- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2017
We are having a May 2017 in Miami. Most of our guests will be traveling from out of state – we plan on sending out our save the dates in August. My question is I have a few guests who I am not sure yet if I want to invite, can I send their save the dates at a later time?
One of the guests is my former best friend – up until about a year and a half ago she was always going to be my maid of honor we have been friends for 20 years. We slowly started growing apart as she struggled to navigate the adult world and started making very questionable choices. I always offered advice, motivation, and sometimes even money to help her out of certain binds. I tried to do everything I saw fit as a best friend to help her mature, and be the person I know she can be. As she kept making the same mistakes over and over again both professionally and personally – our relationship just sort of drifted apart. The really nail in the coffin if you will was when I met her boyfriend about a year and half ago… we drove over to his house to pick him up and he was out in the driveway, we got out of the car and were introduced. 2 minutes after we met he whipped it out and peed about one foot from me. At dinner he talked about the following topics, d*ck cheese, anal, happy endings and the art of a good hand job. After dinner as we were driving back to his place he kept telling my friend how badly he wanted to smash her face into the glass, and how he wished she had burned herself with her tea at dinner.
Needless to say I was not impressed. The next day my friend excitedly asked what I thought of him (seriously?!) I told her I was disgusted, and asked if she was okay, if he had hurt her, why she thought she deserved this, and she just laughed, and said that neither one of them are affectionate so this is how they show they care?! Anyways she was upset I didn’t care for him, and that was it.. we slowly started talking less and less, and then nothing.
She found out I was engaged via Facebook and sent a text that just said “congrats” I responded, and that was it. It has been 5 months and I have not heard from her since. I am undecided if I should invite her to the wedding? I don’t want to regret it down the road, but I also am not close to her anymore.
We are inviting 160 guests to our wedding, which may seem large to some but it is actually fairly intimate, all the people we are inviting we see or speak to on a regular basis and over 90% of it is family. We are not giving anyone at our wedding an “and guest” all of our guests are being invited by name, including their significant others. Guests who are single, mostly FH friends, are all friends, they all know each other, and will honestly have more fun just with the guys, than with dates. This is important because I would not give her an “and guest” he is obviously not welcomed at the wedding, etiquette can kiss my arse honestly, would you want that at your wedding?!
So instead of giving her a “and guest” I would invite my other old high school friend, who I communicate with every now and then with, and they are best friends now. That way they could travel with one another, stay with one another, sit with each other etc.
What should I do? Can I send the save the date out later, and see how things go, maybe see if we talk, she reaches out, etc?