- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
Two years ago I had a major falling out with my closest guy friend. My Fiance and I had taken a break to figure things out in our relationship. During this time my close guy friend told me he loved me. The feelings were not mutual and I was not interested in a serious relationship at the moment. Well, during this time that I was single, I was raped by a classmate at college. It’s something I rarely talk about and very few people know about. The only friend I had and trusted at the time was that guy friend and I told him what happened the next day. His reaction however hurt me. He told me I was a slut and that what happened was my fault and that I was dirty and should have said no. He didn’t understand how horrified and scared I was in the moment and how I could not fight back. My friend no longer saw me in the same light and I was feeling incredibly hurt and betrayed and like I could not trust anyone. We had a falling out and quit talking from that moment on.
Fast forward to now. The Fiance and I are together and happy, my Fiance knows about what happened to me and helped me to move on from it. I do occasionally think about my old guy friend and wonder how he is doing. I always cared for him as a close friend, and felt terrible to lose someone I was so close to. I have very few friends as I am a loner and he was one of three people I considered a true friend. Well just today, I noticed he requested to be my friend on FB (I had him deleted for all this time). I accepted the request and he started talking to me. He said he had been through a lot of manic depression over the past two years and had attempted suicide twice. His therapist suggested he go to all of the people he hurt in his past and get closure on the situations to make things right. He apologized to me and I forgave him. I had no idea I had such an affect on him and I feel guilty a bit because I know I was really mean to him when he hurt me. What he said to me was horrible, but it did help me to re-evaluate myself and what I had been through and learn to trust myself more and become more cautious with the people that I surround myself with. I told him that I forgave him because what we went through is a part of our past which helped me to become the person I am today.
Instead of being angry, I let it all go and told him thank you for helping me become the person I am today. I also told him that I’m sorry that what we went through had such an affect on his life but I’m glad we were able to talk about it and move forward with our lives. He currently found a girl he is in love with and I’m very happy for him, I’m even considering to ask him to play guitar for when I walk down the aisle.
I guess the point of my post is to share what I had been through. My closest friend victim-blamed me for being raped and I resented him for so long, but in the end, life is really too short to stay angry. It was truly a weight off my shoulders to tell him how I felt but still be able to have the strength to accept his apology and say thank you. I just wanted to share this experience, I’m just feeling very empowered and proud of myself for being able to take a horrible situation and still be happy at the end of the day.