(Closed) For those who waited til marriage…

posted 6 years ago in Christian
  • poll: How many times a week do you and DH have sex?
    1-3 : (15 votes)
    54 %
    4-6 : (7 votes)
    25 %
    7-9 : (2 votes)
    7 %
    10+ : (4 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3968 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @glitter86:  I waited over 1.5 years (with my SO) to have sex for the first time, and I was very nervous, I found it was very painful in the beginning, and it took a long time to become more comfortable emotionally and physically, so once the waiting was over, things picked up very very slowly. It has only gotten better over time, but immediately after the waiting period, I had to take it very slowly.

    ETA: I did not wait til marriage, though I did consider waiting til marriage (not for religious reasons though), but I am glad I changed my mind and was able to share that with my SO (hopefully soon to be FI!!), but I totally respect/commend all bees, who regardless of the reason, wait for sex with the right person.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We waited till marriage.

    It was difficult early on because we wanted to have sex but it hurt me and we were still on the learning curve, so the honeymoon was super fun but it’s not like we could have sex 3 times a day–even once a day I was sore for.

    It got easier and better every time and after a few weeks/maybe a month it never hurt at all unless we’re particularly rough. We’ve been married for almost a year now and we probably have sex 2-3 times a week–depends on schedules/how tired we are/what I’m wearing (lol)/etc.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I waited and the actual act isn’t happening as much as I would like for the future and as much as I know my husband would like right now. But we have to take it slow and that’s the nature of us waiting. I know it won’t be like this for the rest of our lives, and I’m really waiting for that day already. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3968 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @glitter86:  LUBE YES IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. My problem was more… being tense down there… without realizing it, so lube isn’t going to help with that! But it does make you feel a little better, less chaffing, etc, especially when you’re not going at it all crazy right away, you get dried out. I suggest water-based ones like the WET brand or ID Glide.  I think you’ll find your Darling Husband is very patient… at least with my SO he did not pressure me to “assist him” when I was trying to emotionally prepare myself for this new part of our relationship. But yes, I think you’ll find any intimate activity that gets him “there” will be appreciated… I should point out that SO had had sexual experience before, so I was very grateful for his patience.

    ETA: I know this is on the Christian board and while I am not, I would be willing to talk via PM if you need advice/reassuring, etc. πŸ™‚

    Post # 9
    Member
    466 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Lube is definitely your best friend. My favorite so far is Astroglide…it doesnt have the sticky feeling on your hands or anywhere else afterwards. The stuff is amazing, it will get an 18 wheeler into a 1 car garage. Im just saying.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t have anything to add, as Fiance and I are waiting as well. I just wanted to thank you ladies for your advice so far, and any more that’s coming that pops up … advice. (everything sounds dirty in an intimate thread!)

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    11391 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    We did not wait until marriage. We have been together over 5 years & still have sex multiple times a week. πŸ˜‰

    Post # 15
    Member
    7293 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I suggest turning intimate times into something more than just sex or a number of times per week! You will have so much stuff to learn and talk to each other about πŸ™‚ Take time for kissing, exploring, touching and foreplay- and even experimenting with new things!

    Your actual sex time ( assuming penis inside vagina til male finish ) may not be super long in the beggining, its going to be something you work on to gain longevity. There are all types of tricks and things, but don’t worry you have your whole marriage to be long lasting experts πŸ˜‰

    My recommendation to the ladies specifically: Get to know what you like and what feels good . and if you already know how to make yourself orgasm, communicate that! Give as much feedback to your man as possible and also don’t be shy to ask him what feels good for him if he isn’t already vocalizing it. Intimacy is about each person serving the other πŸ˜‰ Your husband will likely be able to have his needs met very easily ( and there will be a visual/physical confirmation), while woman often take much longer to reach a climax and it something completely internal.

    I’ve been married and having sex for almost 6 months, and I can promise that things will be great once you reach the other side! I know there is a lot to fret over but don’t! If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask or just PM me! 

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