(Closed) Forced to wear backless dress as bridesmaid

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 61
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Also, the second wedding I was in this past summer was an adults-only wedding. My in-laws were able to come with us and look after our son while we were in the wedding, as my husband was also in the wedding. Is that an option?

Post # 62
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_long-bridesmaid-dress-with-lace-bodice-f19328_lace-bridesmaid-dresses

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_long-one-shoulder-lace-bridesmaid-dress-f17063_lace-bridesmaid-dresses

That is a David’s Bridal dress, and fortunately for you, there are 2 of the exact same dress with different neckline (see links above).  I still think you should be able to add more fabric to cover the back like I posted about above.  

But – if you decide to insist on a new dress, I would make sure you are able to show the bride both of these options.

Post # 63
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Ok so basically tell this bride if she wants half decent photos that dosent have leaky boobs photo bombing her pics she needs to accommodate you. 

Being away from the baby you are going to leak. Even if you pump you will leak. The first few months are the worst until your milk regulates.  If she can’t understand that your breasts are going to be heavy and dripping and you need to support them as well as protect the dress from leakage she’s a fluff headed ninny muggins. 

At the least have a back panel sewn in. I do like the bolero idea as well. Of course the best option would be a different dress. That neckline you won’t find a bra that’s not going to be visible. It seems totally inconsiderate. She asked you to be a brides maid. Now it’s on her to accommodate you qith a dress option that suits your needs. 

Post # 64
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

 

These two dresses are in the same family (same mesh bottom and lace top) as the dress the bride chose, so they are easy to mix and match. You can wear a regular bra (with clear straps) or a strapless bra with both these styles. Unfortunately, the dress the bride chose can only have cups sewn in or a sticky bra because the back goes pretty low. I would definitely talk to her about letting you get one of these two dresses. 

Post # 65
Member
4579 posts
Honey bee

 I can’t believe your friend expects you to leave your nursing baby!

Post # 66
Member
1196 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

There is no way I would leave an 8 week old baby at home.  Would you need to leave the baby for two nights?  That’s really not good for an infant or a nursing mom to be separated for that long.  Pumping is hard when you’re still trying to establish a nursing relationship.

I would bring the baby and talk to the bride about a different dress.  If not, I would stay home.  

Post # 67
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m small chested and even after having my baby, I leaked constantly as I had a very steady supply of milk.  Even I could not go out anywhere without wearing a bra.  That dress is pretty, but definitely not ideal for a breastfeeding mom two months post-partum!  You need support, not just for your breasts but also from your friend the bride!!  I would never have left my baby at home for a night if I was breastfeeding.  The first three months of breastfeeding are crucial for baby.  I think you should have a talk with the bride about this dress and leaving your baby to be in her wedding. She could be a little more understanding of your situation.  I probably would bow out of the wedding if it was me.

Post # 68
Member
10492 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
beebee19 :  

“Maybe I could get some lace added to the back covering the spot where I could wear a bra?”

That woudl be my suggestion too. No sewn-in cup,  much less a stick on , would be anything  like as supportive as a proper bra  for nursing (and already large) breasts.  I’d plan  on that and  politely but  firmly tell the bride you are doing it , and why.

Make sure the  lace you get is as close as possible. It could  be other fabric too, like the satiny stuff of the belt . I’d fill in the whole cutout not just the  bra strap area .

  ETA  just picked up bride wants you to leave the baby at  home! Nope, changed my advice ,   I would bow out altogether   

Post # 69
Member
6237 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
beebee19 :  never mind the dress. Your relationship with your baby and successful breastfeeding journey matters a lot more than being at this wedding. 

No children should not exclude babes in arms – very poor etiquette as it’s recognised you’re basically excluding the mother. People do it but it’s not good form. 

I appreciate your efforts to take part in the wedding but if you must go, please take your baby with you and ensure you can wear a dress you can bf in and feel comfortable. 

Post # 70
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
Post # 73
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
beebee19 :  We are still waiting for the dresses to come in.  So, no panels sewn in yet.  I’ll be honest, I am a little nervous about how it’s going to work out. But, it was the best option for us.

 

Post # 74
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

That’s the same dress my maid of honour is wearing! She also has huge boobs. David’s Bridal sewed cups in and she can literally jump up and down in it now!

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