(Closed) For those who have a B list…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We kept back a percentage (number we guessed would not come from A list) and actually had some different invitations that matched the theme but were printed at home after getting rsvp’s back.  Some no’s come back quickly… so maybe 2 weeks to 1 month difference based on the number invited to your wedding.  Ours went out exactly 2 1/2 months before the wedding with an rsvp cutoff of Dec. 1st, a month before the wedding.  Secondary invitations went out in waves as rsvps came in, starting the first week of November.  None went out after Thanksgiving.

The secondary invitation was very nice By The Way.  It was hard to tell which one was the more expensive version.  The first had a black pocketfold for the inserts and the second had a foil silver pocket without a separate reception and registry card.

Post # 4
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

If you do a search for “A/B List” on the upper. right side of the screen…you will find several threads that were started about this topic.  Hope it helps!

Post # 5
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@stressedbride2be:  You’re going to have some overlap where the B-listers go out before all the A-listers have responded. What will happen is that some of the A-listers will respond immediately and you’ll need to use those responses as an indicator of what the rest of the A-listers will do. Then you pull the trigger on the B-listers.

For example, if you have an aunt and uncle with 6 adult children (each +guest or spouse, maybe some +child) and you’re uncertain if they’ll come, if the aunt and uncle and one of the kids come back “no”, you can reasonably assume that the rest will probable come back the same way.  Then pull the trigger on some B-listers.

As far as timing, the greatest gap you can go is 8 weeks out on the A-listers and 4 weeks out on the B-listers.  And that assumes the B-listers are all local.  If some B-listers are out-of-town, you need to go 6 weeks at the latest for them (especially since I assume you didn’t send them a STD). 

 

 

 

Post # 8
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@stressedbride2be:  Hmm.. Only you know the situation, but I wouldn’t invite any B-listers from Trinidad – either put them on the A list or no invitation. 

Think about it:  since I assume they didn’t receive a STD (if they did, you need to invite them), they haven’t planned for the trip.  So if you send them an invitation 4 weeks before the wedding, they’d get it 3 weeks before the wedding, and they’d need to immediately plan airfare, hotel, request time off work, and apply for a non-immigrant visa to the US (which takes 1-2 weeks on it’s own).  And that’s assuming they already have passports from Trinidad.

That’s really unreasonable to expect, so you’d really need to invite them 6-8 weeks before the wedding to give them time to plan their trip to the US.  And that’s the time you should be sending out A-list invitations. 

B-listers are usually local people (or at least people that can drive to the wedding) that you can invite closer to the wedding and know that it’s not a huge hurdle for them to plan attending in that time span.  People that have to fly to the wedding (and especially internationals) shouldn’t be on a B-list.

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