- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2009
I am having a low moment. One of those times where the bad thoughts of painful events pop up out of nowhere. It’s a nice day with lots of sun and blue skies. I was happy…and then BAM….the dumb thought came into my head and now my nice day isn’t feeling so nice anymore
So here is a call to the hive to see if anyone else has gone thru this. In this day and age with so much divorce, I can’t imagine I am alone
Have you ever had a step parent after the divorce, tell you that they don’t want to know you anymore?
My mom was married to him from age 5-17. We stayed in touch on and off over the next 13 years. We had not see each other in person in over 10. But we have exchanged calls and cards infrequently over the years. He is and always would be my stepdad. He raised me my ENTIRE CHILDHOOD
Last year when I emailed him to invite him to the wedding, I did not get a reply.
Eventually after going thru different measures, I reached him and he wrote back:
“I have a new life and I have no desire to reconnect with you”
I have a personal blog and I have never talked about this. Not Once
it is so painful that even now, I can barley stand to think about it. When he did that ……..I felt shattered. He was my father figure and I felt that he would always love me like a stepchild. For me it was worse than him dying. He was taking away the title of father and daughter and I was now nothing. And it was worse than those years when my mom and I were on the outs. Even if we didn’t talk…she was my mom. She cannot ever get rid of that title. For me…..that is what is the most confusing. It is as if he said “I am not your stepdad anymore”. I have gone thru ups and downs with people and parents……but the way a step parent can be a parent one minute and then “nothing” the next. I don’t know how to emotionally cope with that.
Life really is a bitch sometimes. There is not a thing I can do about it. I mean, sure I can do things about the way I cope. I can write him a letter..I think about that A LOT. Oh how I I want to tell him off….oh, the imaginary fights I have had in my car! haha! But the fact is, what is done is done and I cannot change it. It hurts so badly sometimes.
Have you ever had someone you thought of as a parent, tell you that they don’t want to be involved with you at all anymore?