Former Best Friend Angry About Not Getting an Invite- Help!

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
9174 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

don’t stress.  a good friend is there when you need her.  move on.

Post # 3
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee

Ignore her, block her and move on with your life

Post # 4
Member
318 posts
Helper bee

She’s trying to make you feel bad and guilt you into an invitation. You don’t have a relationship so there is no point in inviting her. I would actually let her know you did not consider her a friend to respect her wishes and drop her from social media. 

Post # 5
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly I think many brides find this – as soon as they get engaged long lost “friends” come out of the woodwork angling for an invite. Don’t stress, plan your wedding and move on with your life! she was a friend is a different season of your life. 

Post # 6
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

She had literally told you that she didn’t want to be friends anymore (several years ago!), so obviously she didn’t get an invitation to your wedding. Just move on with your life.

Post # 7
Member
947 posts
Busy bee

She’s not upset because she really wants to be at the wedding, she’s just butthurt that she wasn’t invited.  Big distinction there.  

Post # 8
Member
2811 posts
Sugar bee

It sucks she’s had a lot difficulties in the last few years, but it sounds like you tried your best to be supportive and she only wanted your friendship when SHE needed you. 

You don’t get to only be a ‘friend’ when it’s convenient for you and you get public credit for it.

Sounds like a good opportunity to cut the friendship loose entirely. 

Post # 9
Member
3741 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

I wouldnt give it much of a thought. She said she didnt want to be friends, she hasnt been there for you when you needed her and gives you hell for not being there when she needs you despite the fact that you tried and she wasnt responsive. This is a person you will never be able to satisfy. You will waste hours and hours jumping through hoops to make her happy and she will always find a way to be the victim. I wouldnt waste any more energy on her. Value your real friends and enjoy your wedding! 

PS – I’m really sorry to hear about all the awful things you & your family has been through recently. I hope its all smooth sailing from here!

Post # 10
Member
4534 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

mrb62388 :  You used the term former best friend in your post title. That pretty much sums it up…. She doesn’t get an invite or the ability to guilt you into feeling bad about her being the one to end the friendship. Block her from social media and your phone contacts list….

Post # 11
Member
2658 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

This girl is no longer your friend and hasn’t been for years – she flat out told you that she didn’t want to be your friend anymore. So why on earth would she expect an invitation to your wedding let alone be asked to be a bridesmaid?? I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong here but understand that it’s hard not to feel bad. Just keep reminding yourself that she only wants to be your friend when it suits her – she rebuked all your efforts outside of these times and wasn’t there when you needed her.

Post # 12
Member
1299 posts
Bumble bee

this person hasn’t been a friend to you in years. she reaches out when it suits her, more often than not just to chastise you. no thanks. 

Post # 13
Hostess
8547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

mrb62388 :  Block her and move on. You don’t need that kind of drama in your life. 

Post # 14
Member
735 posts
Busy bee

You can let this friendship go and not feel bad about it. And that goes for all friendships you find “draining and frustrating.” Friendships should be supportive, a give-and-take, and they should feel good. It sounds like you and her long ago stopped having any common ground.

I recently let one of my friends go in a similar way. She and I didn’t have much in common to begin with but we had started to become even more different. More than that, I noticed how she used every social occasion as an opportunity to boss people around and cause drama. I stopped texting her, turned down all her invitations and she just wouldn’t get the hint. She tried to push and guilt me back into the friendship, and when I finally told her that it was the drama and bossiness I didn’t like, tried to pull me into yet another drama about how I was “cross” with her instead of just accepting that I was done with the friendship.

Anyway, my point is, the person who is still struggling and feels like they are being left behind (you are getting married, moving on with your life) will likely try to make you feel responsible and guilty. But you don’t need to. You don’t need to respond, and you don’t need to invite her. Do what’s right for you.

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