(Closed) For those of us who don’t want kids, how do you respond?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Haha, gotta love people sticking their noses in your sex life, right??

Some remarks I have used (depending on the person)

– when are YOU going to have kids/grandkids/another kid?

– sorry, I see what you go through, no way in hell am I putting myself through that!

– well, when do you plan on having sex with your husband/bf/whatever? What? You’re asking me the same question!

– I can’t have kids, but thanks for reminding me

 

Post # 4
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’ve actually officially begun to tell people that I can’t physically do it, and that  it’s such a sore topic I’d really appreciate their support in not bringing it up…It’s working aside from my SIL who is just convinced  my eggs are going to start tick and tocking all over the place

Post # 5
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

but hey, one annoying person is WAAAAY better than like 80

Post # 6
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I have a teen son from a previous relationship, and everyone swears up and down that Mr. LK and I are going to pop out a kid now that we are married and settled and stuff. I seriously just laugh in their faces as though they have told the funniest joke I’ve heard in my entire life. Clearly these well meaning folks have bumped their heads and should seek immediate medical attention for their dillusions.

Really, it’s just not worth getting upset about. People say stupid/insensitive/rude stuff all the time. They don’t mean to hurt your feelings; they just cannot quite understand because your choices don’t conform to their world view. Let it roll off your back. This isn’t a battle that is worth choosing.

Post # 7
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My SO’s Mom likes to mention how she can’t wait to be a grandmother. I think I am a little harsh but I always remind her, I am not having kids, I do not like kids and do not see any upside to having one at all. She has no idea that I would possibly consider adoption years and years from now but that is also none of her business.

Post # 8
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My mother says to me “I will never be a grandma!”

Darling Husband has a 13 year old, so even though I’m a step-mom, he’s my child. So that usually helps when the questions come up, but I still get them, so I usually go into this extremely long explanation that I love SS (who has 4 bros/sis at his mom’s house) and Darling Husband and I enjoy spoiling him like he’s an only child.

But my standard response is “If it happens, it happens, but we’ve decided that (more) children aren’t in our future”.

I had one incredibly rude lady ask me about it while we were wedding dress shopping at a really small boutique and she was pulling out those one liners like “One day you’ll change your mind!” So I looked at her and said (this is so not meant to offend anyone by the way) “Well, I’m not planning on children but if I get pregnant I guess I’ll have it begrudgingly because I don’t believe in killing innocent fetuses!” She didn’t say anything to me the rest of the time we were there.

Post # 9
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee

I say:

I can’t have kids – this usually shuts people up!

I wasn’t put on earth to provide children for YOU.  If you’re so desperate for kids/grandkids then you do something about it.

When people say “You’ll change your mind”  which I find REALLY offensive I’ll say:

Do you tell people that who WANT kids?  If someone said to me I can’t wait to have kids in the future I wouldn’t tell them they’ll probably change their mind so don’t feel you can say that to me!!

I get where you’re all coming from – how aggravating. 

Post # 11
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@skyeatnight: I have gotten downright snarky with people and said something similar to people who just won’t shut up. My reproductive organs are none of your damn business!!

I have even said “I have a fantastic sex life with my husband, do you?” to people who have kids. That usually shuts them up real quick too

Post # 12
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I just made a poll and didnt’realize its got almost the same title. Oops!

Post # 13
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee

@MrsSl82be:  HA HA!  Absolutely fantastic – my kind of answers Laughing 1

Post # 15
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am not even polite about it anymore. I usually tell people to mind their own f*&^ business. At least my family and FI’s family gets it, it is mostly just nosey strangers that stick their nose in where it doesn’t belong.

Post # 16
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

yay, this is awesome! love having ladies who get my line of thinking 🙂

The topic ‘For those of us who don’t want kids, how do you respond?’ is closed to new replies.

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