(Closed) Former friend sent us a gift…

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That is strange. Maybe this is her trying to make amends?

Post # 4
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree that I think it is her trying to reach out to you.  It sounds like maybe she was jealous of him because she lost her best friend.  I know that you don’t feel lost but you did move away from her and are now with your Fiance instead of around her all the time.  I would give her a call and personally thank her for the present and extend the olive branch.

Post # 5
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you definitely need to thank her. Maybe she realized she was wrong to treat you like that. I would just call her and thank her and ask about her life and make no mention of how things ended, attempt to move forward.

Post # 6
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That could be an olive branch.  I’d just send a thank you note and include in it whatever you feel is right to say.  If you don’t miss the friendship and you don’t want to try to bury the hatchet, then a simple thank you is fine.  If you miss her and would like to try over, say so.  Its your call.  But I’d probably just send a note, so she has the ball in her court. 

Post # 7
572 posts
Busy bee

I think that you should defintely send her a thank you card but maybe you should also call her and just thank her over the phone and see where the conversation goes. Maybe she is using this as an ice breaker. You will be able to tell by the tone in her voice when you call her.

Good luck!

Post # 9
179 posts
Blushing bee

Wow, this is something that is so out of the blue. The bees are right in suggesting that you send a thank you note telling her your grateful for her generousity and whatever you feel comfortable saying to her. Also, you really need to figre out if you want her back in your life at all and if so, in what capacity? A lot of damage has been done, is it worth it for her to be back in your life again?

Although it would be easy to pick up the phone, there are no garauntees that she would actually pick up and talk to you or even return a voice message. It could also be an uber awkward conversation, esp. after all of this time has passed and you’ve moved-on. A note would be a better way to break the ice. Plus, it wouldn’t be so bad if you let your ex-bff come to you… open up to you first. She at least owes you a real explanation after all of these years.


Post # 10
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think this is her type of olive branch (not everyone is a verbal person).  I think you obviously need to acknowledge the gift even if you aren’t serious about continuing the relationship. 

Post # 12
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think the gift (especially so far in advance of your wedding date) is a huge stretched out arm on her part.  She’s reaching out.  Maybe she couldn’t muster up a message for the card that BB&B would attach or maybe she felt that wasn’t the appropriate forum to tell you how she felt.  Either way, her hand seems to be reaching for you, perhaps it’s time to be the bigger person and hold on tight.  Of course you’re going to send a thank you card, but I would definitely consider making it a very warm, heartfelt one.  Forget all the stuff from the time you moved until the day before you got the package, remember the 14 years you had before.  We’re not perfect beings, she made some mistakes, but it seems she wants you back in her life. 

Post # 13
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Since it doesn’t sound like you necessarily want to rekindle the friendship – I’d just send a thank you note (thank you for your thoughtfulness, I hope you are doing well, blah blah….) it doesn’t have to be super detailed about your life right now – but you should acknowledge that she made the effort.

If you do want to rekindle the friendship, I’d say a thank you note and a phone call is in order.

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