(Closed) Forgiving MOH

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
12629 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just try to forget it.  Clearly it was a misguided joke.  The words can’t be taken back now, so all you can do is forgive and forget.

Post # 4
Member
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

What did she say?

And what other things did she do that upset you?

Post # 5
Member
5773 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

If her intention was to be funny and not malicious I’d try to forgive and forget. Also, it was probably a blip on the radar for everyone else that day.

Post # 6
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

What did she say?

Post # 7
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What did she say and what was the reaction of your other guests?

Post # 10
Member
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@carolsdaughter:  I guess there’s nothing to do but forgive her. I think her punishment will be everyone’s greatly diminished opinion of her after making such an inappropriate comment. [ETA: taking your word for it that it was inappropriate, since I don’t really know.]

Post # 11
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

OK, well what was the topic of the inappropriate joke? Its hard for any bees to say if you should forget about it, talk to her, or walk away from this close friend if we dont know how inappropriate it was.

Post # 13
Member
5982 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Public speaking is difficult even for the most well spoken of us, and out of all of it, getting laughs out of a crowd is truly an art….a lot of people will panic in the moment grasp at anything to get the ice over the crowd to melt.  It’s not for the faint of heart, some of us are great at it, and for others the crowd feels like it’s slowly watching the Hindenberg crash to the ground wreathed in flames….whatever she said, however inappropriate, it only reflects badly on her, not you and certainly not your day.  I can guarantee it was a desperate attempt to entertain that failed miserably and if you think you feel bad about it, I can promise you she feels gut twisting agony when she thinks about it…there’s nothing as bad as bombing.

Post # 14
Member
511 posts
Busy bee

@Nona99:  +1

I would gently say to her that you know that she was under a lot of stress, and feeling badly that her comments didn’t go over well, but that what she said hurt you and you’d really like to move past it. I’m sure she’s feeling as awful about it as you are.

Post # 16
Member
45655 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Forgiveness is a choice that you make. I find it helpful to put myself in the other person’s place.

If I had done this, would I hope that the other person would forgive me? Of course I would.

It would be a shame to sacrifice a long term friendship for a mistake in judgement.

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