Post # 1
Did anyone think that was weird?
I told one of my friends, and she said ‘so you are hyphenating’. I said Nope! just using mine as my middle from now on, like Jada Pinkett Smith. And she gave me this weird look. Ugh!! It is my name and I can do whatever I wish to do with it.
Post # 3
I guess it depends on your circle of friends and family. This is common amongst my friends and family so no one thought it was weird. What they did think was weird was that I did not drop my already 2 name middle name, so now I have 1 first name, 3 middle names, and 1 last name. My SS card takes 2 lines. LOL.
Post # 4
@yellowshoe: LOL I love that you went with it regardless!
Post # 5
I think is is perfectly normal, and it is the option that I feel works best for me. I love my current middle name, so I will just have two middle names after we get married. They are both short, so I am not too worried about it.
@yellowshoe: I commend you on your dedication to keeping them all – I think I’d be too lazy to hehe
Post # 6
It is my name and I can do whatever I wish to do with it. My thoughts exactly.
I don’t think it’s weird. I’m also moving my maiden to my middle name.
Post # 7
I did that after my first marriage. I didn’t want to change my name originally b/c I apparently had doubts about the marriage. I dropped my middle name so I could give it to my daughter if I ever had one. Nobody thought it was weird in the least (more so that I waited sooo long to do it)….it wasn’t like I was using “Jada Pinkett Smith” all the time though…just for legal reasons.
I’m not doing that this time around though….my middle name is DH’s ex-gf’s name.
Post # 8
@loveknows: this is common in some latin cultures. from what i understand, the children’s names will be mother’s and father’s last. when the female marries, they will drop the mother’s name and keep father’s and then add new husband’s last name.
Post # 9
I thought about doing that, but when we applied for the marriage license, they said I couldn’t do it. That I had to go thru the courts to make my maiden name my middle name. It wasn’t worth the effort, so I just dropped the idea and took his name without any other changes.
Post # 10
I love all my names. When I got married I just added my maiden name to my middle name, instead of dropping my middle name completely (it has significance to me), so I have a 2-name middle name. It’s now [first name] [middle name] [maiden name] [married name], with no hyphens. For brevity, on things like taxes/credit cards/etc., I just use my original middle initial. My mom did the same thing.
Post # 11
@loveknows and @sarahbabs: LOL. thank you girls. I am too attached to my middle name. And my dad has only daughters so we’re not “allowed” to drop our maiden names so I had to just tack it all on. Thankfulyl, my new last name is only 3 letters. 🙂
Post # 12
@Loribeth: Hmm, that’s kind of weird. Is that a specific state thing? I just had the social security office change it, they said it was not a problem. You don’t sign the marriage license as your married name anyway.
Post # 13
I don’t have a middle name, so I’m taking my maiden name as my middle name. I’m attached to it, but it won’t complicate things that much since it’ll be the first time I’ll ever have a middle name!
Post # 14
I believe a woman has the right to change her name — or not change her name — in whatever manner is preferrable to her and her FH. However, I personally chose to do what you’re doing. 🙂
You can inform your friend that the name change you have chosen is the FORMAL, TRADITIONAL manner in which women in the US have changed their names throughout history. I had always suspected this but was still actually a bit surprised to learn this for certain when I was doing some research when I was trying to decide how to change my name, as the vast majority of my own friends and women that I know became First Givenmiddle Hislast. However, some of my friends, my own mother, and one of my grandmothers, and one of DH’s grandmothers and many other women before them (think of children’s books author Laura Ingalls Wilder — she wasn’t Laura Elizabeth Wilder) chose to become First Maiden Hislast, since that has long been the formal, traditional way of women in our country changing their names. The reason behind it has to do with indicating the woman’s family of origin in her new, married name. In fact, one of the premiere wedding stationery companies making wedding invitations and thank you notes includes in its FAQs an answer that a married woman’s new official monogram should include the initial of her maiden name and not her given middle name.
I probably am one of the Hive’s strongest advocates of the name change you have chosen, because it gives you the most flexibility and options. It allows you to maintain your prior identity (very useful for those of us who had long, well-established professional careers in our maiden names); it helps to avoid confusion in the workplace. doctors’ offices, with the post office, etc., after you change your name (it’s much easier to realize that Jane Smith Doe use to be Jane Ann Smith than it is to connect Jane Ann Smith with Jane Ann Doe); it allows you to take your husband’s last name; unlike hyphenating, you won’t be out of alphabetical order with or have a different last name than your husband and possibly your future children; and it allows you properly to use the honorific “Mrs.,” — something women who do not change their names or who choose to hyphenate their names cannot properly use as a social title.
If you love this choice, then enjoy it, and do not allow your friend or anyone else to make you feel bad about it. 🙂
Post # 15
Nah, it didn’t seem like anyone thought it was weird – maybe a couple of people didn’t consider it as an option before but when I told them/changed my name on Fbook, etc, no one had a problem.
Post # 16
Yeah I changed it so that my middle name is my maiden name with no hyphen. I know a lot of people who do it (but it may be a midwestern thing). But it’s not uncommon and it makes sense to me to do it. I like not losing my maiden name! Also in work email signatures or whateve I can put my middle name (i.e. maiden name) too so people that don’t know I changed my name will recognize it.