Forever girlfriend?

posted 1 year ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
290 posts
Helper bee

Youve known each other 10 years but it doesnt sound like youve been together 10 years. It doesnt sound like your relationship is ready for marriage.

Post # 3
Member
11115 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

irebrok1992 :  

Have you actually sat down and had an open, adult discussion with him about everything you’re saying here?

Post # 5
Member
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

If he isn’t proposing and won’t give you a timeline, it’s probably because he is not ready to commit to you. 

Post # 6
Member
1517 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

Sounds like you’re 26 and young, and need someone new who’s willing to stick around and commit.  I realize you have feelings for him, but it sure as hell doesn’t sound like he wants to settle down and you’re not going to be able to convince him otherwise.

Post # 7
Member
559 posts
Busy bee

If you want me to be completely honest here, I feel like you guys are playing “fillers” to each other.

He went into the Air Force, presumably while you were still together, and you didn’t speak for a long time and then all of a sudden he contacts you.

You break up with him because you feel like the relationship is headed nowhere and then you get back together with no change in the nature of your relationship and no new promises to the future. 

He won’t settle on a timeline because he doesn’t want to marry you but he comes back after you break up because he doesn’t want to be alone. You allow him to return even though nothing has changed because you view him as your quickest route to marriage. In the end you want commitment and he’s not delivering. Go find someone who wants to commit to you.

Post # 8
Member
4584 posts
Honey bee

It’s not a good idea to marry someone with whom you’ve had “several bad fights” just in the past year.

Post # 9
Member
1531 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

the fact that you guys have had ‘really bad fights’ and have broken up several times is a clear indicator that your communication with each other is weak at best and your conflict resolution  is also weak. 

You’re 26. Do you really want to marry someone you can’t resolve problems with? 

Saying and doing are two different things. What actions has he done to prove that he is husband material? Why is your life betting on what he dictates? What do YOU want in life? 

It’s been 10 years, don’t you think that’s long enough to get it together? 

Breaking up and getting back together is unhealthy. If you marry him, what actions have you all done to make it different this time? 

Getting married is a big commitment. What is the purpose of getting married at this point? 

If you’re not happy in your relationship, it’s time to buck up and move on with your life for real this time. 

OR put a consious effort on conflict resolution by doing things differently. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. 

So you have to read, go to counseling (by yourself), research, hone in, go away and find yourself. Who are you without your partner? What is the purpose of getting married? 

If you don’t know the answers, then you’re not ready. It just sounds like in my opinion a long case of ’round hole square peg’. 

Sorry Bee, I hope you figure it out. 

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