Post # 1
(Not sure why it says wedding 2018) we just got married this past weekend.
One of my biggest regrets is that my now husband and I discussed a welcome speech a few days before the wedding but he decided we should just wing it. Turns out that is something I regret not taking charge of as I thanked my guests as a whole for coming but then drew a blank. During that speech I had planned on thanking our parents and some other special family members who helped decorate our venue. I also planned on explaining how I fell in love with my husband over the last few years since he did not want to write our own vows. Now the wedding is over but I want so bad to make up for missing that speech. I did go around individually to everyone to thank them but couldn’t brag enough about my husband since I needed to mingle with everyone..
do you think my husband and I should form a letter to give thanks and dote on each other a little (as we would have in our welcome speech) and send out with all the thank yous? Do you think that would be appreciated/romantic/cute? Or a waste of time?
Post # 2
Sorry but it’s over, let it go. It would have been sweet but obviously got lost within the flurry of the day. Try not to stress over little things.
Post # 3
Waste of time. A personal thank-you to those who helped would be more appropriate.
Post # 4
I’d just send individual *short* thank you letters aimed at your guests (don’t talk about your husband, the thank you is for the guest, so talk about them). Honestly, the speeches are the most boring part so I always think it’s nicer to do it one on one with the relevant people instead of making everyone else listen to you thanking someone else.
Post # 5
I would just thank them in your thank you notes. A lot of my thank you notes to people I’m close to talked about being grateful for my relationship with that person and not just the gift. I also thanked the people that helped me with my wedding and that kind of thing.
I wouldn’t say anything about falling in love with your husband really though unless that person played a role in it. People generally only really care about that when there’s some kind of funny/entertaining story behind it.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek
I would find it a little strange to receive a thank-you note in which the bride/groom explained their relationship/love for each other. I’m used to seeing that on wedding websites, hearing it in vows, and/or reading it on Facebook. I’d just send regular thank-you notes and make a special post on Facebook about your wedding and your relationship.
Post # 7
A do-over is not necessary and would be more than a little weird.
Post # 8
Let it go. Everyone there already knows that your think your husband is the peachy-keenest – presumably that is why you married him and they were all there to witness it.
If you thanked people individually, there is no need to be more indulgent and brag about them. Honest sincerity in the moment is nice…taking time out after the fact to send everyone a form letter bragging about some people can give the exact opposite impression that you are rubbing it in the noses of those who don’t get a mention that they weren’t as helpful. It can move from sincere to passive aggessive pretty quick. And honestly, as a guest, I’m not horribly interested in long speeches – “welcome everyone. We are so thankful that you could come celebrate with us and appreciate how you have all made this day so much more special.” Done. Going out of your way to personally thank people in private for their above and beyond always seems far more special to me anyway – that you are taking the time to personally seek me out instead of just namedrop me in one go with everyone else. At least that is my take.
Post # 9
irishgal56 : Your wedding was beautiful and I guarantee you that nobody missed that speech except you. Everyone who cares already knows your story. Anyone who doesn’t already know, doesn’t care. Maybe write HIM a letter if you want to tell him how much you love him, but don’t make things awkward by putting it into your thank you cards.
Because you specifically note that he didn’t want to write personal vows, and say you want to “dote on each other”, I wonder if what you’re truly yearning for is HIS public proclamation of love. He said I Do in front of all your friends and family — that’s quite a proclamation. If he’s generally loving and affectionate, I would try to find a way to be content with that. If he’s not warm, it’s odd that you’re just now realizing you have a problem with that, but maybe you could work together to find ways he can show his love.
In any case, don’t worry about the speech. Nobody has EVER said “it was a lovely wedding, but I wish the speeches had been longer.” Congratulations!
Post # 10
The letter with the thank you note is not needed. Would be kind of odd. Thank the guests for attending and personal thank yous to people who helped you with the wedding.
Post # 11
annabananabee : agree. Op, be careful if you decide to make a public thank you.
Last summer my SO and I attended a wedding of a good friend from childhood (mine not his). She, the groom, and the bridal party left directly after cutting cake and my SO and I thought it’d be helpful to stay and brake down the tables, linens, decorations, and all the equipment so the work wouldn’t fall all on her dad, aunt, cousin (her mother was washing dishes). She later made a public thank you to everyone, who helped with the wedding. Our names weren’t included. No it doesn’t really matter, however, I felt it wasn’t appreciated.
Just send everyone thank you cards with a meaningful thank you inside.
Post # 12
Thanks ladies! Thank you for your opinions and support. Everyone seems to be on the same page so that is helpful!
I love my husband dearly and looking back at photos and videos guests and my dad took, it was a very sweet and special ceremony and reception on an absolutely gorgeous day. So gorgeous our photographers lost track of time taking pictures in the gorgeous sunset. Looking back I feel the personal vows and/or speech would have allowed myself to become more emotional (as my husband was a little emotional while I was smiling ear to ear the whole time) and slow down the moment but I’ve read other stories of newly weds being in a fog of emotion. The day truly goes by in a flash. My husband even looks at some pictures and says he doesn’t remember some moments (he doesn’t drink) just a whirlwind of emotions on a jam packed evening. I can’t wait for our honeymoon in 3 weeks to be allowed to soak in our newlywed lives together as husband and wife. I will leave out the gushy love proclamation and stick to keeping the Thank Yous personal to each guest.
Post # 13
It depends. I you think there are certain people that are hurt that you didn’t do it and the letter would mean something to them, then do so. If you feel bad and it would make you feel better, that’s a good reason to do so too.
I don’t think you have to do it, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt if you really want to. Up to you.
Post # 14
I wrote a beautiful thank you speech the week before our wedding. And, I ended up leaving it at home. I stood up and said some awkward thing about how I made a sappy speech but forgot it and that we were super thankful for everyone spending time with us and then said “let’s eat” . If I could change it I would, but it’s done and over with. The few specific things I forgot to say that I really wanted to I just put in those people’s thank you cards.
Post # 15
Goodo. Thank you’s are fine but public, detailed declarations of love, how it progressed etc etc , spoken or written , are almost always excruciating. I never know why people even consider doing it , but then maybe I’m a bit too reserved .
Your wedding sounds lovely though !