For those together 5+ years, how often do you have deep conversations?

posted 4 months ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
640 posts
Busy bee

When we first met we would stay up for hours on the phone talking about anything and everything. We live together now and we’ve both been going through some things with our families so now we’re getting deeper into our childhood experiences and talking about what we want for our future family. We share the same views on politics but we still talk about the news daily and interesting opposing views that we come across. I’m much more of a talker but he definitely has things to say and we’re the same in that I’m more “book smart” and he’s more “street smart”. 

Post # 3
Member
9365 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We’ve been together for 10 years. I’m a big talker, he’s much more quiet. But we have lots of long talks about all sorts of different topics. Everything from movies and television to religion and politics. We are also in very different fields (I teach communication courses and he is in biology research) so we have fun teaching each other about our different interests. I’d say once or twice a week we have a really great conversation about something. He’s my favorite person to talk to!

I enjoy the quiet moments too though. Sometimes we’ll both be hanging out in the same room, not talking, and just doing our own things and there’s a nice quiet comfort in just being together even if we aren’t doing anything/talking about something.

Post # 4
Hostess
3703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We are in our 5th year now and one of our very favorite things to do is go way out into the desert and just talk about everything. We talk about politics, history, science, spiritual stuff, nothing is off the table. These drives are our way of reconnecting in our busy lives. We try to do this twice a month, but when life gets hectic, we might only go once. 

Post # 5
Hostess
3737 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

hunnybunchesok :  We have always had deep conversations.  Several of my close friends still go on to me about how they couldn’t believe how much the two of us could just talk.  We have been together for over a decade and still manage to get into deep conversations, especially when we’re driving together or on vacations.  We are in very different fields (law and science) but each love learning and have mutual interests in history, politics, etc.  We’re not having these super deep conversations every night by any means, but they are something about our relationship that I have always enjoyed and I don’t see going away. 

Post # 6
Member
905 posts
Busy bee

hunnybunchesok :  I would say we are both great listeners. My SO is very analytical, and I am extremely logical. I feel we mix well, and both have exceptional ways to commuicate our thoughts without letting disagreements arise. Even when we begin to argue, we both never let it get to yelling or anger. We can talk about anything, politics, religion, modern news, and we never flinch at the others perspectives, we just talk about them all. So yes, we talk a lot. There are moments when we enjoy the peace,a dn we can be doing our own thing, but for the most part, when we talk or bring up a topic, we can talk about it for hours, and I mean hours. We end up havign to cut it short at the end bc we often go well into our sleep schedule. 

 

Just depends om the couple and how they are as individuals. 

Post # 7
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

We’ve been together 8 and a half years, and I’d say have a ‘deep’ conversation every couple of weeks which go for hours. Day to day we talk about everything and anything.. we tend to both be talkers some days and quiet others so when we’re both in a talkative mood conversations can run into the night. It’s usually about future topics such as buying a house and where we’d live, kids and just general chat about family. Other days as ppl have said it’s nice just being in.the same space. 

Post # 8
Member
2298 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

The longer we’ve been together I think the less often we have deep conversations. We already know how we feel about religion, politics, kids, relationships, etc. We usually just talk about dumb stuff during a normal day about our work day, the pets, family, what’s happened that day, etc. It’s more on the weekends going out to eat or something when we have deeper talks. 

I do remember when we started dating we had deep conversations like every day or every other day. I’m curious if other couples are the same? 

Post # 9
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

“The longer we’ve been together I think the less often we have deep conversations. We already know how we feel about religion, politics, kids, relationships, etc. We usually just talk about dumb stuff during a normal day about our work day, the pets, family, what’s happened that day, etc. It’s more on the weekends going out to eat or something when we have deeper talks.”

Same. We’re usually worn out by the end of the work day, so we don’t usually have deep conversations in the evenings. Sometimes it’s politics, but usually just day to day stuff. When we go out and spend time together, we talk a lot, about pretty much everything.

Post # 10
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - Kelowna, BC, Canada

We’ve been together over 6 years and sometimes (depending on schedule, tiredness, etc) we will lay in bed talking for hours. About anything and everything. On a day to day basis we will talk a lot too. We went for a 45 min walk today and talked the entire time. I can truly say that this guy is my best friend.

Post # 11
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2019

My fiance is so different from anyone I have ever met in the sense that I have felt comfortable telling him everything since I first met him. I am usually a pretty friendly yet closed off person when it comes to deeper subjects. Luckily for me, my fiance shares the same thirst for knowledge that I do and we fact share/learn new things together almost every day.  However I’d say our really deep conversations about life and the most important things in this world happen about once every other week- if we’ve both been drinking .. I find a lot of traumatic conversations are best left to me talking to my mom and grandmother because I think many men have trouble dealing with social drama but in terms of intellectual conversation and life views my fiance is a one and a million. Nothing will ever be perfect but he fulfills me.. best of luck!!

Post # 12
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Darling Husband and I like a good deep chat, we sit up in bed and chat away for hours about anything really- but thats just us X

Post # 13
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

hunnybunchesok :  We talk a lot. Lately we talk even more because we are buying a house so we’re constantly conversing about money, mortgage forms, what the lawyer said, furniture we want, home projects we want to do, what we’d serve to eat when we have a housewarming party, etc.  Communicating was a BIG thing for me though, I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone that I couldn’t bounce 90% of my thoughts off of, but that’s my personality, not everyone is like that. You want to be with someone that you can be yourself around. If you’re not a big talker you probably wouldn’t have as good of a relationship with someone that’s prying conversation out of you all the time. So I’d say there’s nothing wrong with not having “deep conversation” as long as you feel happy and comfortable in your relationship

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