, and all sorts of well, beautiful, I guess.

Example: During the couple’s first dance, he (softly, I’d imagine) plays a pre-recorded version of the couple’s vows over the song for them to dance to.

Husband and I looked at each other, laughed, and goes, “That’s stupid.”

My mother was the first to set off, telling me that I didn’t undestand all the work he puts into the editing, and how beautiful it would be, and how all eyes would be on us and it would be touching and… so on and so forth.

My response was a big, fat, Simpsons “Meh.”

My mother-in-law was the second to go off, saying that even if we didn’t want this guy to DJ for us, we’d still need someone to keep the mood going, which hubs and I both wholeheartedly agree. So, when we suggested just someone to keep people “warmed up” so to speak, and keep music going, she lost it, saying that we might as well hook an ipod up to a set of speakers.

Our response? “Good idea.”

My mother is worse than his, but they’re both definitely momzillas.

Also, my mother hates one of my bridesmaids and keeps trying to talk me out of it.

Post # 4
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Hyperventilate:  You are my kind of woman! 🙂 

Edit: I mean that more women should be as laid back as you, ha! 😛

Post # 6
Member
9083 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@jessmicas:  Husband is way more laid back than I am (Which is hard to imagine), but we both don’t let things bother us. I’m not worried about the wedding going absolutely on the dime perfect. I’m going to have a good time no matter what happens (Sans venue burning down?) and I know our guests, who are close friends and family, are going to do the same. It’s so easy to stress out about the little stuff, so.. we don’t. I love it!

@Rachel631:  My father in law, bless his heart is amazing. As we were talking, he’d gently take her hand and go, “Mother in law, this is our son and her wedding. I know what you would like, but this is about them, not you. You had your wedding.” I have the best in laws, I swear.

My mother… however. I feel badly for my husband who married the little woman with the insane mother. 😉

Post # 8
Member
934 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Rachel631:  Oh my god. That sounds like a nightmare. I’m so lucky that my bridesmaids are laid back and lovely people. 

There is a bit of a scuffle right now regarding a bachelorette for me between a friend and my Maid/Matron of Honor but I am staying sooooo far away from it. 

Post # 10
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

OK, I’ll share.  Please, don’t think I’m a witch…but I have to finally get this off my chest and it’s not going to be nice to hear or say but I’m going to be brutally honest. Could have been worse, but:

My Bridesmaid or Best Man (let’s call her M), agreed to meet us (me, Maid/Matron of Honor, my stepmom, two other BMs at a hotel so we could all get ready in a suite, and have our hair and makeup girls come and work on those who wanted hair and/or makeup.) Then the limo would pick us all up, plus my dad and bring us to the venue.  We planned to meet at 9:30, hair and makeup will arrive at 10, limo at 2pm.

The night before when I got the room assignment, I texted M (who did NOT attend the bachelorette day the others all attended that day before, we all went to a spa and had massages and mani/pedis and lunch, nor did she attend the rehearsal dinner I had catered at our house that night.  Keep in mind that she lives only 10 mins from me.  My Maid/Matron of Honor came 1200 miles, one Bridesmaid or Best Man came 1000 miles, one came 100 miles and the other came from about 50 miles away.  All were there for the bachelorette spa day, the rehearsal dinner and the brunch the day after the wedding–except M who only attended the wedding.  Barely…) and told her that we would be meeting at 9:30 am in room 327 at the Hampton Inn XYZ City. 

The next morning, we girls happily met up at the hotel, opened a bottle of champagne, toasted and started hair and makeup.  I started texting M at about 10:00, wondering where she was. No response.  Called. No response.  20 texts/calls later, at about 11:00 I get a call back from M, sounding like she just barely opened her eyes.  “Hello, M where ARE YOU! Are you ok??”

“I just woke up, you didn’t text me til after I went to bed last night and I didn’t know what time you wanted to meet.”

***BULLSHIT #1.  I had been emailing/calling/texting ALL the girls with every detail of the intinerary, I’m a super planner.  This, all except the room #, was set far, far in advance.  I had booked her hair and makeup slot for her 2 months before.  Confirmed a week before.  She knew, she just didn’t bother to set her alarm.  Nice.

M: “OK yes I still want hair and makeup, can they do everyone else first? I’m on my way, I will be there in 30 minutes!”. (which would bring her to 11:30, 2 hrs late but workable).

Me, slightly annoyed but understanding: “Sure, ok see you in a few”.

More texts/calls because it’s now 12:00, she is 30 mins later than she said again, and MIA.  At 12:30 she calls and says, “I’m knocking on the door of room 327, no one is answering”. 

Me: “We are all in here, no one is knocking”.

After 5 mins of confusion she says, “well I’m at the XYZ City Hotel, room 327 like you said.”

Me: “UMM NO!!! I SAID THE HAMPTON INN XYZ CITY NOT THE XYZ CITY HOTEL!!!!”

She was at the WRONG HOTEL.  Luckily her husband didn’t leave yet so she had him drive her over to the right hotel (remember, she had ALL THIS INFO in her emails and texts) and arrived at 12:45, 3 hrs and 15 mins late.  Hair and makeup artist had to leave, they were done with all of us and had another event, they were only supposed to be with us until 12:30.  So ok, I think–we will just help her do her own hair/makeup, no biggie, right?

WRONG.  She rolled in, literally like she just rolled out of bed in dirty sweatpants and a grimy t-shirt.  With dirty, smelly hair (she has long, mid-back length hair).  Seriously, she couldn’t bother taking a shower for my wedding????? WTF!!! I mean, she’s IN MY WEDDING PARTY!

