(Closed) For the bees who ring shopped with their man- how?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 62
5622 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

We never really went shopping together, per say. He originally asked me with a solitaire diamond family hierloom, which was beautiful, but not me. He told me I could go and pick out any ring I wanted. So every few months we’d go out and look – Took me months to find the perfect ring, one that wasn’t quite as traditional as other rings. I’m very picky, and he knows that, so me choosing my own ring wasn’t a big deal for him.

Post # 63
1845 posts
Buzzing bee

FI-to-be knows how fussy I am and also knows I’m one of those girls who has dreamed about getting engaged/married since I was very little.

He suggested we go and look at rings so that he knew what style of ring I wanted when he does decide to propose.

I’m really glad we did (as is he) as we initially had very different ideas. We eventually agreed on they style/size etc. and then I went and change my mind, so he had it custom made. Being the pain in the ass I am, I think I’ve changed my mind back to what we both chose in the first place – something he is being so lovely about – he just wants me to love the ring.

I think shopping together can be a really fun and intimate experience, but (as in my situation) if you’re not really sure what you want, it can get complicated.

Post # 64
21 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

In my situation, my fiance said pretty much, “Hey I want to marry you,” (with other lovely details added). After a few months with that idea in my head, I let him know that the engagement ring is a big deal. As in, most girls wear that thing forever and just add a wedding band to it. I think a lot of guys don’t understand that. In the past, the engagement ring was just that, then you get another ring to signify marriage. I find it weird that a lot of girls want to be surpised by the ring, but I knew ahead of time that that was pretty much my wedding ring that would be supplemented by a simpler band.

I can’t remember exactly how it went, (whether he asked me to show him what I liked or whether I told him) but he started showing me online what he liked… and ummm… no. I love him until the end of the world, but the rings he liked were not at all my style. I really think it’s crazy to just assume that your guy would pick the right style of ring for you to wear every day for the rest of your life. If you’ve talked about engagement, there’s nothing weird about sending your future fiance ring styles that you like. Maybe it’s vain, but I would be so bummed out getting a ring that I hated. Because that’s the thing nowadays – you wear that forever. 

Sorry about all the details – but in a nutshell, yes. I think you should discuss the ring, unless you’re the type of girl that truly doesn’t care about the style of it. And maybe not even discuss it – all I did was email him links to rings that I loved. And in the end, I got my dream ring. Honestly, the ring wasn’t my dream; my dream was to get married to the man I loved, but it’s a nice bonus to get a piece of jewlery that I am happy to wear everyday. Just send him an email entitled “Wishlist,” with styles of rings that you like. I was so shocked when my guy started showing me marquis diamonds… I don’t want to offend, but that is so not me and it was pretty shocking that he picked that. I sent him rings and said, “Pick your favorite, but these are the only styles that I really love.” Maybe it’s not romantic telling your FH what you like, but it sure felt romantic having him propose with a ring that we both loved. 

Post # 65
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We got engaged and then went ring shopping a month or so later.

Post # 66
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Makena Cove

I already had a center stone and asked him if he would go with me to see it with the setting I had fallen in love with after a ring shopping trip with some girlfriends. He inquired about it a little and seemed happy enough to go with me. The sales woman wrote everything down on a piece of paper for him and when we got home I gave the stone to him for safe keeping. He went back and bought the ring almost a month later. It seemed to take all the guess work out of things.

Post # 67
5259 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

We were really open about the topic of marriage.  We went to several stores and talked about what we wanted and what we liked.  It was fun!  I showed him my favorites… then he got something better.

Post # 68
22 posts
  • Wedding: March 2014

My Fiance found the whole e xperience quite stressful!

We had been talking about getting married for ages and it turned out we had to go to the jewellery quarter to ge a visa for our holiday… I was very pleased with the coincidence! We agreed we’d go shopping, but when we got there he chickened and would only look in the window. 

Then when he proposed he said he’d been back by himself and went into the shops but chickened out again (quite cute really) and asked if we could go together.

i jumped at the chance and I chose the setting and he chose the diamond according to his budget. It was the perfect way of doing it as it relieved all the stress and pressure he was feeling about it.

it’s actually thanks to the hive that he even considered going together as he didn’t think it was the ‘proper’ way of doing it until I showed him a thread like this with everyone’s stories!

Post # 70
75 posts
Worker bee

After we sreiously talked about getting married we made the decision together to make a “field trip” and we went and chose rings together. It was really fun, we tried out many different kinds and he knew right from the start what he wanted – I myself did not.

We actually went ring shopping twice, cause I had to return my first ring and it was so sad. But I quickly found the “one”, and my Fiance loves it. 🙂 

Post # 71
770 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza

Fiance brought it up.  He mentioned getting enaged one day and said he’d need some help picking out the ring.  I went with him the next day to look at some things.  I found two rings I was absolutely in love with. I suggested either one of those of something similar to either of those.  The point of the trip was to give him a general idea of what I liked.  He apparently went back the next day and bought one of those two rings and proposed with in a week (not expected at all).

Post # 72
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

What happened was that I rather accidentally proposed to him, or at least told him in no uncertain terms that we were getting married, to which he agreed, and then he panicked about rings. Since he knew jewelry is an interest of mine and I am very picky, he decided we should shop together. I told him he could just pick something out and I’d be happy, but he didn’t like the idea of dropping so much money on something he wasn’t sure I’d like, especially since I wanted a sapphire and he didn’t know much about them. So we had a lot of ring shopping dates, which were super fun. When we found the setting, we both knew it was the one (he had actually picked it out at the jeweler beforehand, along with two others, based on pictures I’d shown him of stuff I liked). It took us another two trips back to the store to pick out the sapphire, but when we saw it we both looked at each other in pure glee, because it was perfect! So we ended up with a ring we are both totally in love with. Ring shopping for us was very romantic and fun.

My ring had to be made for my finger size and then there were some alterations that I wanted to the setting, so it would be a few weeks before it was ready. My fiance kept all that to himself, so I had no idea when he picked it up. We were going on vacation and he told me it wasn’t ready yet, and I was a little sad about it because I was ready to be engaged… but then of course it WAS and he proposed on vacation while we were getting portraits taken (to capture my shocked face for all eternity). So I got the perfect ring AND the perfect surprise proposal. Based on my experience, I always think that the only thing that should be a surprise about the proposal is the exact how and when of it – the fact that there’s one coming doesn’t need to be a surprise, nor does the ring itself.

If you already have the ring picked out, just set up a surprise date and take him there, and tell him that he’s the perfect guy, and THAT is the perfect ring (hint, hint!).

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