(Closed) For those who are Childless by Choice (question)

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

jalapenocupcake:  Sorry, I didn’t mean to be snarky!

My story:

I have four brothers, all with children. My (late) mother always used to say that “it’s not the same” when your sons give you grandchildren, and that grandchildren from a daughter are the ones people tend to bond with the most (I guess what she meant is that her daughter in laws tended to rely much more on their own mums with anything child-related, than with my mum, their mother in law). She felt that it would be different if it was me who gave her a grandchild.

I always made it very clear that I didn’t want children (remember, my mum had 5 herself, so she was always baby crazy). For many years I think she thought I would change my mind (when I grow up, then when I fall in love, then when my biological clock starts ticking). Well, I went through all those milestones unchanged, which didn’t surprise me.

My cousin is one year younger than me, and fell pregnant (unwanted pregnancy) in her early 20s. She has become, I regret to say, a not too good mother, has a bad relationship with her son, and seems to focus all of her regrets on him.

I feel that my mother may have been saddened by my not giving her grandchildren, but it could have been worse, I guess. Because I know I would not be a good mother.

In any case, it’s my life, my choice etc. And my mum sadly passed away a year ago, and I am 42 and if I had had kids to please her, it would be me stuck with them now!

No regrets.

 

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