For those who found out the gender….

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 76
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2016 - The Great Southern Club

tm6173 :  we did not have a gender reveal party.  I COULD NOT wait to know as i have had a miscarriage before and was extra antsy. We did the harmony test and i was dying to find out the results of not only the sex but the genetics testing!

i think if you wanted to have immediate family over for a cake cutting or balloon thing or something that would be fun. i considered that but i really did not want to wait to find out.

my husband and I found out together in the dr office. They printed out a little poem and we read it together. it was a BOY 😀

Post # 77
453 posts
Helper bee

tm6173 :  I found out from genetic testing (via phone call results) at 11 weeks. I knew how badly my husband wanted a boy, and we are having a boy, so I immediately texted 2 of my girlfriends, called my mom, and went out to buy a boy onesie to “tell” my husband that night when I got home. I was so excited. 


We did not do a gender reveal party. I announced the gender when I announced our pregnancy on social media at 18 weeks, but all of our friends and family already knew (from being told in person/via phone/text after we found out). I probably would have done a gender reveal party with just family and closest friends, but we were living a 4 hour plane ride from our families at the time for my husbands job. If we had done the party, I would want at least myself (and probably husband) to already know, and we would be revealing it to friends/family.

Post # 78
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think it is really odd to celebrate someone’s sex.  In addition, 20 weeks is also the automy scan, which is when people using find out if anything is wrong with their baby.  God forbid the baby is sick and you have a huge gender reveal party planned, you’d either have to cancel the party or feel really upset at the party.  You already have baby showers- that is enough of a party.  

We found out at the appointment.  It was just the ultrasound tech telling my husband and me and it was really special.   We told our parent’s after, and anyone who asked.   We didn’t make a huge deal about it.  

Post # 79
1215 posts
Bumble bee

We found out during the ultrasound, I burst into happy tears, my husband teared up as well, the tech kept on chatting and measuring…  Maybe it wasn’t the most glamorous or “staged” reveal, but I still smile at the memory.  We also had both our parents waiting anxiously for us to call, in timezones 10 hours ahead, so there was no time for or interest in an elaborate reveal (my mum was at a movie theatre and literally ran out mid-movie when she saw me calling).

As long as you understand that excepting immediate family and close friends, most people don’t really care, then I think its OK to have your party. I did consider having a reveal for about 5 seconds but then I thought about how I would not be interested at all in attending a reveal party, so I have no reason to believe anyone would be interested in attending mine. Maybe your friends are different, but much as I know our friends are so happy for us, I know they would rather spend an afternoon/evening doing other things.

Post # 80
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

We found out and just had the ultrasound tech tell us, we told our close family and friends and then made a post on social media, the only reason we even revealed it was because people wanted to know for shower gifts. I’m not really a fan of reveal parties, I just think they are a little over the top and not something people in my social circle do or would get excited about, but some people really enjoy them. 

Post # 81
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Brielle :  Gender and sex are no longer considered interchangeable terms, they don’t mean the same thing. 

Post # 82
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We had a gender reveal baby shower for our first! It was so much fun! Me and hubby knew the gender and everyone else found out at the shower! We revealed it to both our parents first about 20 mins prior to the announcement. We took them aside.  We had a girl and about 33/45 guests guessed we were having a boy.  Seeing the reaction from everyone was priceless!!! 

We didn’t find out the gender until baby was born for my 2nd one.  And it was still sooo awesome!!! The feeling was amazing! 

Honestly, it’s your choice. Who cares what people think. It’s your baby… you do whatever you want! If you want to do a gender reveal bc it’s exciting, go for it! But I think it’s better to do one party (gender reveal baby shower) if you’re going to reveal, as opposed to two separate ones.

Post # 83
11457 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

peegee :  With respect, just because some people have now decided that they believe this is true, and there are some people who are now teaching others that it is true in academic settings, does not mean that it is true. Nothing I am saying negates the fact that there are some individuals who, later in life, decide that they personally identify themselves as being a different gender than their birth gender.

