Post # 1
My name is (for example) Mary Jane Smith. I go by Jane. It’s always caused a bit of confusion having to explain it, and is at the least an irritation.
I want to keep my maiden name and add my husband’s to the end. I thought that it would be great to drop Mary entirely so I wouldn’t have 4 names and I would never have to explain my “middle name” situation again. My new name would be Jane Smith Jones.
Well, I went to the social security office today and found out that I can’t drop my first name without a court order. So I just added my husband’s name to mine, and my name is now Mary Jane Smith Jones. I thought about hyphenating, but my maiden name and his last name are both pretty long. So now, not only am I not called by my first name socially, I have 2 middle names. Something else to explain lol.
I know a lot of people go this route with their name change, so for those of you who have 2 middle names…how does it work in everyday life? How do you officially sign your name? When you fill out forms with just one space for a middle initial, what do you put?
Post # 3
I’ve always had two middle names too, since birth. I dropped my maiden last name and took my husband’s so I still have four names. As much as I will miss my old last name, I didn’t want 5 names. I haven’t noticed that having four names has caused many issues, other than just being really long.
Post # 4
@Miss Sorbet: I don’t have an answer to your question, but instead a question for you. Does that mean you were able to take your Maiden name as a middle name without a court order? Could you completely replace your existing middle name (drop it) with a maiden name that way too?
Post # 5
I know a woman who goes by her middle name as well. She goes by Jane Smith, but is legally Sally Jane Smith. The only time her first name is ever mentioned is in legal docs, or as S. Jane Smith.
If I were you, I’d just go on calling yourself Jane Smith Jones, and if you are signing legal docs, then use your full name. For business docs, you could always go with M. Jane Smith Jones, or M.J. Smith Jones so you don’t have to write out all 4 🙂
Post # 6
I’ve been feeling quite a bit of sadness since changing my name. I identify strongly with “Jane Smith,” yet have to give the name “Mary Jones” when it comes to legal situations or business, such as paying bills, etc.
In other words, I feel no real attachment (yet) to the first and last name I now have to use in any situation other than social . It bothers me more than it should, probably. I’ll get used to it though.
@Mrs.ChubbyBunny: @indibee: Thanks for the advice, ladies!! Your sentiments really made me feel more comfortable.
@ChemistryBride: Yes, I was able to take my maiden name as a middle name without a court order. I think that you can drop your current middle name while changing your maiden name (without a court order), but I’m not 100% positive. I think the only name they really care about is your first, because it’s your “primary” name, and that’s why you have to have a court order to change it/drop it.
Post # 7
I”ve had 4 names my whole life– first middle middle last. I dropped my maiden name completely and took my husband’s name, so I still have my two middle names. It’s really not a big deal! On most documents I don’t list my middle names, or I only list the first letter of the first middle name, unless it’s something for the gov’t. I don’t use either when signing my name, and most people probably don’t know that I have two, lol.
Post # 8
I’ve always had 4 names–First Middle Last Last. My paternal grandfather was adopted so he kept both his last names and gave it to my father who gave it to me so technically my two last names are unhyphenated. To be honest, it’s a pain in the ass to explain to every office I go to whether gov’t, school, or health related. Can you imagine the number of times I’ve had to tell them my name is actually unhyphenated and to add my first name is spelled very differently than what the U.S. spelling is? It’s frustrating. I’ve decided that I’m dropping both last names and taking my husband’s. It’s important to me that our children have the same last names as us and I can’t imagine giving my kid’s both of our names.
However, if it’s important to you to keep your name (if you’re a professional or just really love your name, go for it!). Don’t feel pressure to do one or the other, you choose it.
Post # 9
@Miss Sorbet: Another idea is to start signing things “M. Jane Smith Jones”? I often send letters with the two initials from my first and second names and then my full two last names.
Post # 10
Thank you both! Good to know I’m not alone in the “4 names” thing, haha but you’ve both been dealing with it way longer than me! Initialing 1 or 2 of my names when signing things is a good idea, I just have to get used to it I guess!
Post # 11
i have 4 names now that i’m married– and it’s really confusing because my middle name is my mom’s maiden name, aka my name is first last(mom’s maiden) last(my maiden) last(his). like, and this is a made up name “jane smith jones cooper.” i try to go by first maiden his, jane smith cooper, but i really kind of wish in retrospect (it’s been a year) that i’d just hyphenated it to make things easier! i kind of want to change it but dread waiting in all those lines again…..and i don’t know if they’d let me add a hyphen easily anyway….
Post # 12
I am going to be using a very close variation of my name (Very very close variation, but not my name exactly). It is Zarah Ann Hernandez Corrant. I use Zarah Corrant most of the time. Zarah Ann Corrant, and for the first two years of college used Zarah Ann Hernandez Corrant (and that is the name i have on my drivers license, and its printed on my checks in the joint account with my Fiance). I am sort of just getting used to it, adjusting to it, but with the whole name it feels like me.
I am actually going to combine my Frist name with my first middle name, and use my second middle name, Hernandez as my middle. Then hyphenate when I get married. This is realistically the best way for me to do so. I get to still go by Zarah as I am used to that. I will have to change everything and go through the headache of doing so. I think maybe I won’t change my name upon my application, and just get a court order to change the name to how I want afterwards. I really want there to be a law change that states that Yes, your Marriage certificate can be changed. Because its silly that there isn’t. If there is name Freedom in California, there should be freedom to change the certificate if you change your mind with in marriage, and to be able to apply for a new marriage certificate. If anybody knows anything about this. Please let me know.
Yet I am still sort of thinking about this. maybe will combine the middle names into one so its Annhernandez.
Post # 13
Wow, I have the exact same situation as you! I have four names, and I also go by my middle name. It’s definitely confusing sometimes, but to be honest, I haven’t found it to be a big deal.
Post # 14
I have 4 names now. My mother gave me two middle names. When signing normal documents I usually do the first middle name so if my name were Darla Mary Jane Miller I write Darla Mary Miller on most of my things. The only time it got confusing is when some doctor switched my records so it said fr example Darlamj Miller and it took a while for them to figure out that wasn’t a real name and fix it. The only documents that have my full four names are my passport and my college diploma.
My friends used to bug me about it and made up fake middle names for me which was a bit amusing and to make matters worse my mother did a legal name change when I was younger so my name middle names would be changed but I’m guessing since she just changed middle names no one cares and its never come up. They just accept my birth certificate names. If I added my guy’s name it would be 5 names! I would just basically have to drop mine and I’m kinda not okay with that…