(Closed) For People Who Hated Being a Bridesmaid

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1159 posts
Bumble bee

You haven’t mentioned anything about the cost of the make up etc. Is it clear on who is paying for it?

Post # 5
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I didn’t hate being a Bridesmaid or Best Man but I will contribute.

I like your email a lot. Tone is fine.

I only have two girls and I’m pretty laid back so I was thinking of doing what you’re doing with dresses, but my problem is that I don’t want them to have to argue with each other. Do you know if they are close? If not, what if they are both dead set on different dresses in different colors, and one tries to pursuade the other? That’s why I’ve decided to pick a color and length. I like the idea of them in the same dress with a different shade, but I don’t want either one to feel pressured. If you dont’ think this will be a problem then don’t worry. Just my thought.

Shoe part is fine. I normally get annoyed when brides pick shoes but you’re being pretty flexible overall so I think it’s fine.

Are you paying for hair and makeup? I would love my girls to have a day of beauty with me but I can’t require it since I can’t shell out the $$. I do understand if you did it for them, but I still don’t think it should be required.

Post # 6
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@sharontobemarried:  +1. That was the only thing that stood out to me. If they’re paying for the grooming, maybe attach the price list.  

Otherwise, I find it super reasonable. I’d also probably say something in the beginning about how this is the only email so it’s going to be long. That way they know that it’s not like.. part 1 in a multi-part series or something.

Post # 7
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

No. I don’t think it’s clear that you’re paying. You can just say something like, hair and makeup on me.

Post # 8
1159 posts
Bumble bee

@Overjoyed:  Not really. I think when it comes to any issues with money it’s best to be as clear as possible.

Post # 9
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Bubbles42:  +1

I think your email is great, and you are clearly trying to be flexible and make things easier for them.  However, it is possible that by being so flexible on the dresses you might be making it harder on them.  They might want some more direction (perhaps giving them a collection from which to pick their dress). Also do you have a preference for them wearing the same fabric?  Based on your guidelines there are just so many possible combinations for what they choose and it might be hard for them to figure it out together.

Obviously if your two maids are good friends themselves, it might not be an issue for them to coordinate, you know that best.  Just something to think about.

Post # 10
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ve never been a bridesmaid, but:

It sounds fine to me. I ended up just starting a Facebook group because I had five girls and wanted everyone to participate in the conversation, rather than having five responses and have to coordinate everything after the fact. It’s worked really well for us! I think the dress guidelines are fine; I originally told my girls to just find a light pink dress that they liked and could afford, and they actually asked for more guidelines. I ended up just giving them the link to chiffon bridesmaids dresses at Dressilyme and telling them that we were going with x color and to pick a dress from the 12 pages there. They were fine with that.

Post # 12
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Yeah I realized one of my girls wants a good amount of direction and the other may need it.

Post # 13
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Yeah I also couldn’t tell who was paying for the makeup. You could just say “I’ll be covering the ‘day of beauty’ blah blah blah…”

Nice work, very non-bridezilla!

Post # 14
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Overjoyed:  I think your email is great!  Agree with others that you may want to say you’re treating to the beauty treatments.  As it currently reads, I would be under the impression that I’d be paying and it might chafe if I’m already traveling.


Now for some totally unsolicited advice: with your color scheme, have you thought about a print (or prints) for your BMs?  I think, especially with just two ladies, that a floral print could be really pretty 🙂

Post # 16
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

I would just make sure with them each that they’re comfortable paying for the dresses first (your email implies that they’re buying). Other than that, looks good to go!

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