Post # 1
This is what I’m thinking of doing – different dresses – but I also want the final say on the dresses. I have 4 BMs, and if I find 4-5 dresses that I like and let them pick from that, is that a bad way to go about it? Will that cause problems? I’m wondering about the scenario where two people might like the same one. Do I let them get the same one?
I thought maybe I could give them my thoughts, like which dress I thought for each girl, but then leave the final say up to them?
Post # 3
I left it up to my girls. I just specified the color. I mean, if one of them had chosen a dress I thought was inappropriate, I would probably have said something, but really they are all adults and capable of dressing themselves so it worked out ok.
Here’s a pic (some chose the same dress, others chose different dresses, I think it all worked out ok)
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
They might be okay with it, but you might want to give more options than that because it might become a race for people to get the dress they like
Post # 5
if I were you I would give them more choices
I’m doing mismatched dresses — same designer, color, length, material, but different styles. I found about 10 dresses I was okay with with and had my 5 bridesmaids pick from those. As soon as one chose one, it was removed from the list. it worked out well and even the last girl to order her dress still had 4 dresses to pick from.
Post # 6
I just told them color and length then let them choose their dress (the second one from the left decided last minute she didn’t like her dress, and went out and picked another one. I didn’t really care, but that’s why her’s isn’t quite at “bridesmaid-y as the others)
Post # 7
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where we got to chose our own dresses. the bride told us the color, the level of formality/feel of the wedding and told us for it to be grandma appropriate, (ie, not too short and not too much clevage.) We all chose our own dresses but of course gave her final approval. I think it worked out really well.
Post # 8
It’s just that.. I don’t really trust them. One of them keeps telling me she wants short, but I want long. i’m afraid she’d go out and buy it without even checking with me first and it would be short or tea-length. And then what if I tell them it’s up to them but I end up not liking what they pick?
Post # 9
I also don’t really trust them to get it done on time. One Bridesmaid or Best Man can’t even be bothered to respond to my text messages, never mind go out and find a dress. Two are also out of town for school.
Post # 10
well I think you can tell them that they can pick a dress within certain guidelines but you would like to have final approval. And if they don’t get a dress on time, I guess that’s their problem and they won’t be standing up in the wedding. I would hope that any adult is capable of buying a dress on time though.
If you want to give them 3-5 options and have them pick from those then dont’ tell them you’re letting them choose their own dresses. Tell them you like 5 dresses and they can pick a dress out of those.
Post # 11
I have three BMs and a Maid/Matron of Honor. I chose the color and approximate length of the dresses. They all went by themselves and picked the dress they liked. They all chose a different dress and about the same length. I love the way they each have something they will wear again and love.
Post # 12
I’m planning on telling my ladies to wear dark blue. Beyond that it’s up to them. Long, short, whatever. One friend never ever wears skirts, so I’ll tell her that pants are fine too. I don’t like the matchy matchy bridal army look, and i just want everyone to feel comfortable and beautiful.
I realize that i won’t have any control over it, and I hope that they will run their choices by me, but I’m choosing not to worry about it. I guess it’s just not a very big deal for me.
Post # 13
Yup, me too! I actually didnt even specify color. Our wedding is still formal, but very small. Only two BMs. My Maid/Matron of Honor picked her dress already and my other Maid/Matron of Honor can pick what she wants as long as it doesnt clash.
She picked this dress and we changed out the sash to a dark purple/plum. Will look so pretty with a bouquet.
Post # 14
All I told my girls was no floor length, because I thought that was too much for a summer morning wedding. Also, who can wear a floor length dress again?
I didn’t care if they wore something they already had or bought something new. I also didn’t care what color(s) – I hate matchy-matchy. I think it looks gimmicky.
My Maid/Matron of Honor wore a bright turquoise, Bridesmaid or Best Man wore a deep bronze color, and Jr. BMs wore pale pink and pale bronze. They all looked awesome!
My only “colors” that I had throughout were pale pink and pale green – and those were only on the invitations, the bouquets, and the floral centerpieces.
Post # 15
I’m more likely than not going with the Dessy twist dress. That way everyone is in the same color and material, and they have options. Plus…no alterations! Bonus! They have a short (what I would do) and long version. I love all the different ways to wrap it. could that be an option?
Post # 16
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I think it’s fairly common to choose a few styles and let your bridesmaids choose from those – if you have four who like one dress and one who likes something different, is it that weird? or two and three? Or so many bridesmaids dress companies have a color/fabric/length group and then you can have them choose from that.