Me: “Ok, let’s help you get it together, we have one hour til the limo leaves. Where is your makeup?”

M: “I didn’t bring any.”

Me: “Ok, let’s start with hair–I’m sure we can rustle up some makeup.  Grab your hairbrush.”

M: “I didn’t bring it”

Me: Internally seething, trying not to ruin MY makeup or wedding dress with tears of frustration or the blood of a Bridesmaid or Best Man…”OK….”

Bridesmaid or Best Man named “J” steps in, takes matters into her hands, uses her makeup and hairbrush, and luckily had a pretty hair piece to help hold M’s hair in a bun.  But really, I felt terrible because just before the limo came J pulled me aside in the bathroom (I needed help peeing, my dress, remember? Plus I’ve known J sicne we were 5 LOL) and said, “OMG I am going to sound mean but I’m saying this, EEEEWWW!  M’s hair is gross, it is greasy and smells! and really dandruffy…I have to wash my hands before I touch your dress, her hair is that bad and I don’t want to get your dress messed up”.

I swear to God this is all true.  I just couldn’t believe it, I was shocked, annoyed, and mostly–hurt.  I mean really!  You don’t care enough about your so-called friend’s wedding that you could set your FREAKING ALARM CLOCK? To get up at a decent hour? It’s not like I asked her to be there at 6am, 9:30 is NOT that early!  And she didn’t roll out of be until after 11 anyway!  And you can’t even SHOWER???? UGH. 

Needless to say, I have really separated myself from my friendship with M.  Still never said anything to her about it–really, what would I say anyway?

UGH.  Thanks for letting me get that off my chest, I hope I didn’t sound too mean.

Post # 12
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

All right, here’s mine.  It’s more a MOH-zilla story.

About 4 years ago I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my sorority sister’s wedding.  Her sister was Maid/Matron of Honor and was ‘in charge’ of us Bridesmaid or Best Man. (Really?  We weren’t in kindergarten!)

There were 5 Bridesmaid or Best Man + the Maid/Matron of Honor.  The Maid/Matron of Honor went and picked out Bridesmaid or Best Man for us – without any of us having any input.  When I asked the bride about it, she said that it would have been too hard to get all of us together so she just asked her sister to pick something out.  The dress was $350 and it wasn’t flattering on anyone except her. We also had to get the matching dyed shoes (does anyone do that anymore?).

What was so weird with this was that the Maid/Matron of Honor was more critical about the details than the actual bride was.  I should say, I think these were all details that the bride wanted, but she didn’t have the nerve to tell us so she made her sister the bad guy since most of us did not know her.

She wanted the Bridesmaid or Best Man to look like clones.  We all had to have the same up do.  We all had to have the same nail polish and jewelry (which we had to buy ourselves).  She wanted us to all buy the same purse (which was $80) but we finally started to speak up.  So the only thing she backed down on was the purse.  We didn’t want to look like clones so we secretly said on the wedding day we were all going to do our own hair.

Then we were expected to contribute hundreds of dollars to her 3 bridal showers and bachelorette party.  Oh yeah, we needed to bring a gift to each party too.

On the wedding day itself, we all went to the same salon to get our hair done as it was made very clear to us that’s what we were expected to do.  The Maid/Matron of Honor had already spoken with the stylists about all of us having the same up do.  Fortunately, the stylists thought she was kind of kooky so they said they would do similar up dos but not make them identical.  That’s when the Maid/Matron of Honor lost it.  Right in the salon she started screaming at the stylists because she figured out what was going on (her appointment was before ours so she could ‘supervise’ us).  She almost got kicked out of the salon.

The worst part was I had forgotten those horrible dyed shoes at my apartment!  I called my boyfriend and begged him to bring them to the brides house (an hour away!) and we wound up being late for the ceremony because of that.  I never heard the end of it.

She Maid/Matron of Honor gave her speech at the dinner and mentioned how she was in charge of ‘babysitting’ the bridal party and how she was so happy that we all behaved.  People laughed because they thought she was kidding.  And of course she mentioned how I forgot my shoes.  Yeah, so now the bride has that on tape forever.

I was never so glad for that wedding to be over.  I no longer keep in touch with the bride.

Post # 13
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

One of my brown-eyed bridesmaids just insisted that I change my wedding colors (light blue dress). It didn’t match her eyes. Yeah. 

Even better? She wanted navy and turquoise instead of light blue and gold. 

She also insisted I was being a bridezilla for asking her to wear natural makeup instead of the dark, heavy electric blue eyeliner that she told me her friend calls her “whore makeup.” [insert massive eyeroll]

Post # 14
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@sehrler:  Uhh good grief.  I think I’ll sticky note this experience in my brain.  My lovely ladies will get 1 call/text to remind and 1 text/call to follow-up if they are en route and if they don’t show they don’t show.

Post # 15
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My SIL was a complete brat at every wedding-related occasion and at the wedding, threw a fit during the reception, claimed to be sick, etc. She is the most self-centered person and does anything to get attention on her. 

She didn’t ruin the day but I haven’t forgiven her yet. 

 

Oh! How could I forget the rehearsal dinner where she insisted we invite her latest bf (whom we never met). They weren’t even exactly “dating” and when Darling Husband said that, she whipped out her phone and tried to put it on Facebook to make it “official”. It scares me that she is part of the future of America.

Post # 16
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@jo.lee:  OMG I thought you were joking!

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