(Closed) For The One Who Married Young

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 17
Member
518 posts
Busy bee

So sweet. Me and my fiance will be married in a few months at 21 and 22. I have not doubted us for a second.

Post # 18
Member
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@MrsSkeletonKey:  Lovely!  Throughout the years you and your husband have made a commitment and then recommitted to each other over and over beautifully.  Congratulations!

Post # 19
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

That brought tears to my eyes.  Beautiful!

Post # 20
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

That was a lovely story and great advice.  One of my BMs married at 21 and is still happily married 12 years later so I know it’s possible.  I was one of her BMs and I had no clue about why she was getting married then though I supported her completely.

I am one of those who even though I married at 30 it didn’t work out and we were divorced when I was 33.  Now I am remarrying at 35 to a man who is more perfect for me than I could have ever dreamed possible.  Note that I said he is a perfect match for ME, not that he is perfect as a human being.  That would be impossible for either one of us. 

But I now know what real love, commitment and devotion is as shared between two people.  If you experienced it at an early age and married that person that’s wonderful.  I was one of those who was busy traveling the world in my twenties, studying abroad and interning in Europe and Africa, then getting my masters and testing out various careers.  I would not change my choices for all the world.  I learned more through those experiences than I ever could if I’d just stayed in Detroit my whole life.  They helped shape the person I became, which is an open minded global citizen preparing to marry an amazing Englishman.

But previously when I thought it was time to get hitched I forced it instead of letting it happen naturally.  God told me over and over that he wasn’t the one.  But I wanted to make a square peg fit into a round hole and so had to learn from that mistake. 

Thankfully, making those mistakes helped me recognize a good man when I began to date my FH (we get our marriage license tomorrow!).  So I was sort of a late bloomer in that area.  But I believe we each are endowed with different gifts and experiences that shape us at different times.  I understand why it was important that God let me bump my head a few times before I met my soulmate and the one I would give my life for. 

Hopefully our children, once we have them, will be able to use us as their dating compass in a way that I was unable to with my own mom and dad who divorced when I was 2. 

Thank you for sharing your story as a fellow Michigander it’s nice to read about another local couple who made good!Smile 

Post # 21
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Can I use this as a reading at my wedding?! It’s brilliant, I’m 27 but still lots of this resonates!!!

Post # 23
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Wow I teared up… I’m going to be 24 when I marry and already we are being looked down upon… but I know the love we share. Thank you for sharing.

Post # 24
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@MrsSkeletonKey:  Wow, I will be 22, Fiance will be 24 at our wedding. This article just made me that much sure of our decision -despite all those knowing looks that I get ALL the time. 

Post # 25
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

While I don’t think it is generally the best idea to marry young, that doesn’t mean that there are no success stories.

My POV is skewed by hearing my mother constantly talk about regretting marriage at 23, even though she is still with my dad nearly 40 years later. I have also seen so many marriages between very young couples end very quickly.

This story captures the beauty of young love and the advantages of it. People CAN get married young and go on to live very happy lives, just as some get married later and have terrible marriages.

Post # 26
Member
2766 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

This post really resonated with me, and made me cry f’reals.

My mom is so thrilled for me but also terrified. Her first marriage occured when she was very young, and she has regrets that she feels affect her life to this day. She’s terrified for me because at 18, I announced that I had found the one. I feel bad sometimes that I had caused my parents so much anxiety over the years, but they’ve also harboured guilt because though they love my FH, it just didn’t make sense to them that we were so committed to each other early in life. 

Even though we are now 26/27 and finally making it official, and even though my parents were beyond excited about our engagement, they sat me down for a serious conversation. They still have these lingering doubts that we started too young, didn’t explore enough, and are tying each other down. I can’t believe they’re still fretting, but it’s someting everyone will do when you committ yourself to someone else at a young age. 

While I think my FH and I “did the right thing” by waiting, I don’t think anything in our life would have changed if we had married 8 years ago. I have no doubt that we would have grown together and loved each other the same as we do now, though our choices seem a bit more socially acceptable now.

Post # 27
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsSkeletonKey:  I’m not marrying young (when did I stop being young?), but I am so glad I clicked this link. That was a beautifully written piece.

Post # 28
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2007

So sweet! I was young when DH and I got married (19) though DH was ‘normal’ age (being 29). It was really refreshing to read something nice about getting married young.

 

 

While I understand the rationale, there are those of us who, after great preparation, decide to marry young because we know that our core beliefs will not change, & because we want our marriage to be founded on true undying commitment and not just feelings of love (as feelings are open to change, where as promises should never be). We also promise to make very conscious decision to grown together, instead of apart.

This. This exactly.

 

Post # 29
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Very sweet article 🙂

Post # 31
Member
1608 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Wow, that was beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing! 

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