Post # 84
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

tm6173 :  We didn’t do a gender reveal party. Simply because I dislike them, and also we don’t live near family.  We had the sonographer tell us the gender and then took a cute picture and showed people. We called our parents and told them the news.

Post # 85
863 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

Brielle :  The dictionary distinction between “sex” and “gender” is not a new one. 

Gender = the state of being male or female (typically used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones).

Anyway, we don’t have children, but we are TTC. I would not do a gender reveal party unless it were combined with a baby shower because it just seems like an extra obligation for people. My husband and I would probably find out the sex and would probably tell immediate family. But I would probably not tell most people the sex ahead of time, especially if it were a girl because I wouldn’t want to get all pink stuff. I wouldn’t mind people knowing that it was going to be a boy (if that makes sense). 

Post # 86
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I actually think gender reveal parties are adorable and fun/exciting, but they’re just not for me! I had my son in November, but when we went for our 20w scan, we just had the tech tell us. Part of me wishes that I’d had her write it down so that we could find out in private, because I cried (happy tears) & made a fool of myself… BUT I’m suuuuper impatient! Haha.

I just don’t like being the center of attention, I’m the type who gets really awkward and does jazz hands for no reason when all eyes are on me. It was bad enough having a bridal shower, wedding, and baby shower all in the same year. 

Post # 87
902 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

☺️I think they are sweet! And not meant to be taken so seriously lol…just another fun way for everyone to celebrate a new member of the family.

Post # 88
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

tm6173 :  Wow.  Such controversy over a party and semantics.  Many of these people seem so caught up in what other people think…but they’ll also be the first to insist that they don’t care.  The whole gender/sex thing and arguing over political corectness is exhausting and pointless.  When actions of one or many infringe on the rights of another, is generally when it’s appropriate for something to be said or done in response.  Being an asshole is much worse than using a word someone might think is not the best word to use in any given situation.   Not everything that is PC today will be so tomorrow or in the next 10, 20, 100 years, etc… I wish this time and energy could be spent in more productive ways; making the world a better place to live perhaps…not arguing over whether or not someone should have a baby party.  However, that is not what this website is for…and if it were, it would not be as interesting to read.  This place is generally a total shit show that satisfies my addiction to mindless drama when there is not a new episode of Southern Charm or Below Deck airing on Bravo.  

I cannot believe that it appears to be mainstream on this site to not identify your child as a gender until they eventually decide what they are.  After birth, if people ask if its a boy or a girl, do they take offense and let the person know that it hasn’t decided what it will self-identify as yet?  That seems a little ‘extra’ to me.  Yuck…the new usage of that word make me cringe.

Anyways, back the topic you were actually trying to post about: we were going to do a small party with our family and close friends as we hadn’t had a get together for awhile and enjoy opportunites to catch up with our friends and family (‘tacky’, I know). Unless you throw super shitty parties, I’m not sure your friends and/or family would be pissed you’re having one and/or think it’s ‘tacky’ or ‘extra’.  Plans changed when we lost the baby, so we cancelled the party.  Now that would have been a shitty party. 

We got pregnant again in April and I just took the NIPT test on Wednesday.  We will find out next week.  We just bought a new house, work is crazy, morning sickness is rough and our puppy is kindof an asshole, so we’re just going to do something between the two of us and announce the GENDER (oh snap!) with scratchers revealing the SEX by mailing them to close family and friends.  I’m going to have my Dr.’s office send the results to my baker and have her make a small cake for us to cut at a restaurant after dinner one night next week.

“you want to do something little with family or make it part of your shower, fine.” hahaha!

Whatever you do, just remeber to make sure it’s something little with family or incorporated seemlessly with your shower so it will be acceptable to ajillity.

Have fun!  Life’s too short to constantly be concerned with meaningless rules or the opinions of others.

Post # 90
1493 posts
Bumble bee

I personally would not. They place to much emphasis on one aspect of being a person. And as a future parent I want to minimize as much as I can the sterotypes associated with being either male or female. 

Serious question for those who want a reveal party. Would you still do one if your doctor said your child was intersex? I’m sincerely curious

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