(Closed) for those against strippers, here is what you can say to get your way!

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have stated this before in another thread, but Fiance actually told me he is not having a bachelor party. We have had a rule in place for six years now where neither of us would go to a strip club, as neither of us like them. I was planning on just having a bunch fo my female friends get together at my FI’s aunt’s lake house to watch movies, go bowling, and play games for my bachelorette party. I assumed  that he would want something along those lines as well. He does not want one at all lol. He says that it seems silly for him personally, as he is a quiet and reserved man. He would rather treat this as any other step in life–important, but it is not the ending of anything. He also likes to continually say that it’s not that I don’t “let” him go to the strip clubs, he just chooses of his own volition not to go. It is so true. We don’t like to limit each other, but we definitely talk about issues like this. I know this is one of the reasons I love him so much. We are on the same page a majority of the time and we are respectful of our differences. Growing up in a house where my father was not very respectful and was abusive, this is a change that I can get used to. In regards to your argument, I tend to agree. This is how Fiance and I look at it: neither of us would want the other in those circumstances. This is not something we reached lightly. We tend to pick a topic and discuss it numerous times at different periods in our relationship. That way we can gauge whether or not our stances have changed with time. We adjust things as necessary.

Post # 4
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Sassy5412: very interesting! Never thought of that one, but it makes sense! And I know that would make my husband VERY uncomfortable!!! However, hubs doesnt enjoy strip clubs because they make HIM feel uncomfortable! But that doesnt mean his friend havent tried to force him to go!

Post # 5
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

HOw funny! That was going to be my suggestion as well! “Sure, honey, you and your friends can go oogle a stripper, so long as the stripper is ME!”

…But then there’s always the chance he might take you up on it. In which case, don’t marry that louse ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ve said something along those lines to my Fiance before, trying to explain to him why strippers bother me and shouldn’t be the goal of the bachelor/bachelorette party.  I know Fiance doesn’t appreciate it if I were to go out to the club and dance with other guys (b/c dancing can get preeettty suggestive). So I asked him one night how upset he’d be if I had dance with some guys when I was out on a girls night. He clearly wasn’t thrilled. Then I asked if he’d be bothered if I’d bought them some drinks, and of course he was less than happy. That’s where I took the chance to explain to him that no, I always respect his wishes (and totally understand them) and I did not dance with guys. And that as much as that would be hurtful for him to have me do that, I would be equally (if not more) upset and hurt if he were to go spend our money on naked women, who may or may not give him lapdances. I think that definitely got the point across, and showed how a view of ‘strippers are just what you do’ is pretty hypocritical when we respect other personal boundaries in our relationship. 

Post # 7
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I just told my hubby that I wasn’t comfortable with it. Simple as that, he respected my feelings, and didn’t go.

Post # 8
Member
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Haha that is too funny…unfortunately I think my man would be like woohoo!! go for it! lol.

Post # 9
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I told Fiance no strip clubs as soon as we started dating. He used to have a couple of friends that really liked them, so I wanted to be very clear since he used to sometimes tag along :). I just told him that I think they’re disrepectful to women and the thought of him at one really makes me sad (and disgusted), and that did the trick. As far as the bachelor party goes, I’m pretty close to his friends, and I told them no strippers as well. They’re nice, respectful guys, so I don’t foresee a problem :).

If he had made it an issue, though, your suggestion seems like it would work! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

Here’s a good one: Tell your fiance you are totally fine with them going to a strip club for the bachelor party, but you get to pick which one. He may say, “Oh really?” Then pick one that is a male dancing strip club. ๐Ÿ™‚

@Sassy5412:  Seriously, though, your idea is great!

 

Post # 11
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

That is a really interesting way to look at things and something I never thought of! I like it!

Post # 12
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

LOL.. yes I said the same thing… I told him if he goes to a strip club, i will take flirty girl dance lessons and compete at the next amatuer night at the strip joint and win the money back that would spend on all the strippers.. he was NOT happy b/c i told him i was dead serious and so now he wont even think about a strip club.

lol.. it sure worked on him

Post # 13
Member
26 posts
Newbee

This doesn’t hold up.  The counter-argument to this is that he is passively viewing the stripper while you are actively being the stripper, which is far worse. 

Post # 14
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

@Corykru: Like it. My FH would kill me if I danced at a strip club.

Post # 15
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yep Im pretty sure this would do the trick in making most any guy uncomfortable.. Never thought about it like that before.

Post # 16
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This is actually a pretty good idea… I may have to try it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Unfortunately, I know my Fiance wouldn’t mind NOT going, but I guarentee his budies are planning on taking him.  Which pretty much makes me want to vomit.

The topic ‘for those against strippers, here is what you can say to get your way!’ is closed to new replies.

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