Post # 1
I’m looking for a little guidance. On my 25th bday (we were together for 3 and a half years at this point) my now fiance “hypothetically” asked if I would marry him (like in the future) *what girl doesn’t love that?*
Throughout that next full year, we had conversations about things that we wanted for our wedding (my ring, venue ideas, traditions etc) yet still no proposal.
As my 26th bday approached I dropped hints…but my bday came and went with no proposal until about a month after.
Now a year later, as we approach our wedding 4-10-10. Last night, he states that the proposal was “FORCED”?!?! I’m sorry! Did I have a gun to his head? Did I when he “hypothetically” asked me a year prior? WTF?
And now I feel so upset and I don’t think he even sees it.
Anyone go through something similar? Any advice? I don’t know whether to call it off or sweep that under the rug (i.e. does it matter how we got here just so long as we still love each other and still want to get married?)
Post # 3
Did you ask him why he felt that way and how he feels about things now? A more in-depth discussion may help clear some of these feelings up. Right now you are thinking the worst (because that’s what the mind does)… but I bet together you can get to a more reasonable place 🙂
Post # 4
so he said he felt like he was pressured to propose but what about now? maybe he is feeling overwhelmed by the whole wedding process and needs to talk about it and blurted it out the wrong way
sending hugs and i hope things will seem better with some more time and talking
Post # 5
Since the proposal, he has always acted excited and constantly saying how he can’t wait to marry me. Which is why it’s so confusing and hurtful to hear what he had said about it being “forced.”
Post # 6
Hmm… Trying to figure this out… this is hard for you, I’m sure! Looking back, do you feel or think at any time that you put extra pressure on him at all? Did you ever bring it up, even jokingly, before he actually proposed? (I personally don’t see the prob in bringing it up once or twice, but that’s just me) If so, maybe that’s what he’s referring to. If you didn’t, and you were quiet & patient the whole time, I’m inclined to think he’s just stressed & feeling the strain from all the preparation & whatnot & he’s looking for an avenue for his frustration. Which if that is the case, should NOT be you. Hopefully he’s not just spewing out random crap because he’s stressed, but people do tend to do that. I’m as guilty as anyone so I can’t really talk too much on that issue.. Definately sit down & talk to him calmly. Ask him for instances during the course of your relationship that support the idea of the “forced” proposal. If he can’t think of anything, then obviously he’s just venting but clearly not going about it the right way. Let him know how much it hurts your feelings & how you really need to be on the same page right now, 3 months before you wedding! I hope you work it out!!