foster to adopt

posted 3 years ago in Adoption & Surrogacy
Post # 2
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I don’t have a lot of experience yet, but Darling Husband and I just started taking the classes to become foster parents.  The training we have been going through is intense.  The rule book they gave us is 142 pages…still wrapping my head around that one!

We are looking to both adopt through foster, and foster until reunification is a success.  The instructor we had last week told us that historically, in her county, adoption through fostering isn’t very common since reunification is so successful.  Where as in my county, adoption seems to be more common.  

I’m definitely interested in hearing what experiences others have had!

Post # 4
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

elizkar23 :  I honestly think it just depends on your county and where you are from.  The towns I am taking my training in, are all small/rural type communities with a smaller population, so that will affect things!  I grew up in the town I live in so, I’m nervous about the possibilities of running into my foster child’s family.  If that gets to be too much of a hassle (or danger) we might start fostering out of our county, which is an option.  The good news is, once you have completed the training and homestudy, you can look else where out of the county.  I feel like that might speed the process up.

Like you, Darling Husband and I just want to be a positive impact for the children, no matter how long or short they may be in our home.  I have friends who have fostered and years later have run into their now adult foster children.  They have been told that the only time they felt safe and loved was the time spent in their home.  As heart breaking as that is, at least we can offer some peace and happiness to the children that need it!

Post # 5
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Edson Keith Mansion

elizkar23 :  Fostering with the goal of adoption is wonderful but having the whole thing finalized within four months is very uncommon. If there is even a slight CHANCE of reunification and the parents are at all cooperative I’d say that probably won’t happen. That is not to discourage you in the least, my husband and I also want to foster eventually. I just would not get your hopes up on anything so speedy. 

BUT like I said, it is wonderful and so rewarding. Tomorrow a case that I have been working on for a year and a half is closing with adoption and it makes me so happy that I could almost cry. 

Post # 6
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

My Aunt and Uncle fostered two sisters with the intent of adopting but after a year they we given back to the grandfathers girlfriend all within 24 hours. It was a pretty traumatic experience not only for them, but the girls as well. They always knew reunification was a posibility but underestimated the emotional toll it would take on them. Not to scare you away or anything! They did say they would do it again.

Post # 7
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2016

How easy it is all depends on the situation.  Where I live, in order for a case to be closed as an adoption the child has to be living with the foster parents for 6 months.  Some cases the parents rights are terminated more quickly than others.  If the parents had their rights terminated with other children and the one you’re fostering is a new baby then the process may be fast.  Death of a parent and long term incarceration can also speed the process.  But parents are given the minimum of a year to complete a case plan to get their children back.  They can extend their plans or even at the trial to terminate their rights the parent can win more time byt proving that CPS did not help them enough or give them enough referrals.

You could skip fostering al together and simply go through adoptions with your county.  You go to adoption events to meet children, have a case worker to help match you and nothing is finalized right away so you have that time for the child to live with you and bond/ see if you fit each other.

But don’t foster to fall in love with every child you care for and think adoption will be the outcome.  There will be a lot of heartbreak that way.

Post # 9
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee

I know two different families who are doing foster to adopt.

First is my fiancé’s brother and sister in law. They are the best parents ever and have two daughters of their own. At first, they got a little baby but only had him for a couple months. Then they took in two older brothers, 9 & 7. They started out pretty good, but now the boys completely disregard the foster mom but will listen to foster dad. Therapist said it’s likely from observing their . Thankfully, a family member is going to adopt the boys, but this time it just wasn’t a good match and the outcome will be for the for for everyone.

A friend’s parents were doing foster to adopt. They got siblings of 3, with one being a baby. All three ended up going back to mom, only to come back to the foster parents. They have since officially adopted the youngest one but the two older siblings are back with the parent. I know they had a really difficult time adopting, but I think they got it done within 1 year after getting the kids back.

Post # 10
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

We are currently at the beginning of our journey to become foster parents.  We contacted the county who then provided us with a list of agencies that they work with.  We selected our agency who projects a six month approval process.  Who knows when we will be placed with a child or two.  

From our years of research I’ve found that every situation is as unique as the child.  Some may be a piece of cake, others may be a challenage, while some may simply break your heart.  It is a gamble, but so is natural pregancy itself along with life.

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