- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
I’m starting this thread in hopes others in this situation can find each other and give support.
My Darling Husband and I have been living together solidly for about nine months and finally being able to be together is nothing short of amazing. However I have moved thousands of miles from everyone I know, to a new country, and after nine months here I still feel no where near adjusted.
For us, where we were going to live was a no-brainer. I had just graduated from Uni, had family and friends scattered all over the place and was used to moving around a lot while he had a job and all of his friends and family lived close to each other. I felt the adjustment would be easier on me but….
Two biggest things
1)Job: Moving to a new country means lots of visa nonsense, which meant after graduating and going back and forth seeing what it was like to live together, I’d been unemployed since graduating well over a year before I was even allowed to look for work, and its been over a year and a half now and still unemployed.
2)Social Circles/Lonliness: I’ve never moved anywhere without either having school or my favourite hobby to fall back on to meet people. However here my favourite hobby is hundreds of miles away now, and have yet to find a way to make any of my own friends (though I try!) and this has been really hard on me. I have adopted many of DHs friends, and family members our age but there remains only a single person that it feels natural to simply hang out with, though I’ve made an effort with others, they don’t reciprocate. DH is at work every day and I keep myself busy reading, doing projects, cleaning, running errands but I am always just waiting for him to get home and I find myself really emotional during the day having no one in my time zone to talk to, and no one outside of Darling Husband to open up to. I feel unbalanced like I can’t stop blabbing when I finally get around people, and I’m sure I’m more clingy than most wives when he gets home because he is my only companion and I know thats not right. I find myself on the verge of sadness whenver he makes plans with his friends, whenever he goes to band practice because I just start thinking of all I’ve left behind and how I so desparately want my life to start feeling more like a life and less like an extended visit. I never want to deprive him of anything, but lately I’ve been having a really hard time staying positive when day after day I feel like I’m struggling to get my life moving as he seems to be soaring…. while at the sametime, my being jobless is hurting us both.
I know that things are bound to improve – especially once I get a job, but at the moment I’ve been finding things rather difficult. I would never regret coming here – I love it here, his family has been so so kind and this is all worth it to be together…. but moving has been much more difficult than I was prepared for.
Anyone else feeling similarly?