(Closed) "Form letter" thank-yous?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Are thank-you "form letters" rude?
    Yes : (61 votes)
    87 %
    No : (9 votes)
    13 %
    Other (explain below) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    5073 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    are you kidding me?  Sigh.

    Post # 4
    13289 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    SO rude.  I’d honestly be a little miffed if I spent money and got a form letter back…

    Post # 5
    174 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Wow. That is a new level of rudeness. Seriously, who would think that was okay?

    Post # 6
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    This is depressing.  Not to bring up another thread, but if people truly believe that there is no “wrong” anymore with these types of social situations/obligations, then this is what we, as a society, are going to get.  

    They might as well just created a check list and checked off “Thanks for the monetary gift!” instead of “Thanks for the household item” or maybe a good ol’fashioned fill-in-the-blank letter…I mean, REALLY?

    I guess you are supposed to be grateful that they actually sent some form of thank you letter…?

    Post # 7
    4415 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    It reminds me of the form letter in Catch-22 that read something like “Dear Father/Mother/Wife/Child of _______, we are very sorry to report that your son/husband/father has been reported killed/wounded/missing in action.” Nothing says “I care” like a form letter.

    Post # 10
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’d almost rather get no thank you than a form letter.  At least then I could fool myself that it got lost in the mail.

    Post # 11
    2335 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I typically have a set order to my thank you’s (ie: thanks, mention gift, mention gift use, personal details, love/miss you) but an already printed thank you note?!  WOW.

    Post # 12
    735 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    It’s hard to feel that a letter like that is expressing true, heartfelt gratitude.

    I’m not sure which would bother me more, never hearing form the couple (or graduate) or receiving a letter that shows so little thought and effort that it’s apparent the sender is just trying to tick off an item on a “TO-DO” list, because she is supposed to do it.

    Post # 14
    7901 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    I’d be pretty pissed off if I got a thank you like that from anyone. I understand when children use fill-in-the-blank letters, but at least they have to put down what you actually gave them… and they are CHILDREN. This is really not okay.

    Post # 16
    1111 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I think this is super rude, too.  FI laughs and thinks I’m being uppity & picky when I gripe to him about these types of thank you letters (“At least we got one at all!”) – but I really take issue with it.  Guests take the time to attend your wedding & pick out a nice gift for you, and you can’t even personalize the thank you card a little???

    Not wedding-related, but we recently sent a card and a generous check to FI’s out-of-state cousin who graduated high school.  In the thank you card he sent us, it just said “Thanks for the gift. I’m sure it will come in handy in the future. -John”  Now, I am SURE that thank you cards are a nuisance & not a high priority for an 18 year old guy – but come on.  He couldn’t even say “Dear Jack & Jane”?  Or “thanks so much for the money; I am planning on using it for [____] when I head to college in the fall”?  I’m not going to hold a grudge over it or anything, but I was peeved.  At least greet me & put my name in the card.

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