(Closed) For those of us who don’t want kids, how do you respond?

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 30
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My Fiance and I decided that kids weren’t in our future. I actually have serious health issues that would make pregnancy very dangerous for me so we decided that we didn’t want kids in any way. No adoption, no in vitro, no nothing. Fiance actually never really wanted kids even before we started dating.

FI’s grandmother was absolutely appalled that we aren’t having kids. We just broke the news to his extended family that I can’t actually carry a baby to term safely and so we decided no kids. My family & extended family already knew as did his immediate family. 

FI’s grandmother “When are you and my grandson going to make me a great grandmother?”

Me “Actually we’re not having kids.”

Her “But you have to. That’s a woman’s job.”

Fiance “Actually grandma, it would be very dangerous for TunaCat29 to get pregnant so we’ve decided no kids.”

Her “What does your mother say about that?”

Fiance “It’s our decision. Please respect that.”

I had never loved my Fiance more than when he defended our decision to his grandmother.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by TunaCat29.
Post # 31
594 posts
Busy bee

I’ve always known I don’t want kids; so has my partner. Whenever anyone says, “When you have kids…” I vigorously shake my head and whisper, “No, no, no” very quickly. That usually gets the job done. If they persist (“You’ll change your mind!” like they’re psychic or something), I say, “It’s funny than when someone says she DOES want kids, no one tells her she’ll change her mind.” No one’s ever had a comeback for that one! If anyone tried, though, I’d probably sound a bit rude and say, “Look, I just don’t like kids, okay?”

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