- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2017
I am writing this in hopes of helping another 20-something bride like myself. Let me give you some history about my wedding planning experience (if you don’t care about that hoopla, keep scrolling until you see my two pieces of advice).
When I was a little girl, I never dreamed of my wedding like most girls did. When I got engaged is when I started to think about what I want, and to be honest I didn’t really know. For the past 5 months, I have been working closely with a wedding planner, reviewing all quotes and estimates, going over every little detail and all the etiquettes… In the end, this one day was going to cost me approximately $15,000, and I still would have wanted more. Talking about the wedding stressed me out and I avoided it at all cost. When I officially had all the quotes I needed from vendors and all of the etiquette details listed, I really started to feel like I was doing all of this to please other people than myself, and worst of all, I felt uncomfortable. I could go on and on about all of the stress i’ve endured trying to plan a traditional wedding on a smart budget (I know a “smart” budget is completely subjective; I am a new grad just starting a job with a comfortable wage, and I don’t see the value in a $15,000 day). My fiance has financially supported me all through out college, making sure I didn’t have to work in order to excel in my studies. Asking him to help me pay for an expensive wedding when he would be happy getting married out in front of a tree in our yard was out of the question for me. From the get go, both my mom and fiance’s mom whom have both been married previously told me if they had the chance to do it all over again, a destination wedding is what they would have done. My mom could tell I was stressed from the very beginning, but she let me plan my day how I thought I wanted, giving me advice and supporting me every step of the way (with a few subtle “just screw it and fly away!” moments).
Piece of advice number one: If you have a close relationship with your mom, listen to her. She knows you better than you know yourself sometimes.
When it comes to piece of advice number two, I actually recieved it on here. Although the message was worded rudely, it was very true. So let me say it to you nicely: Wedding planning should not be a stressful experience. It should be a generally exciting time for you and your fiance. Of course, you will have those moments when maybe a vendor you really wanted isn’t available, or something out of your control will happen that puts you on edge. But if you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or uncomfortable more than you feel excited, you may want to consider changing your plans. Your wedding day should be nothing less than magical.
I only officially changed my plans a week ago, and I feel so incredibly happy and excited now. My fiance and his family are elated and my family is ecstatic as well (my fiance didn’t really care how I planned our wedding, but he was definitely not this excited before now). We decided to have a destination Weddingmoon at Sandals Whitehouse Jamaica. The whole experience with Sandals so far has been incredible. It’s a one stop shop and everything I could imagine is included, plus its less than half the price I was at when planning a traditional wedding. I finally feel like this is truly a day that will be all about my fiance and I being in love and starting a new chapter. We are arriving on a Saturday, and the rest of our friends and family are arriving on a Thursday in order to give us our “honeymoon time.” When we leave they will be enjoying a wonderful vacation of their own. I’m not saying a destination wedding is the answer to everyone who has considered completely changing plans. I am just saying that I think this level of happiness and excitment I am experiencing right now is something all brides deserve, and that you should not hesitate to do a 180 if you feel uncomfortable with your current plans.
Goodluck to all of you, and I hope you are or can become as happy as I am right now!