(Closed) For those no longer ‘waiting’, that have a procrastinating FI…..give me hope!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How did your procrastinator go about it?
    Totally surprised me by being a planner when he's usually not : (5 votes)
    50 %
    Stuck to his usual ways : (5 votes)
    50 %
    Other-explaing below : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    3601 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    @Wonderwoman217: Dude behavior. He’s good at saying romantic things, but romantic actions are none at all.

    Post # 4
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Hopefully I’m in the minority here, but when ex-FI/semi-bf proposed, it was nothing special (no sweet words, no getting down on one knee, etc.). He made his deadline, because he said he’d do it before New Years, and ended up doing it on Christmas Eve.. but, the only way this was a surprise is because he said he’d never do it on a holiday.

    Post # 5
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear, but he stuck to his dude behavior. His plan was to have an awesome proposal before we moved to our new apartment, but he waited too long to order the ring, ran out of time and proposed on the couch the night before we signed the lease. Talk about procrastination! It was a sweet proposal though and I wouldn’t have changed it at all. It deff wasn’t some epic well-thought out gesture, but that’s just how he rolls!

    Post # 6
    6247 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    Ah yes, it drives me crazy that my Fiance procrastinates and yet things still work out for him most of the time.  I should have been a boy scout, my motto is “Always Be Prepared”… needless to say I’m a total planner. 

    Anywho, my Fiance actually surprised the heck out of me with the proposal.  He did meticulous research to find the perfect ring, and then he planned a surprise destination proposal to pop the question.  He even set up a meeting with our parents to formally ask for my hand in marriage.  I was completely unaware of all of this.  Totally not like him to plan so far in advance, but it really showed how much effort he put into such a huge event in our lives.  I’m not saying spur of the moment proposals aren’t romantic, but that’s what I expected from my guy.

    Fiance has gone back to his procrastinating ways, but honestly, it doesn’t bother me as much after I saw how much work and planning he did to make sure the proposal went perfectly.  We seem to work as a couple with me being the planner and he being the procrastinator.  Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke, right?  🙂

    Post # 7
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Stayed with dude behavior. He was not a planner. Anytime he planned for the day it fell through. Finally we were walking through the mall and he said we should go look at rings. We did and I showed him what I liked. He had to wait for it to come in but as soon as he had it he proposed. No big plans just a casual, “will you marry me” by my parents garage 🙂

    To give you hope though my bestie has dated her guy for 10 years. She was SO ready for a proposal to the point that every single one of us wondered why he wasn’t popping the question. Turns out he had this big elaborate plan in place months in advance hidden under the guise of letting her tag along to a work conference he had to attend. They went to Colorado and he even had the hotel put up a sign that said “Welcome Company Name” to throw her off. He took her to dinner and popped the question! She was one that was SURE she’d know when he was doing it but she was so surprised.

    Post # 9
    923 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Dude behavior all the way.  He had talked a big game about wanting to give me “the surprise of my life,” but couldn’t get the planning together when it came down to it.  I was ok with it, because let’s face it, I just wanted us to be engaged.  I think the stress of moving to another country to start a new job was a big part in him not doing the big surprise he had wanted to plan.

    Post # 10
    931 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Ring buying takes time and planning. My guy being the classic procrastinator figured it couldn’t possibly take as long as it did, and didn’t budget time for screw ups (of which there were many).

    To be fair, he tried to plan a nice proposal (because those can be more spontaneous it appealed more to his procrastinator nature) but because of all the BS with the ring, his proposal plans kept getting screwed up.

    Bottom line, the procrastinator does things when he’s good and ready. And I’ve learned by planning a wedding (now in 8 days!!) with him, that it’s something you can’t change about a person. (nor should you, because his laid back attitude has really helped me keep calm(ish) during all this planning).

    For better or for worse!

    Post # 11
    359 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m afraid it’s going to be typical dude behavior – hence the poll I posted about being worried about a let down.  He has a deadline of October 31, and I’m so sure I’m going to get a Halloween proposal…”Trick or Treat…here’s your damn ring…”

    Post # 12
    5572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Well he procrastinated. He originally wanted to propose last summer around August. We got really busy and he didn’t. I was still being semi-normal at that time so I don’t think he thought that it was that big of a deal. In September-ish I started getting crazy (LOL) and I think that’s when he realized how way past ready I was. I nagged and nagged for 2 months while he reassured me to just trust him. On November 1st a girl at work got engaged and I went back to my office and cried. I cried at lunch with my mom that day. I cried on the phone with my sister all the way home from work. And I had an epic breakdown when I got home. He told me that day that he would propose before the new year. After that I decided to shut up about it. It was really hard but I was quiet all through November. I was terrified the whole time that he wasn’t even thinking about it. Luckily, I was wrong. He planned the whole thing very meticulously. I was thinking that I’d probably get a new years day proposal because he usually waits until the very last minute but he proposed on December 10th.
    It’s coming!!!! I think that some guys are different but my Fiance is usually a big procrastinator. Good luck!!

    Post # 13
    3304 posts
    Sugar bee

    Mine semi planned- we already planned to go away that weekend but that morning we were leaving, he stopped by the store and picked up the first ring he said that matched the general description of my dream ring. He proposed later that evening.

    He told me afterwards that he proposed out of the blue and probably came up with the whole idea 48 hours before he did it. Some plannign was involved but it wasn’t elaborate. He did start acting weird (more sweet and attentive) aroudn the same time he made up his mind.

    Post # 14
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    He bought a ring a few months in advance, we went to California for Thanksgiving, I met one of my heroes, and an hour and a half after I met his dad, he proposed (I was wondering why he drank his sake like a shot…)  This was because I said I wanted his parents to meet me beforehand.  I thought it went without saying that I wanted them to be able to state their opinions on me/our relationship.  But no.  He was initially planning on buying my ring in Afghanistan (he’s going in July – after we’re married), but his deployment was put off and I’d told him I wasn’t going to wait around forever.  So he used my great-grandmother’s diamond at my request.  

    He started planning in July, and proposed in November.

    Post # 15
    71 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    For the most part, he’s a clueless procrastinator.  He even forgot about Valentine’s Day this year!

    However, when it came to the proposal- it was a different story.  He took me shopping and asked for my opinion after only 3 months of dating.  He bought the ring almost a full year before he asked me.  He definitely planned it out and made sure 100% it was the right thing to do.  


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