(Closed) Forced to wear backless dress as bridesmaid

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
2028 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Do you have a picture of the dress?

I was in two weddings at five and six weeks post partum this past summer. One dress was strapless, the other I could wear a bra with it. I had cups sewn into the strapless dress and was honestly so much more comfortable in that dress. I snuck off to pump once in the evening for both weddings, and it was way easier to do in the strapless dress. Considering it’s the bride’s wedding day, and that you’ve agreed to be a bridesmaid, I would either take the dress to a seamstress and see if they can sew cups into it to make you feel more comfortable or, if the dress is too much of an issue, graciously bow out of the event without making any further fuss over the dress.

Post # 3
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee

Have you explained your concerns to the bride and/or other bridesmaids? Perhaps they would be sympathetic? You DO have a legitimate worry here, so I’d hope that they would respond kindly. If not, or if you’re not comfortable doing that, I’d suggest you let the bride know that it would be better for you to attend as a guest (though I would definitely provide some kind of explanation so that she doesn’t think you don’t support her marriage or something!). 

Post # 4
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Could you post a picture of the style? As the PP mentioned there are ways to put in cups or support into a lot of backless styles, maybe consider that first and then talk to the bride if you know for sure that’s not an option.

Post # 6
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think you could definitely have cups down in and make that dress quite supportive. Other than the cut out at the back the top looks quite sturdy and structured.

Post # 7
Member
558 posts
Busy bee

I recommend buying one of those stick on backless bras

Post # 10
Member
9236 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
jessiebear85 :  I don’t want to be rude but did you read the OP’s post? She will have given birth two months before the wedding and will be breastfeeding. A stick on bra will likely be a logistical nightmare with having to pump or feed her child and possibly painful given how a lot of women get sensitive nipples due to breastfeeding. 

View original reply
beebee19 :  I think you should speak to the bride and say this dress won’t work unless you are able to wear some sort of coverage all day that will hide a bra, like a cardigan. 

Post # 11
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

Hungry baby trumps wedding fashion. Negotiate with the bride assertively.

Here are the arguments you need to use.

You have to wear a bra because you might leak milk (most breastfeeding women do)and this could prove more than a little distracting in the.ceremony and the wedding photographs. Therefore you have to have some leeway when it comes to dress style. 

Post # 12
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee

I suspect you could easily add lace OR wear one of those…I don’t know what they’re called… shaped like a sports bra with a thick back but lacy and pretty? That would cover a bra for sure. 

But, given that you’ve said no one was supportive of your problem (hello, assholes much?), I could absolutely see them getting fussy that you have “lace on the back of your dress!! What the hell?! Now we don’t match!” and giving you crap for it. Maybe just…ya know… DO whatever YOU need to do for YOU and don’t bother running it by them. I kind of lost sympathy for their concerns the second you said that they didn’t care about your needs as a breast-feeding mother. 

Post # 14
Member
558 posts
Busy bee

Sorry I’m ignorant as I’ve never had a baby. My sister is my bridesmaid next month & she gave birth 3 months ago. She didn’t feel comfortable in the first dress I choose as she wasn’t back to pre baby weight. I think you should speak to the bride as she should be understanding like me. 

Post # 15
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not so much worried about your back as your front.

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