- 1 year ago
- Wedding: November 2018
I’ve been talking to my fiance, best friend and mom about this situation but I still feel down about it so I was hoping to turn to other brides.
About 3 years ago, I was good friends with a girl who was in an abusive relationship. I came over one day and she had bruises on her arm, I would pick her up and try to get her help but she never followed through. (She’s still with the same guy).
I would make plans with her to do stuff and then when it would come time to hang out she wouldn’t respond to my phone calls or texts, or would ignore me. At the time, I was a full time college student, an intern and had a part time job, so I just decided to not text her and focus on other parts of my life. Well, I get a text one day saying that she has been in the hospital for Pancreatitis and she was incredibly hurt that I did not see her in the hospital or while in rehab. I communicated that I was sorry but I tried to reach out to her but she blew me off. Well, she then told me that she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I tried to reach out to her, get coffee but she wasn’t receptive.
Now, fast forward 2 years later to when I got engaged. I get a message from her saying that “If I need a bridesmaid to let her know”…I blew her off because she hasn’t been in my life in a long time. She had been trying to message me on social media with small talk but I felt like our relationship was not close anymore. I did not send her a save the date. She then messaged me one day and blew up about how I dropped her as a friend because she quit drinking which is not true at all, and was super angry about not being invited to the wedding. She makes me feel like I am always a villain and she is always a victim. The whole relationship drains and frustrates me.
Just a side note, in the past three years, my father suffered 2 strokes and lost his ability to walk (and almost died the same day I got engaged), I was diagnosed with lupus and skin cancer, my suicidal aunt was sent to prison, I was laid off from my career, and my brother moved to China. So I really valued the few friends that I had to vent about everything that was going on, and she wasn’t there, nor seemed to care about any of this when I communicated it to her.
Am I wrong in this situation? I feel guilty that I hurt her feelings, we had been friends for about 15 years. I didn’t know that she wanted to be invited to the wedding so badly. If I could do it over I would have been more receptive to her trying to reach out but I guess I still harbor some underlying resentment. I was also uneasy about having to invite her partner to our wedding when I know their “complicated” history.
What would other brides do in this situation?