(Closed) “Forgetting” to send out invites?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m totally with you.  I know it’s rude, but there have been a few people that have been nothing but awful for the past few months.

Post # 4
Member
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would rather do a polite, but assertive break than be passive agressive.  But you will have to do what you feel most comfortable with.  There are very few circumstances where it is okay to “uninvite” someone after they have a save the date.  I would say that not acknowledging your future husband is one of them.

Post # 6
Member
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@laurn88:  Sincerely, good luck in whatever you decide to do.  I just hope they do not ask you where the invite is in a few months, cause damn that would be awkward!

Post # 8
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@laurn88:  If they can’t be supportive of your Fiance on what is HIS day (and yours, of course) then they absolutely shouldn’t be there.

I’m thinking of “forgetting” to send one to an ex-BM, actually, so I know it’s a tough decision, but I’m in the same situation with the limited number of guest spots, etc. You aren’t alone! I really wouldn’t invite them. Why invite people that won’t truly be happy to be there?

Post # 9
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Off on a tangent, I know–do people really have backup plans in case their cake gets dropped? Seriously? With all that this “friend” is “worried” about for your wedding, can’t imagine what they’ll be like when it’s their turn….

And yes, I would be very tempted to just forget the invite too.

Post # 10
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Ok those aren’t really negative comments towards you. They are the sort of things a pessimist would say and probably came from a place of geniune concern. it is probably a real worry to them and would probably cause them stress if it was their wedding. That could be why they have mentioned things/potential problems frequently because they can’t understand why you don’t find it stressful etc (as in your personality is different from theirs and they are finding it hard to comprehend much like you with theirs!)

I don’t think they were being malicious.

Rather than being passive agressive how about talking to them. They may not even realise how often they do it (much the same as those me me me people).

But you do have to accept that this is probably part of their personality and that you chose them as a friend for some reason (hopefully their good points) so why not focus on those things. And if you really can;t accept them for who they are then yes I think you should end the friendship but in an adult way.

Edited to say the ‘friend” who isn’t supportive of your marriage (becasue she dislikes your FI) well I guess it depends on how much of a friend she is. If it was my BFF then I would take her concern on board but a casual acquaintance yeah I would probably let them know they were no longer invited and why.

Post # 13
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@laurn88:  OK they don;t sound like people you want or should be friends with. I say talk to them and let them know why and mention everything you said here especially the mean things about strangers (it might make them see how bad they are to people). If you just distance yourself they will assume you are the b*tch (and others might to) and that they were right about you all along (if they have been talking about you behind your back). Stand up to them to try to make them see that they can nevr make another person feel like this again.

Post # 16
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@laurn88:  This person sounds so much like an ex friend of mine… notice I said ex. Super toxic, but for some reason only to me (even our other very close friends said they wouldn’t still be friends with her if they were me, given how she treated me). I really don’t regret letting the relationship go; you have to figure out what’s best for you.

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