(Closed) For Waiting bees of “commitment phobe” SO’s

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Devil’s Advocate here… would he have learned all those lessons if she hadn’t said “no way”?  Would they be together for good today if they hadn’t had the time apart to realize what they wanted out of life/love/each other?  

Post # 4
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I like that quote a lot… Maybe we should start an inspirational quotes thread to help us with the waiting.

Post # 5
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

@inspiredcreations: Exactly how I feel. He had some thinking to do and came back ready to commit, which might never have happened if they were still in that comfort zone together. Sometimes discomfort is necessary to bring positive change; and in the end, they are together but much happier than if she had stayed in the first place and endured a situation that she was not happy with.

Post # 6
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

@inspiredcreations:  I totally agree with your assessment. Waiting is fine if you know that it is a common goal. Her guy was hemming and hawing and not sure…I think he needed the shake up to see what she really meant to him. I think if the girl had just waited he’d still be hemming and hawing.

Post # 7
Member
5 posts
Newbee

I love that quote and totally relate.  This post really makes me think….and it proves that the hardest thing is usually the right thing to do. Being seperated is what this guy needed in order to realize the value of his relationship. 

Post # 8
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Lovely quote..

Post # 9
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You know, sometimes you have to go through the bad to get to the good. Sometimes you gotta lose what you love to realise just how much you love it. I doubt they would be in the same place as they are now if they hadn’t gone through all this heartache.

Post # 11
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

That really is a beautiful quote!  I agree, I do think certain people are sent to us for a reason 🙂

Post # 13
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

I like this post a lot!  I don’t think my SO is a commitment phobe and he has made it clear that he sees me in his future.  I do not have a timeline, frankly I just don’t understand the concept at all but I see it happens a lot. 

 

On the girl you spoke of…I’m glad that things worked out.  I don’t know that it would have worked for everyone!

Post # 14
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I like that quote. I’ll haved to bookmark this thread and refer to it when
I have a bad waiting day. Thank you for posting this.

Post # 15
Member
42 posts
Newbee

I am on my period and almost cried at that quote. HAHAHA! that is a very interesting story.

I am in the same boat as you! and just a few days ago I had a talk with my SO. We have had maybe 3 talks about our future/marriage together and he is one of those DUCKS IN A ROW type of guys. (AHHHH) We live together, he treats me like a princess, I know that he loves me and has told me he sees us together but he feels like he is in no position in life/financially to be married and he doesnt know how long it is going to take him to reach that point.

(together a little over 2 1/2 years, lived together for almost 2 years, get along great,hardly fight)

He had been acting weird the last week or so and I asked him about it. He tells me he has been feeling pressure. (The last and 2nd “marriage” talk was about 3 weeks ago , the first about 4 – 5 months ago) and I have not said a word about it since, so i was confused about why he felt “pressure”  I asked him why  and he says it is because he knows that it’s what I want.

I feel like that kind of sucks because I dont want him to feel pressure and him just knowing that I want to move forward in the next 2-3 years makes him feel that way. ( or he can read my mind hahaha)

 

anyway so I suggested that I move out. I dont want him to feel pressure and If we continue to live together I feel I might end up resenting him. we talked and talked but ended up falling asleep. when i get home from work the next day he tells me that he wants us to keep living together, that he loves me, and to just be patient. I AM SO CONFUSED. He just cant get past DUCKS IN A ROW and it makes me sad but I have to respect it. 

arrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh uncertainty kills.Frown

Post # 16
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@CupcakeLove: I agree, I wonder where they’d be if she’s taken him back easily.

Fiance and I dated for a year before he started turning into a jerk… long story short, I let him hurt me and lie to me for 7 months until he ended it to pursue another girl. I was heartbroken and for 4 months I was miserable without him. He finally came to his senses, and once I trusted him again we got engaged, and we’ve been happier than ever before for the last year. But if we had not gone through all that heartache we would not appreciate each other as much as we do now, so I don’t regret a single bit of it- it all happened for a reason.

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