Post # 1
With “event season” in full swing, Darling Husband and I have been attending our fill of graduations and weddings. I have noticed a new trend: the thank-you form letter. I have received two graduation “thank you” letters and one wedding “thank you” letter. These are generic letters that thank everyone and maybe offer some information about what the person/couple will be doing now that the graduation or wedding is over.
The wedding one literally said, “Whether it be a new furnishing for our home or the gift of money, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your support and generosity.” The bride then scrawled “Thanks, guys!” in her handwriting at the bottom of the letter that she had printed off her computer.
Is it just me or is that incredibly rude? Darling Husband and I spent weeks after our wedding sending out individual and personalized thank-yous to all of our guests. I would rather a bride and groom take more time in getting out thank-yous that are personalized and show that they actually know what we gave them!
Is this turning into a thing of the future, and do you find it to be rude? I am interested in your thoughts.
Post # 3
are you kidding me? Sigh.
Post # 4
SO rude. I’d honestly be a little miffed if I spent money and got a form letter back…
Post # 5
Wow. That is a new level of rudeness. Seriously, who would think that was okay?
Post # 6
This is depressing. Not to bring up another thread, but if people truly believe that there is no “wrong” anymore with these types of social situations/obligations, then this is what we, as a society, are going to get.
They might as well just created a check list and checked off “Thanks for the monetary gift!” instead of “Thanks for the household item” or maybe a good ol’fashioned fill-in-the-blank letter…I mean, REALLY?
I guess you are supposed to be grateful that they actually sent some form of thank you letter…?
Post # 7
It reminds me of the form letter in Catch-22 that read something like “Dear Father/Mother/Wife/Child of _______, we are very sorry to report that your son/husband/father has been reported killed/wounded/missing in action.” Nothing says “I care” like a form letter.
Post # 8
@ArwenBride: Exactly! And as sad as it is, we have given nice gifts to several people and heard nothing back from them in the way of a thank-you. I was raised to think that even if someone gives you something small, you still write a thank-you because they thought of you and felt like giving something to you!
Post # 9
@iarebridezilla: YES, you are so right.
Post # 10
I’d almost rather get no thank you than a form letter. At least then I could fool myself that it got lost in the mail.
Post # 11
I typically have a set order to my thank you’s (ie: thanks, mention gift, mention gift use, personal details, love/miss you) but an already printed thank you note?! WOW.
Post # 12
It’s hard to feel that a letter like that is expressing true, heartfelt gratitude.
I’m not sure which would bother me more, never hearing form the couple (or graduate) or receiving a letter that shows so little thought and effort that it’s apparent the sender is just trying to tick off an item on a “TO-DO” list, because she is supposed to do it.
Post # 13
@BooRadley: I think we all have that, but it changes depending on whom you are addressing, and you took the time to write a note to them. That’s wonderful, IMO!
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I’d be pretty pissed off if I got a thank you like that from anyone. I understand when children use fill-in-the-blank letters, but at least they have to put down what you actually gave them… and they are CHILDREN. This is really not okay.
Post # 15
@mrsSonthebeach: I vividly remember doing those when I was in kindergarten; the ones my mom gave me were shaped like a cow and said “Thanks for the Moooooolah.” Haha. But even those had a space where you were supposed to write in what you would use it for and sign your name in cursive! lol
Post # 16
I think this is super rude, too. FI laughs and thinks I’m being uppity & picky when I gripe to him about these types of thank you letters (“At least we got one at all!”) – but I really take issue with it. Guests take the time to attend your wedding & pick out a nice gift for you, and you can’t even personalize the thank you card a little???
Not wedding-related, but we recently sent a card and a generous check to FI’s out-of-state cousin who graduated high school. In the thank you card he sent us, it just said “Thanks for the gift. I’m sure it will come in handy in the future. -John” Now, I am SURE that thank you cards are a nuisance & not a high priority for an 18 year old guy – but come on. He couldn’t even say “Dear Jack & Jane”? Or “thanks so much for the money; I am planning on using it for [____] when I head to college in the fall”? I’m not going to hold a grudge over it or anything, but I was peeved. At least greet me & put my name in the card.