(Closed) Force feeding a one year old?

• stardustintheeyes
• 7 years ago

• Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

• Phamnomenon
• 7 years ago

• Wedding: September 2015

FI’s little cousins have this issue with their parents (well, their dad – FI’s uncle) as well.  All three of them have been forced to eat to the point of throwing up multiple times.  Their dad forces them to eat as a result of how he grew up.  FI’s family (grandparents, mother, and uncles/aunts) emigrated from Vietnam to the US at the end of the Vietnam War and lived in poverty for many years; the whole family deals with hoarding food to this day as a result of living through the war.  So, the grandparents forced the mother/aunts/uncles to eat every scrap of food that was available, and the mother/aunts/uncles passed that habit down to FI/siblings/cousins.  FI has been trying for years to get past the overwhelming urge to clean his plate (and that of anybody sitting near him).

I will NOT force-feed our children or allow them to be force-fed, and I won’t bully them into finishing everything on their plate.  I don’t want our mealtimes to turn into battlegrounds, and it’s so dangerous to override their natural hunger cues when they’re so little.  FI’s cousins are picky, yes, but I know nothing looks good to me when I’m not hungry, either!  We’re just going to offer tiny portions and let our kids know they can always have seconds if they’re still hungry.

• kate02121
• 7 years ago

• Wedding: August 2012

O no. This is so sad. I’m not one to question parenting philosophies that are different than mine or before I have my own kids, but this is just terrible. 

RE your latest update, one and a half bottles AND a handful of pees AND cookies sounds like more than enough meal to me! It’s not like the kid didn’t eat anything. Poor thing. 

• MexiPino
• 7 years ago

• Wedding: October 2015

I know things are done differently overseas. My friends read this super popular book called “Bringing Up Bebe” that talks about the way French people raise babies. It’s ALL about keeping a set schedule and regulating everything. So much so that when I visited the hospital the day after the baby was born they were refusing to feed him even though he wouldn’t stop crying and wasn’t wet “because he just ate 40 minutes ago and it isn’t time yet”. Um… he “ate” like .25 ounces of formula you crazy people! And he’s not even 24 hours old! FEED THE KID!!

But, honestly, now that he and my “American raised” nephew are both 1, I see the benefits. That kids is totally regimented. He eats the same amount at the same time. Takes the same length naps at the same time. Goes to sleep and wakes up at the same time. They totally can plan their days down to the minute! My nephew sorta follows a schedule, but he might nap for 45 minutes at 11am or for 2 hours at noon. 

• MsJ2theZ
• 7 years ago

• Wedding: August 2012

Someone should really say something to them about this… It might have to be you. If you do, make sure it’s productive and fact based, and caring.

• Mischka
• 7 years ago

Wow.

That is seriously problematic behaviour from the mother. As PP’s have said, all she is doing is teaching her son to associate food with negative emotions and that can easily set him up to have an eating disorder (either eating too much or not enough) as a teenager.

I don’t have any advice, but I do understand the frustration you feel. I know a lady who has a two and a half year old who has 4+ bottles of milk per day and barely eats real food. She’s always complaining he never eats dinner etc. and it’s probably because half an hour before dinner was served he demanded milk and she gave it to him.

Some people are just oblivious to their terrible parenting.

• urchin
• 7 years ago

• Wedding: June 2012

This post made me sad 🙁 I cannot think of any reason that it would be ok to do that!

I just have experience with my one child. She ate like a champ when she breastfed, but when it comes to solid foods she has always been a grazer. Even at 2 years old, she rarely sits down and eats a whole meal. She grazes a lot during the day, which I think is ok!

I really hope there is some logical reasoning behind what they are doing…but it sounds so awful 🙁