(Closed) For or against? Bridesmaids picking their own dresses

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@FutureMrsT1221:  I am for it! I am adding more structure to the process by picking the designer, fabric and color, but they can pick whichever style they prefer.

My sister is currently a Bridesmaid or Best Man for a bride that only assigned a color and a type of fabric, and she has commented on how stressful the process is because the bride wasn’t being clear about what she wants (but has been vetoing suggestions by the BMs). Additionally, the bride suddenly started hounding my sister to buy her dress this month, and the wedding isn’t until May. To be clear, the dress isn’t a typical bridesmaid dress so it’s just being ordered from a department store – no wait time. In the end, my sister ended up buying a dress that the bride suggested…soooo not really sure why the bride let her “choose.”

So my best advice is to be clear and honest about what you want from your BMs! I think the mismatched styles are a great look. 

Post # 4
11105 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@FutureMrsT1221: In a way I wish I had done this. It’s dis-heartening for all brides I think I can speak for, that you know those Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses that you love and bought aren’t going to get worn again. 

Post # 5
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Love it. I did this but I only have two girls & they chose the same dress. (We went shopping together). I also said same fabric- be it satin or chiffon. 

Post # 6
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If my bridal party was bigger I would be for them choosing their own dress but I only have 2 ladies in my party AND I am paying for their dresses. They do get to choose their own shoes/accessories.

If I were you I’d at least give them a fabric type and maybe be a little more specific with what you mean by “long”. Long can mean tea lenght, floor length, ankle length…

Post # 9
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

I plan on giving them the color, fabric and site to choose from. They can pick whichever one they want but I want the colors to be exact. I think it is really cute to have mis-matching styles, they will be comfortable in style and price. 

Post # 10
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’m probably backwards on this now-a-days.  But, I picked out the dress, and they all matched. BUT… I considered all the ladies body types, and it was under 100, and they can wear black shoes of their choice.

I know there are so many really cool pictures of ladies with the mismatched dress thing.  But most of those are online, and when you read the details, in actual fact they all had the dresses custom made (or some other expensive thing).  Not that that happens all the time.

I have just personally seen some really awful combinations of dresses in real life weddings I have been too.  One wedding, they were all pretty much matched except the one girl who looked like she was a wedding guest standing up near the bride instead of a bridesmaid.  It was weird.  Or their was the girl who you could tell wanted to be the bride….all the girls were in shades of pink, but she was in such a light shade of blush, she looked like bride number two.  Wonder if the bride knew about that before her wedding day?

Also, from the wedding I was in, it took me soooooo long to find something that had the requirements that the bride asked for.  I barely found one, and it was missing one of the requirements.  (i could have found one if i spent over 400).


So, yeah, just my humble opinion.

Post # 11
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m not really letting them pick, but I am asking for their input and allowing them to veto it. In the end, it’s my wedding and pictures and I think it’s pretty normal to understand you might end up buying a dress you never will wear again (more likely than not). However, I’m trying to keep the budget much lower so I have to think outside the box and not necessarily get something that’s a regular bridesmaid dress. Right now, I’m looking at one of those infinity dresses from etsy – it’s $60, comes with the matching bandeau, and can be worn in enough ways that they will be able to choose how they look, but still match each other. The fabric of traditional bm dresses is just different, I don’t own any dresses in those fabrics and I don’t think I ever would, so no matter what, a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress for me will never get worn again. But, an infinity dress can be worn again. We’re also looking into dresses from renttherunway.com and department stores.

Post # 14
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@FutureMrsT1221:  What’s Soffee?

This is the one I ordered in mint:


Came out to $59 after shipping. The store had only excellent reviews. And the material was a viscose/spandex blend.

I ordered one dress and she said she could get it to me by Dec. It’s a one size fits all dress (as it should be, at least the more expensive ones are like that, too). I’m going to check out the fabric and play around with it when I get it and see if my BMs like it.

Post # 16
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m a big fan of getting a price point and finding a collection from a designer that you know will look good together.  Just be aware you could end up having all but one person have the same dress and if it’s not the Maid/Matron of Honor it looks weird.  If you want the mismatched looked I say go for it.  If you’re just not sure I say take everyone shopping and see how it goes.  I had 5 very different BMs who all ended up loving the same dress seperately from a collection I loved and they all ended up matching even though I would have been ok with mismacthed as well! 

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