Post # 1
Okay, quick question for all the moms.
I am spending the next 8 days at disneyworld with my in-laws, sister in law and eleven month old nephew. They live overseas where I will be moving in a few months.
My nephew is the greatest baby on the planet….. rarely cries, happiest baby, he is ridiculously good. And I think he is doing Amazing with the travel etc. But the last few days his mom/ in laws, have been struggling to feed him. He still has 3 formula bottles a day, plus he is eating a good breakfast. For lunch/dinner though, he isn’t eating. Here is the issue….. They are force feeding him. At lunch today, they held his arms so they could give him applesauce. He made himself sick. So they kept putting a bottle in his mouth, over and over. So he is screaming. And I want say “he isn’t hungry!” I nicely brought up questions about feeding him and they told me that he will just starve himself and then be too hungry to eat. Fifeteen minutes later they were fighting to get formula down ( he never took it, but then drank it in the car a few hours later)
Am I being one of those “I think I know better even though I don’t have kids, and I think mine will be perfect”?…… Is this how you feed your kids.
I have noticed that there are some slight differences in how kids are raised there (when I mentioned our babies will sleep in our room for 6 months, they thought I was nuts) so I want to know if this normal or will be something I gave to deal with. In my opinion, he ate solids too early, I think they give him too big of pieces of food for someone with four teeth. And his grandparents were giving him small pieces of sugar etc. when he was WAY too young. So I will have to put my feet down with some of these things.
P.s….. His Mom is a great mom, very educated on kids….. It’s not like they get bored and just overfeed the baby.
oh, and we are currently TTC which is why I am paying so much attention.
Post # 3
@nonapkns: That imagery was too much for me. Unless there is some medical condition that warrants this, a child will eat when he or she is hungry. Yikes.
Post # 4
I don’t have any kids of my own, but I did work at a daycare with that age group so take this however you like… but no, in my experience, that’s definitely not normal. There were certainly some times when the babies wanted the food more than others. Sometimes you needed to wait 15 minutes or do a fancy trick with the spoon or something, but never did we actually force feed a baby! There’s a huge difference between pushing a spoon or the nipple of their bottle up to their lips and holding the baby’s arms down to shove it down their throat.
Post # 5
No one should be “force” feeding a 11 month old. That is border line on child abuse. He will eat when he is hungry. With all the excitement he just probably isn’t in the mood food right now
Post # 6
I am not in favour of “force feeding” kids as you describe it
That doesn’t sound good to me… for either side of the equation (child or parent)
But I do know that every child (and parent) is different.
And so what you think you know as a “by stander” BEFORE you have kids of your own… might not jive with what actually be YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE IN REAL LIFE
I have seen kids that are “go by the book” kids, as well kids that develop sooner or later
I have seen kids that have been breast fed for eons (years)
And kids that were more independent, taking control of their own bottle, or drinking out of cup “as babies”
I’ve seen kids who were literally hungry all the time on a bottle, and so had to be supplemented with small amounts of water downed pablum at around 2-1/2 to 3 Months (a normal Baby begins somewhere around 4 to 6 Months)
Hope this helps,
PS… You’ll find you’ll get a wide range of comments on your plans for Baby Sleeping arrangements. Many Parents putting their newborns to be in the Nursery away from Mom & Dad. I personally kept the kids in our room for the first few months (under 3). Usually for MY CONVENIENCE / PEACE OF MIND… and while they were feeding thru the night. Once they were sleeping thru the night… they went off to the Nursery, so I could get a better nights sleep for myself (and still hear them if they cried etc)… but I wasn’t up any longer at each gasp or sigh
Post # 7
I’ve never heard of any living thing (especially a baby) that would get TOO hungry to eat later??? :/ no.
Post # 8
@nonapkns: I don’t have kids, but it sounds like they are trying to force him to get on the eating schedule they want. I’m sure eventually it gets to that point, but right now, it seems like they aren’t going about it the right way. Take my thoughts for what they are though, the thoughts of a childless person!
Post # 9
@nonapkns: no. Just no. They should not force the baby to eat. The baby will not safe himself. My daughter has gone two days before just eating crackers, them she decided she was hungry and ate 3 pieces of pizza. This is totally totally wrong and they need to cut back on the formula..
Post # 10
I don’t have kids yet but my knowledge of them is that they naturally eat when they are hungry. Feeding children more than necessary or a poor diet leads to obesity and learning to eat when you aren’t hungry. This sounds really sad for the baby :/
Post # 11
Mine is grown but I remember this phase well. I just let him eat when he was hungry.
Post # 12
I don’t have kids yet, but I’m pretty certain that no one should be force feeding a child. Ever.
One of my cats had to be “force” fed as a kitten by me, but it wasn’t forced. She just didn’t like having to be fed that way, but couldn’t eat any other way at that point.
That kid can eat JUST fine on it’s own.
Post # 13
I have a 16 month old son that used to be very very picky, but we never got to the point where we were holding him down. That’s probably one of the worse things to do since they’ll start to asociate mealtime with being held down/crying. It’s hard and I understand how stressful it can be when we believe our kids aren’t getting enough food (my ds is going through a rough patch right now), but we have to learn to trust that they know when they are hungry and when they’re not.
The best thing to do is to provide snacks for when they decide they’re ready to eat. Toddlers are always on the go and it can be difficult for them to want to sit still and eat a proper meal.
Post # 14
I doubt there are too many kids who ever intentionally starved themselves to death. They will eat when they are hungry.
I wouldn’t however allow my kids to choose just crackers or pizza. They are offered a selection of healthy foods at each meal and in between. They eat what they want in the amount they want from the foods offered.
Post # 15
Re-reading it, “force feeding” might be a little harsh. they had been trying for ten minutes or so, he was in the stroller, grand-dad held his arms and while he screamed, mom put five spoonfuls in. (though, that doesn’t sound much better does it?)
Thia gas happened a few days in a row (though today was the worst) so I asked his Mom…. He has always been tall for his age but at weight or just under. So he isn’t wasting away.
Post # 16
There are variations in parenting philosophies, and then there’s just straight up WRONG. Breast milk/formula is the primary source of nutrition for babies under a year. Force feeding a baby like that is just idiocy.