Post # 1
So we were at our first planning meeting with our venue/DOC and they brought up the question of whether we’d be having a money dance or not. I was staunchly against it. I’m shy and self conscious about dancing at all in public. Also, so many Bees have convinced me that it’s often viewed as tacky. Plus, it could be humiliating. What if only three people participate? I would leave my own wedding out of mortification if that happened. Anyway, after I stated how I felt, our coordinator told us that many guests don’t give presents or cards with money anymore. They will instead bring cash for the money dance. She pointed out that skipping out on the money dance could mean eliminating the way many people choose to gift us. Personally, I’d rather get no presents at all than do a money dance. It terrifies me THAT much. But I thought that maybe this could have happened to some of you Bees. Has anyone else ever heard this? Did any of you ladies who received a low number of presents forego the money dance?
Post # 3
Never heard that before in my life. It sounds crazy to me.
Post # 4
I’d never even heard of the dance before coming to this board. I’d pass personally.
Post # 6
I’ve never heard of someone not giving a gift because they were counting on a money dance.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
She pointed out that skipping out on the money dance could mean eliminating the way many people choose to gift us.
MOST?!? Where is your planner from?
The money dance is tied to regions and some cultures. I have never seen a SoCal bride on these boards talk about the money dance. I do not think it is common in your area.
ETA: I have seen brides with roots in Southeast Asia and Eastern Europe (esp Poland) talk about money dances on these boards. I’ve also seen it discussed by people in the upper mid-west and parts of PA and NY.
Post # 8
I’ve never been to a wedding where there is a “money dance” nor have I ever even heard of it before now (I had to google it to see what it was!). I would be mortified if I ever saw it, and would honestly want to take back whatever gift I had given.
Post # 9
Where Darling Husband is from, they do a Polish dollar dance. We actually do give a tad less in money (like if we were giving $200, we write a check for $160) and then Darling Husband and I each put $20 in the dollar dance bag.
BUT to do this with the intention to get money is tacky. What DH’s family/region do is more culture based.
Post # 10
I’ve photographed a few of these before, they seem to be common in this area because I was just at a wedding last week and they did this.
Personally, I strongly dislike this idea and would pass pass pass on it.
Post # 11
Well, let me tell you that I never heard of a money dance, and that shouldn’t be in a wedding… maybe a stag or a shower. I don’t know where the coordinator got his/her information but I certainbly wouldn’t bring money to the wedding for a money dance! Sounds like a strip club… YUCK! So tacky!
Post # 12
We did not do a wedding dance and I’ve never heard of someone forgoing a wedding present and planning to give money at the wedding with the dance.
I do think it’s becoming less common to bring a present to the wedding, since online buying and shipping usually make it easier for the couple (instead of transporting guests after the event).
We had people coming up to us, waving money, asking if we were going to do a money dance. I think people are happy to gift the couple with extra cash, but I wouldn’t think it’s in lieu of a present!
Post # 13
FWIW, I’ve never been to a wedding with a dollar dance. I’d never heard of it before planning.
And I’m right there with you based on the fact that I’d find it mortifying. If your guests intend to bring cash as a wedding gift, they’ll give it to you or put the card in the card box.
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2011 - Catholic church followed by a botanical conservatory
We probably received gifts from about 80% of the attendees. If the rest were banking on the money dance, they missed out. And I lucked out, because those were NOT the people I wanted to pay to dance with me. LOL.
Totally don’t miss not doing a money dance, don’t regret it at all and didn’t even think about it day of! If you’re not comfortable with it, just say NO! 🙂
Post # 15
I’m not sure where the coordinator is from… I’m assuming she’s from SoCal. I’ve only been to one wedding with a money dance and it was a couple from the Phillipines.
Post # 16
I’m from the upper midwest (Wisconsin) and I’d never heard of a money dance until I came here. I’m with you – I would never do it and I would never bring money for it if I were attending a wedding. Unless it’s common in your area, your culture, or your family, I wouldn’t even consider it.